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Stereotypical middle class, suburban white girl.

[mindocr]

[tymorrowland]

he’s so stupid I love him

[bejeweling]

date someone u want to annoy forever 

[itsbyrosie]

[hoemami-deactivated20171229]

[therelatableimages]

[victorpopejr]

When she bring a baby goat out the closet and u can’t remember the safe word

[mintmilano]

My favorite straight people proverb is “not that there’s anything wrong with that”

[thinking2-deactivated20171229]

people w words like cool friendly nice friend buddy guy etc in their URL I automatically trust u

[coolfriendlynicefriendbuddyguy]

whats your credit card number

[cutegaywitch-deactivated2021022]

apps that shut off your music when you open them just how fucking important do you think you are

[melonboyy]

[medusick]

this is so wholesome 

[tiredassperra-deactivated201704]

honestly i just want this to spread because i’m so sick of the heteronormative narrative of ‘lol hate my wife/gf so annoying stop talking’ like… if you don’t want to hear them talk don’t be with them that’s what a relationship is i don’t

[galpalactic]

me: *googles how to mash potatoes*

some food blogger: My childhood home was full of wind and light. On a brisk Autumn evening, it often felt as if the outside was in. My younger sister, my mother, our favourite cousin, our dog, our other dog, our dog’s sister, and I would sit on the floor in the living room for hours, lit only by the moon and candlelight

me: *scrolls for several minutes*

some food blogger: It was at that moment, with my tiny hands clasped tightly around a mason jar filled with fireflies, that I realised the true value of family. My dog and my dog’s sister came and sat quietly at my feet. We stared up at the sky together, and I felt truly connected to both the Earth at my feet and the ancestors who shared the blood that ran through them, for the first time realising that

me: *scrolls for several minutes*

some food blogger: and when we finally made it home, our cheeks flushed with laughter and cold, there were warm mashed potatoes waiting for us. I will always remember their fluffiness, perfectly mirroring the light feeling I carried with me for the entire next week. This is my favourite cousin’s recipe from that very day, modified slightly to not be fucking awful. Boil an potato and smush it up with fork and botter. NOT A RAW, Salt, pepepr. In it

[theonion]

[gothicprep]

[thewhimsicalscatterbrain-deacti]

“Ewww, you’re dating someone who used to be a man? That makes you gay!” Well, the person you’re dating used to be a child, so with your logic that makes you a pedophile

[insanebatpool13-deactivated2016]

A-fucking-men

[mickeysphilharmagic]

From now on I am only accepting sexts in Dr. Seuss rhyme form

[mickeysphilharmagic]

“What’re you up to?” His simple text said. “Just eating cereal and lying in bed.” “What if I was with you?” he responded with ease, “I guess I’d get more cereal if I please.” And that’s when he said it, that simpering lad, that stupid response that makes all of us mad. My mind filled with dread, with a twist in my gut, I picked up my phone and read: “Haha, and then what ;)”

[macleod]

fuck

[kingcheddarxvii]

do u think god ever gets sad like “what do u mean u don’t love urself i worked so hard on u….”

[victini]

You can control white people by giving them cheese

[0ndo]

cheese is so good tho

[victini]

I got one