Procrastinating Author

Because what else is the internet good for?

[hartsnkises]

I don't want to be blocked and I'm tired of worrying about it. Yes I'm above 18.

[khrysalisposting]

WELCOME BACK GRUB GUARDIAN THANK YOU KINGSISLE

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

First humans ever to leave the solar system suddenly drop out of communications and the ship can't be found with any equipment. After one month of no contact their home countries start reluctantly holding funerals for the space heroes only for them all to turn up, healthy, well fed and extremely disoriented, in the middle of Tokyo, talking about alien abduction. Turns out that aliens found the poor humans straying out of their solar system, presumably lost, and took them to Alien Wildlife Rehabilitation before dumping them back in the middle of their native habitat.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#bonus points if none if the crew are Japanese#aliens just dropped where they thought was best

I literally just googled "city with the highest population"

[marlynnofmany]

I’ll bet they have cool new tattoos that turn out to be tracking devices too. Just in case these spirited individuals try to make another break for it.

[teal-deer]

... do the tats make them stupid popular, like that time scientists gave birds tracker anklets and it accidentally made them ultra fuckable

[marlynnofmany]

Let’s say yes. Those alien scientists are learning so much, and none of it is accurate.

[hartsnkises]

"We are here to protect the business owners of Purpee"

Brennan, being unsuble as usual

[hartsnkises]

Did anyone else hear Mulan and then ATLA after Aly mentioned Jack of the Pines?

[daggersoliloquy]

hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit

[aleph-sharp]

I remember this doctor who episode!

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Honestly bizarre that tomatoes get all the flack for “not being a vegetable” because they're technically a fruit when:

A) There are a ton of fruits that get categorised as vegetables. Like this also applies to pumpkins, squashes and cucumbers.

B) The fucking mushrooms are standing there at the back of the crowd in this witch trial, trying to look inconspicuous because they somehow got into the vegetable club with no fucking controversy despite the fact that they're not even plants.

[mortimermcmirestinks]

"technically tomatoes are fruits--" THAT MUSHROOM OVER THERE IS MORE CLOSELY RELATED TO A FUCKING SHIH TZU THAN IT IS TO LITERALLY ANY PLANT

[teaboot]

@mortimermcmirestinks

[mortimermcmirestinks]

IS THAT FANART?

[teaboot]

it’s a warning

[yanguang]

[lizholmes]

oh he would have loved having a blog

[savouryduck]

Official Siku Quanshu Post!

[some kind of sparkly banner]

This post has been Certified as a Treasure by the Old Man of Ten Great Campaigns!

[links to his carrd and askbox]

[another sparkly banner]

[just-another-cat-blog]

pride month!!!

[lemonsharks]

Is that a miette?

[jeanjauthor]

Pride for you!  Pride for a thousand years!!

[lost-and-cursed]

you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

[syn4k]

ok note to self i gotta leave the house regularly so that i dont feel like im slowly transforming into an evil fucking shadow clone of myself

[syn4k]

So as it turns out your sense of self doesnt exist in a vacuum. You gotta actually use it and bounce it off of other people like echolocation to see where you are as a person and shit. So if you dont regularly interact with other people the echoes just get weaker and weaker and before you know it your personality is a blurry fucked up fog clone of its former self. which it sucks because this makes it really hard to interact with people again but yknow

[moonybear]

well now that it's been confirmed gus is gay, let one of the other redheads at him. nothing bad could happen from azune "total normal around older men he wants to impress" nayar flirting with the king

[lappuncheung]

27 Knife and Palette

[goofballproximitysurveyor-deact]

[a-maiz-ing]

The voice acting didn’t have to hit like that

[macademmia-deactivated20260103]

you have to unmute the voice acting is Oscar worthy

[slashercatz]

he sounds like an anime villain

[ralzei1997]

this is just the guy from that game slave 2 episode of invader zim

[do-not-u-dare]

oh my god

[xmajordumps]

guys,

[apolladay]

Are you..

fucking busy

busy fucking

Remaining time: 4 days 1 hour

[jewish-rock]

[hartsnkises]

Yenessa! Is horrifying! "You're more important than killing you because I'm angry"–>okay, a bit concerning we went there, but on the right path "I've put too much work into you"–>oh. Oh no. Run, Wick! You're not a person to her

[dogpuppy]

[teaboot]

My faceblindness is JUST enough that I'm not certain if this is Hugh Laurie or just a scruffy white guy with blue eyes but he's DEFINITELY doing the Hugh Laurie mouth thing so I'm about 70% certain it is

[rclipseatron]

No that's definitely Hugh Laurie.

[teaboot]

Oh thank god.

In that case, "You have to pay for liquor, but water's on the House"

[philosoverted-deactivated202006]

Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is

[systlin]

Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.

[gallusrostromegalus]

His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.

[filthyprotozoan]

gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther

[hubris-i]

#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"

[fridge246]

tired: legolas took gimli to valinor with him because they were bffs/in love/etc. 

wired: legolas took gimli to valinor to prove the world was flat after arguing with him about it for decades

[jemthecrystalgem]

Sorry it’s what to elves

[dvandom]

So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth).  But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven.  To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk.  So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.

[moomoobooboo-deactivated2020102]

This is why Legolas can see for such great, almost impossible distances. The Earth does not curve for him.

[endreal]

Legolas said fuck the horizon

[divinegaeity-deactivated2023101]

God I fucking love high fantasy