As a historian, I should have seen this coming

[ranseiuniter-a]

"Like dad always said, you don't have to worry about how long it takes to reload if you kill 'em in one shot."

[harmori]

“Your father would be proud.”

And so is uncle Nari.

[harmori]

Popularized by scholars

don’t be a fuckinh snitch hisa smfh

[headspace-hotel]

I fucking love libraries man like I’ve been chilling in my college library and randomly pulling out books and today I looked at one called “medieval sexuality” and it was talking about how monks thought they should never have sexual feelings or get erections ever and there was a quotation from the account of this one monk who wrote about how a woman had to stay with him one night because she was like travelling or something and the sight of her made him so horny that during that night he had to stick his hand in a candle flame to distract himself from how horny he was and also at least one monk wrote about having homoerotic dreams about Jesus

kids these days need to open a book and be scarred for life by some obscure historical fact that they could have easily gone their entire lives not knowing

[jellisdraws]

*Opens book*

*takes 3000 Psychic damage*

*closes book*

“Neat!”

[shiftythrifting]

“What is this? A mug for Ents???”

Goodwill, Snellville GA

[unexperience-archive]

100% unprocessed all natural poisonous mushroom salad, with ingredients you can pronounce and trust

[unexperience-archive]

non-GMO

[unexperience-archive]

it’s just a bunch of poisonous mushrooms in a bowl

[unexperience-archive]

it will cure any illness or ailment you have (because it will kill you)

[harmori]

Haha! He wasn’t even fifty yet!

[harmori]

shidenraikiri‌:

@harmori​

“…San…ni…ichi! Mo ii kai?” Gin strained her ears, hearing only the breeze with neither a ready or not yet. The Mōri children may have all been younger than her, but she was on their home turf. Finding them in the grounds that surrounded Greenleaf’s castle would take all her and Shinx’s knowhow. Assuming Haru hadn’t cheated by hiding inside again. Moto probably had stopped that, though.

“Okay!” Shinx jumped to attention out of the curled ball of covered ears and eyes. Gin picked a direction at random and set off at a jog. She’d need to keep the pace up to cover the castle grounds.

The portion of the grounds the girl found herself in was one of the lord’s favorite: a more private nook of the expansive garden well suited for reading. The area was dotted with large, well tended to trees, providing a perfect balance of shade and beauty to anyone would would take up residence in the hammock slung between them, complete with a blanket thrown over it. A bird feeder hangs from one of the trees, and though there are sounds of birds nearby, none sit on the small house. Unlike the more public spheres of the grounds, most of the plants weren’t flowering blooms, but rather a small selection of herbs and teas cultivated by the warlord. The most notable feature of the area was a rather large fountain with the likeness of a Serperior coiled to make its base.

[harmori]

hcavensarrow‌:

    Her father had always made fun of uncle Nari for being a stickler for the rules, she recalled. Hiroko could never be sure how true that was–her father had a way of exaggerating, after all–but in all the stories she’d been told of their childhood together, it was true that most of the trouble they ran into had been mostly her father’s fault, with poor uncle Nari trying to be the voice of reason (and failing). 

    The fact that he was here, outside of the village, certainly contradicted that bit of knowledge though. And–perhaps more importantly–she now had to dread the scolding of a lifetime for breaking the rules herself.

    “What are you doing here?! I thought we were under orders not to leave the village!” | @harmori​

It took every shred of willpower not to bury the poor girl in a smoldering hug. It seemed like the entire family disappeared over night, and every day carried a new ache of mourning. 

On the bright side, relief was an easy enough emotion to convert into concern, then to disappointment, and finally to a softly boiling anger. 

“Well, we aren’t, and I was going to keep enough conversational decency not to ask you the same thing, but since you brought it up-” Just like that, the smile dropped into what was often described by his children as the ‘in trouble’ face- brows knit, lips down-turned and voice a harsh whisper, “What are you doing out here, Hiro?! We thought you were dead!”

[agentsokka]

“Like that firebender who came to this place a few years ago, looking to destroy his enemy. So.. who are you trying to destroy?”

[harmori]

savageorchids‌:

    “The way you put it, you make it sound almost noble. I’ll keep that in mind so I don’t go mad with power once I have half an idea of what I’m doing.”

    Relaxing a little, Ruolan felt herself able to breathe easier. Maybe it was all just part of a cleverly-built facade, but Motonari’s easygoing attitude made her feel just a bit better herself - the absentminded, affable old scholar schtick was clearly working for him. 

     “Even so, I’ll keep my eye on him if he ever comes around. I might be a slow learner, but I’ve learned enough from experience to know that the nice ones are usually the most dangerous.”

     …An adviser. She’d been so bogged down with the minutiae of resurrecting her kingdom, the simple matter of staff had completely missed her. Glancing aside, she lifted her shoulders in a nervous shrug.

    “You’re lookin’ at her. I’ve had a couple people nice enough to come from other kingdoms to help rebuild, but at the moment, the only one advising me is me - and you can see how that’s going.” She laughed, though it came out sounding more desperate than amused. “Why? Do you know someone who’d be crazy enough to pick up such a sh…such a rough detail?”

“Fair enough- not many people are nice for the sake of it in this country.” Hopefully that would change as the wounds of war healed, but it wasn’t going to be a quick stitch. Generations had been fighting the same battle for what seemed like eons. 

Still, a waterfall starts with one drop. 

“Well-- I can’t promise perfect attendance, given their involvement with Greenleaf matters, and they don’t have the cleanest reputation, but I can promise experience beyond compare and, probably most importantly, completely free consultation- save maybe access to restricted documents or histories that would have been restricted to the public.”

What a weird resume to have. To think, technically, he never had a job before. Warlording was on a bit of a different scale.  

Motonari bowed deeply, keeping his head lowered as he spoke, “It would be an honor to assist you in your efforts to rebuild Chrysalia, if you’d have me.”

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[miaislying]

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

decay exists as an extant form of life

[miaislying]

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

[thehauntingofjulia]

I know pokemon variations aren’t so popular these days but… here’s Morelull!

[bellossom]

a large number of grass type Pokémon have a face like (｡• ᵕ •｡) and, well, I think that’s great

[skyandcosmos]

First practice animation with Clip Studio Paint.

[charlesoberonn]

My Arch Nemesis: Do you know why I challenged you to this duel?

Me: You want me to stop making puns.

My Arch Nemesis: You’re right.

My Arch Nemesis: I didn’t want to do this. I once considered you a friend. It didn’t have to come to this. But the puns have to stop.

Me: It really is the duelity of man.

My Arch Nemesis: *shoots me instantly*

[charlesoberonn]

Me: *holds my bullet-ridden intestines in place* It all lead to this.

My Arch Nemesis: Why *shot* Won’t *shot* You *shot* Die?! *shot*

[charlesoberonn]

Me:

[hopesterling]

This is the caliber of comedy I expect

[patrickat]

Number one with a bullet.

[cookiecarnival]

Silly Symphony - Water Babies (1935)

[datafarmer-deactivated20180714]

[harmori]

@hiragum0