Alligator

[cheaphalloweencostume]

it is so wild that Samwise Gamgee is out here playing people’s greying portly stepdads and Frodo Baggins is still roughly 19 years of age

[lascapigliata]

#its the ring

[nicollekidman]

one episode of bojack: a thoughtful and melancholic exploration of mental illness and childhood truama, following the threads of self loathing and bad behavior into the present where they inevitably shift from parent to child 

the next episode: jessica biel sets zach braff on fire whilst trapped underground, luckily Bug Queen Rupaul saves the day 

[starwarsfilms]

[becausewhoseline]

[mytamakomysookee]

Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher watched  the  Yoda - Rockin’ and Rollin’ video together

[ruinedchildhood]

[profeminist]

“when a man does something well, we congratulate him. when a woman does something well, we drop her in thunderdome to battle other women for the title of Sole Woman Who Is Good At Things.”

-  sarah of high heart   

[debrides]

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

[lesbirdan]

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

[hermionegranger]

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

[mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010]

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

[thomrainierskies]

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

[mirab3lle]

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

[icouldwritebooks]

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

[crimeronan]

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

Anger at newspaper column that blames ‘the Jew’ for economic troubles

Wilda Rodriguez's piece in Puerto Rico daily El Nuevo Día is criticised as 'practically the definition of antisemitism'

The article is still available on El Nuevo Día’s website, with an added message at the beginning from the paper’s board saying “we want to be totally emphatic in that we do not promote content that can be interpreted as anti-Semitic, just as we do not promote content that sponsors hatred or discrimination based on gender, religion or racial ethnicity.”

An “explanatory note” from Ms Rodriguez has also been added to the article, saying: “I deeply regret that my writing has been interpreted as antisemitic. My path is clear. Prejudice and racial or religious hostility have never been part of it.

“I can understand the psychic reaction of some to the mere use of the Jewish word. But the intention is not to provoke offense, but to contribute to public discussion.”

Writing an article about how the Jews are a shadowy world power responsible for the world’s ills and then saying you “deeply regret that [your] writing has been interpreted as antisemitic” is like Patrick Bateman saying he deeply regrets that his actions have been interpreted as “stabby.” 

[atheologist]

“I’m sorry you thought my antisemitic opinion was antisemitic. I just wanted to blame the Jews; I didn’t think you’d find my antisemitism actually antisemitic!”

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

“We do not promote content that can be interpreted as anti-Semitic. However, we are not removing this article we published that uses anti-Jewish tropes popularised by the Nazis and has, indeed, been interpreted as anti-Semitic, by the author’s own admission in the below statement.”

[manticoreimaginary]

New Zealand’s new water safety mascot is amazing and his instagram is a gift

[spybrarian]

OKAY I just noticed the thing @manticoreimaginary FORGOT TO MENTION is that his name is the Swim Reaper.

[weavemama]

THIS NEW GENERATION IS LOOKING WOKER THAN US

[elfvenomm]

There’s like… so much going on in this picture lmao.

This pic is chaos, madness.

I love it.

[purplelittlemermaid]

Thisade my fucking morning holy shit

[2hippie7]

Enough said

[thedebatersbroomcloset]

Kids know everything man

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[scrollinq]

wet dog meets semi-wet dog

[garbageflowers-deactivated20250]

im you, but with legs

[wide-eyes-and-thunder-thighs]

When will my reflection show who I am inside

[gaypriori]

I lost it at “2 bread”

[shownumetal]

1 gallon of regular chocolate

[watchthelightfade]

18 minutes of flour

[whitestonelovers]

5 plates of salt

[africanaquarian]

wtf is harper talking about

[mysharona1987]

I haven’t seen The Disaster Artist film (I intend to) but I assure you: The book is still one of the funniest things ever written.  Every page has something funny and utterly weird on it. Every. Single. Page.

[deactivated-blog]

This is a description for a calendar but I like it bc it makes it sound like Mario is gonna give me the emotional and financial support I need to get my life together in 2018. 

[melvinandlugnut]

The bros is here for you

[alphonseelricreal-deactivated20]

reblog stability mario to have your shit together in 2018

[wolveswolves]

The wolves at Wolf Park Indiana were given paint as a form of enrichment and as a fundraiser to make “original wolf art”. Most of the wolves were happy to step in the paint for a piece of hot dog and make nice paw prints on a page, but this guy decided rolling in it was way more fun.

Picture by C. Love

[out-there-on-the-maroon]

Reblog the Rebel Artist Punk Wolf to achieve glorious turquoise sideburns.  

[onceiwashere]

i cant believe its daylight savings time and i havent seen the “hello its me your cousin oskaar from iceland” video on my dash yet you are all slackers

[onceiwashere]

i guess i have to do all the work around here dont i