If, there were an easier version of me, the one who listens to people, never takes any risk, never makes mistakes, I think my mom would choose her. Isn't that something? You made me into this mess and now you don't want it? What did you think happened to children born in battlefields? If no one would ever know, and you could replace me, I think you'd do it. If no one would ever judge you, I think you'd hate me. I think you'd hate me, if no one would ever find out about it. I think you do anyway. I think you just haven't accepted it but you dislike me. I think if I were someone else entirely, you'd love me.
NHL Highlights @ESPN Hockey – Ottawa vs. Edmonton – video 4:56
@hollanovbeliever
Roz is touching his cheek like a pre-teen getting his first kiss from Hollander, sir, you’re literally married to the man. #hollanov #firsthusbandsofhockey
*
Five times Shane and Ilya’s softness with each other ends up online, and the internet reacts.
4.2k words
1.
Ilya Rozanov can already see his husband shaking his head at him from halfway across the ice as he makes it back to their side. Behind him, the fight from moments ago is breaking up as the ref calls a penalty on the Edmonton defenseman.
“Moya lyubov! You are proud of me, yes? I didn’t start it this time,” he calls out as he gets closer to the bench. “That idiot gave Haasy a dirty hit. He’s our son, Hollander. I had to respond!”
A couple of his players laugh at the running joke about their youngest teammate being their child, but Ilya doesn’t pay them any mind, his eyes still focused on his husband. There is a little frown playing on Shane’s face that doesn’t take away from his beauty, no matter how stern he tries to look. After a moment, it eases into a reluctant smile of amusement.
“You’re ridiculous,” Shane says softly, shifting over to make space for him to sit down. They’ve both done their job for the night; there are only two minutes left in the game, and the Centaurs are up by four.
Wiebe has the third line on the ice, wrapping up the night – another check on the win column for Ottawa.
Ilya takes his helmet off, and Shane’s hands are on him instantly, checking him over, his fingers dancing over the left side of his jaw where he was hit earlier in the game.
His breath catches at the casual touch. Two years ago, when the world didn’t yet know about them, Ilya could only dream of Shane touching him like this with zero concern for the crowd or cameras that loved to have their focus on them.
“You’re gonna have a mark,” Shane murmurs at him. He reaches up to run his hand through Ilya’s sweat-damp curls, giving his hair a slight tug at the base of Ilya’s neck, pulling him towards him. Ilya goes willingly, resting his forehead against Shane’s. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Of course, it’s just a bruise, my love,” He murmurs in Russian, his heart doing an embarrassing little flutter at the smile Shane gives him as he recognizes the words easily. “But I’ll be better if you kiss it,” he continues in English, grinning widely as Shane lets out a huff, pulling away from him – his eyes rolling, but his smile still in place.
There are seconds on the clock as Haas lands a top-shelf goal, bringing the final score 5-1 for the Centaurs. He and the rest of the team are over the boards, shouting happily at the sound of the buzzer.
Ready to celebrate, he doesn’t get far when a hand wraps around his wrist, and soft, familiar lips press to the edge of his jaw, lingering there for a long moment. “Better?” Shane whispers as he pulls back, his cheeks rosy, his eyes bright and amused, as Ilya stares back at him, lovestruck.
Ilya nods dumbly, and he worries what color his own cheeks might be as Shane skates away from him, chuckling. He watches him as he goes, unable to stop himself from bringing up his fingers to touch the place Shane’s lips had just been, the already ridiculous smile on his face growing as he watches Shane give Luca a big congratulatory hug at his impressive goal.
NHL Highlights @ESPN Hockey – Ottawa vs. Edmonton – video 4:56
@hollanovbeliever
Roz is touching his cheek like a pre-teen getting his first kiss from Hollander, sir, you’re literally married to the man. #hollanov #firsthusbandsofhockey
@Rozanov81Stan
Who would have thought we’d see the day that Rozanov the playboy would be so whipped? Shane Hollander, THE MAN YOU ARE, THE POWER YOU POSSESS. #hollanov #rozanovthesimp
@ShanesFreckles
Okay, but Shane checking Rozanov for injury? Pulling him close without a care in the world when we all know he’s the most awkward turtle. The SMILES, THE HAPPINESS HE RADIATES THESE DAYS. As a Shane Hollander stan, I could cry. He’s so happy.
@LucaHaasismyMan
My baby’s top-shelf goal, and everyone on the team celebrating him. My boy is LOVED! #LucaHaas #winner
@RealMMetrosFan
It’s disgusting how Rozanov and that traitor flaunt their lifestyle. Thank god we ran Hollander out of town.
>@OttawaCenFan
Yeah, thank god you idiots ran off the best player you guys ever had. What’s the Metros’ losing streak at now? Nine consecutive games? Pipe down, loser. #Metrosloss #Centaursgain #westaywinning.
2.
Ilya is showered, dressed, and ready to go, but there are cameras and mics in his face as about half a dozen reporters ask their questions. A few feet away from him, Shane is fielding his own.
“Ilya, congratulations on another win. Do you think you guys can keep the momentum going?”
“Yes,” he answers shortly, trying hard not to roll his eyes. These things are always so dull with the same boring questions. What he really wants to do is go home, take his husband to bed, and celebrate their win.
“Do you want to expand on that?”
This time, he does roll his eyes, unable to help himself. “The team is solid. We are working hard. We have the best talent in the league. We are good to keep going.”
“Next week, you guys play Montreal, the games between your teams can be tense given the history between them and your…”
“Husband?” he prompts, raising an eyebrow at the reporter asking the question, a middle-aged man with a receding hairline and a cheap suit.
As if he had summoned him with that one word, Shane is suddenly at his side. Ilya looks at him, noticing his tense shoulders and set jaw, and knows Shane overheard the question.
“Shane Hollander, are you worried about next week’s game against your former team?” The same reporter quickly redirects the question to Shane, his eyes glinting with the look of a man looking for a headline.
“It’s not the first time we have gone up against Montreal since I joined the Centaurs – “ Shane starts, and Ilya knows he’s about to be all polite and media-trained.
Fuck that. Fuck Montreal.
“And we have beaten them every time we have played against them since Shane joined the Centaurs. This time won’t be any different,” he interrupts with a knife-sharp grin as Shane lets out a tired sigh to his left. His smile goes from mean to soft when he feels Shane’s hand slip into his—the cameras tracking the movement.
“They are three-time champions,” the reporter points out, and Ilya doesn’t bother to stop the snort that comes out of him.
“Yes,” he starts, his voice tinted with dry amusement. “Let’s pretend the only reason Montreal has any cups in the last decade isn’t standing right next to me.”
“Ilya,” Shane cautions softly, his hand squeezing his in warning, but Ilya isn’t done yet.
“I’m sure pushing out the best player in the league out the door hasn’t affected them at all,” he continues, his tone going mockingly innocent. “How many games have they won this season again?”
“And that’s the last comment, thank you all,” Shane says sternly as multiple reporters try to ask more questions.
Shane tugs on his hand, trying to pull him out of the huddle that the reporters have them in. “ugroza.”
Ilya grins at the word. ‘Menace’.
“Vot pochemu ty menya lyubish’.”
Shane rolls his eyes at him. He tugs him again, this time into his body. Behind them, Ilya knows the cameras are catching everything.
“No,” Shane shakes his head at him before leaning in to press a kiss to Ilya’s temple. “It’s just one in a million reasons.”
Ilya’s breath catches at his husband’s words; the warmth that comes with Shane’s easy declaration spreads throughout his body, heating him from the top of his head to his toes.
@HockeyNews – Centaurs’ Captain Ilya Rozanov gives thoughts on next match-up against Montreal – video 4:13 minutes
@PassthePuck
‘Gives thoughts’ lol, like Roz didn’t just say Montreal without Hollander ain’t shit. #montrealsucks #hollandersupremacy
>@Hockeygirl2481
I swear, wrangling Roz is Shane’s actual full-time job.
@Rozanov81Stan
Roz really said three things I don’t play about, myself, my money, or MY MAN!
@hollanovbeliever
Shane and Ilya were speaking in Russian at the end. Shane has learned Russian for his husband! I die. I need a translation post haste. #hollanov #mybabies
>@RussianIlya
@hollanovbeliever, Hollander called Ilya a menace, and Ilya said that’s the reason Hollander loves him.
>>>@hollanovbeliever
AND SHANE’S ANSWER WAS, ‘It’s just one in a million reasons.’ I DIED AGAIN, I AM DEAD, MY GHOST IS TYPING THIS. Thank you @RussianIlya
@RealMMetrosFan
We’re gonna crush the Centaurs tonight, and Rozanov can choke on it, just like he chokes on Hollander’s dick.
>@OttawaCenFan
6-0 for Ottawa, the only one choking and coping tonight is you and your bullshit team @RealMMetrosFan #homophobiadoesntwingames #suckit #ohwait #thatsgay
>>@Rozanov81Stan
@RealMMetrosfan found dead in a ditch, good work @OttawaCenFan
3.
“Boys, remember I’m live-streaming practice today, so please keep it PG-13,” Harris calls out as they all warm up on the ice.
“That warning is definitely for you, Roz,” Bood laughs as he skates by him and Shane, as they lean against the boards for a moment.
“Me?” Ilya questions innocently, the corners of his mouth twitching, giving him away. “What about Shane?” he asks his friend, jerking a gloved thumb over at his husband.
Shane raises an incredulous eyebrow at the question. It makes Ilya want to giggle.
“Hollzy isn’t the one who got his ass slammed into the boards by Haasy because he was too busy staring at his own ass last practice,” Bood answers loudly, getting a few snickers from the others, which only grows louder when Luca shouts out that he already apologized for that.
Shane snorts quietly next to him, his smile growing as Ilya turns to him with a wounded look on his face.
“You laugh at this?” he questions. “Betrayal from my own spouse, so hurtful,” he continues playing it up as Shane gives him a roll of his pretty brown eyes, his expression fond and indulgent.
“Poor baby,” Shane mocks him playfully. He leans in, brushing his lips against Ilya’s cheek in a chaste kiss.
“I was just showing appreciation for your best feature. I’m a big fan of that part of you. Biggest fan,” he continues, a smirk playing on his lips as Shane lets out a pained groan, pulling away from him.
“You do realize Harris already started the live-stream, right?” Shane questions, looking over at their communications director, who is grinning behind his phone, a few feet away from them.
“Oh?” he asks with mock surprise as he turns to their friend. “Harris, can you ask your viewers if Hollander’s ass is his best feature. We need a verdict.”
“Jesus,” Shane mumbles, his cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink that Ilya adores. His husband tries to skate away from him, but Ilya is ready for it, wrapping his arms around his waist, laughing loudly when Shane continues to skate, dragging him with him like an oversized backpack. It makes the rest of the team start laughing, warm-ups essentially forgotten for the moment.
“You’re impossible,” Shane grumbles, trying to shake him off half-heartedly.
“You loooove me,” he singsongs, dragging out the words, his accent coming out thick as he speaks into Shane’s back. “You love me so much. You tell me this every day, Hollander.”
Shane stops on the ice, and Ilya has to let go of him as he turns around to face him. “Yeah, well,” Shane shrugs helplessly, a soft smile on his face, and Ilya’s insides melt at the expression.
“Ya tozhe tebya lyublyu.”
Shane looks down at the ice bashfully, grinning – that pretty pink color taking over his cheeks once more. “Oh,” he starts, a slight frown appearing on his face. “Your skate is untied, Ilya.”
“Hmm?” Ilya questions absently, still distracted, as always, by his beautiful husband. He starts to look down at himself, letting out a soft ‘oh’ as Shane goes down to a knee before him.
“You have to be careful, baby,” Shane says as his nimble fingers make quick work of tying his skate nice and snug. He stands back up easily, not realizing how such a simple gesture affects Ilya completely.
“You are always taking such good care of me,” he says adoringly, not caring that his team will tease him about how in love he sounds or the fact that there is zero chance Harris isn’t capturing what is sure to be a lovestruck look on his face.
Shane’s eyes stray in that direction for a moment before Ilya can see him mentally shrugging off the attention on them, and Ilya is reminded once again just how far they have come from the days when Shane’s biggest fear was the world knowing how much they loved each other.
He leans in again, this time the kiss he gives Ilya isn’t on the cheek or as chaste as the one before. It’s slow, gentle, but thorough. “Always,” he whispers as he pulls back, skating backwards with a smug grin on his face. “Now come on, your edge work needs, well, work.”
“That is a blatant lie!” he shouts, giving chase after his laughing husband.
@OttawaCenFan – Centaurs live stream practice – clip 2 of 8
@hollanovbeliever
These two are gonna be the death of me, the flirting, the teasing, that KISS! Shane Hollander calling Ilya baby. The ‘you looove me’ RELEASE ME FROM THIS PRISON. #hollanov #relationshipgoals #Ilovethemyourhonor
@PassthePuck
Everyone thank Harris for feeding us so well. Can he live-stream every practice from now on?
@LucaHaasismyMan
I’ll thank him when he releases the tape of my boy Luca checking his idol into the boards.
>@ShaneFreckles
Because Roz was checking out Shane’s ass LMAO! which valid, I would argue that Shane’s freckles are his best feature though.
@Husbandsofhockey
Can we talk about Hollzy getting down on one knee to TIE ROZY SKATES THOUGH???? And Rozy, being all soft as he said Hollander always takes care of him. AHHHH. #hollanov #theyreeverything
@RealMMetrosFan
These two losers are too busy playing assgrab to even focus on practice. I would feel bad for the rest of the team if they weren’t losers too.
>@OttawaCenFan
First, a metros fan calling us losers when your team is dead last in the standings and we’re headed to the playoffs is the most hilarious thing I have read all day. Second, get the FUCK off my page, jackass.
4.
Ilya lies down on the Pikes’ massive couch, resting his head on Shane’s lap with little Amber Pike on his chest. On the floor in front of them, Ruby and Jade argue over movie choices, while Arthur, whose turn it actually is to choose the movie this time, is pressed against Shane’s side, quiet and patient.
“Uncle Ilya, I want to watch Inside Out 2,” Ruby declares, her bright eyes turn towards him. “But Jade wants to watch Elio. What do you think?”
“Both good choices, Ruby,” he starts diplomatically. “But you both know it’s Arthur’s turn to pick.” Tilting his head to look at the little boy upside down, he smiles encouragingly at him as he sinks further into Shane’s side, hiding slightly at having everyone’s attention on him suddenly. “What will it be, Art?”
Arthur looks at him, then hesitantly up at Shane. “Can we watch Elementals, Uncle Shane?”
“That’s a great choice, bud,” Shane smiles down at the boy, hugging him close to him.
Ilya has to bite his cheek to stop himself from letting out an embarrassing sigh of affection at how his husband interacts with the little boy. He loves visiting the Pikes, despite Hayden, because he loves being around the kids, but mainly because he loves seeing Shane with them. He’s always gentle and understanding with all of them. Be it with Ruby and Jade, both loud balls of energy, or quiet, less sure Arthur.
Amber abruptly slaps his face with her chubby little hand like she wants to remind him of her presence, too. She lets out a happy baby laugh as he bounces her on his chest, making silly faces that cause her to giggle some more.
“I can take her if you want, Ilya, she’s probably getting sleepy,” Jackie says as she comes into the living space from the kitchen. She laughs at him as Ilya instantly pulls the toddler closer.
“Love you, Jackie, but this is Amber and Ilya time, and I make a good pillow, right krolik?” Ilya questions, smiling when Amber gives him a sleepy smile as she lies down on him entirely, settling in. “Word?” he questions, looking up at Shane, his grin growing when he finds Shane already looking down at him warmly.
“Bunny,” Shane says easily, long used to Ilya testing his Russian by now. He needs to do so less and less these days. Shane has a pretty good grasp of the language by now, but it’s still fun for both of them.
Jade puts on Arthur’s movie pick as Jackie sits on the love seat to the left of them, and they all settle in.
“Is Pike coming to watch or what?” he questions, his own eyes closing for a moment as Shane starts to run his fingers through his curls the way he likes. If he doesn’t fall asleep halfway through the movie like Amber already is, it will be a miracle.
“He’s finishing a fanmail video, in the kitchen,” Jackie answers, and now that he’s paying attention, Ilya can hear Hayden somewhere behind them, talking in his happy media-trained voice.
“Great,” he says sarcastically, as the movie starts. “Nothing bad ever happens when Pike does a fanmail video.”
Shane shakes with silent laughter under his head, and when Ilya looks up at him again, he finds him grinning, his brown eyes dancing with amusement. “I’m sure Hayden will make sure he doesn’t get us on any reflections this time,” he promises, defending his friend.
Hayden predictably doesn’t.
@HockeyTalk – Montreal Forward Hayden Pike’s latest fanmail video – Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander caught in the reflection of a mirror.
He’s done it again: Hayden Pike’s latest video captures a tender moment between husbands and Centaurs’ teammates Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander, and Hayden Pike’s kids.
@Haydendefender
Again, my guy, again?!?! It’s getting really tough to defend you. You have to rewatch your videos before sending them out. Good lord.
>@Passthepuck
I swear he’s doing it on purpose at this point, lol. Still, how cute are Roz and Hollander with Pike’s million kids? It’s hard to hear them, but seeing the kids basically pile on them to watch a kids’ movie shows how much they love them.
@Rozanov81Stan
Rozy with Pike’s youngest, cradling her as she falls asleep on him? Ovaries exploded, done.
@hollanovbeliever
But did you guys see how Roz melts as Shane plays with his hair? I AM UNWELL.
@Husbandsofhockey
One day, those two are gonna have kids of their own, and we’ll all collectively lose our shit.
5.
They are about to win the cup. He and Shane are about to win the fucking Stanley Cup, together. There are fifteen seconds left on the timer, they’re up three to one, and there’s a power play for Ottawa.
He grins, wide and bright as Shane comes off the bench once more. Being on different lines, they don’t always get to be on the ice at the same time, but the power play is their time. Their time to show the world what a force to be reckoned with they are together. He looks over at Shane, finding the same broad smile on his face, and Ilya knows his husband is thinking the same thing as he is. They’re about to score again. They’re going to make sure of it.
The puck drops, and Ilya is quick to pick it up. What happens next is a blur of sticks and muscle memory. The puck is at his stick one moment and at Shane’s the next, and Ilya doesn’t think he takes a full breath before Shane sails in a bottle rocket goal.
“Fuck yes,” he screams, skating over to Shane, laughing as he all but crashes into him, his arms wrapped around the man that means everything to him.
He feels the bodies of the rest of the team as they rush over to hug them too, as the final buzzer rings out.
“Oh my god,” Shane exhales, laughing against his sweaty neck. “We actually did it, Ilya.” Shane pulls back to look at him, his eyes bright and wet and so full of love. Ilya is in awe that this love is his to claim for his own. “We did it.”
Ilya nods, swallowing hard around the lump in his throat. “Ya tebya lyublyu.”
Shane’s smile wobbles as a tear spills out of the corner of his eye. “I love you too. I’m so fucking proud of you, baby.”
Ilya laughs even as his own eyes sting. Around them, their team is still screaming and hugging anyone they can reach, and cameras are on the ice, capturing the celebration. He and Shane pay no mind to it; they stay in the center of the madness for a moment longer in their own personal bubble. This moment is just for them. “I should be telling you that. What a beautiful goal, my love.”
Shane stares at him for a moment longer. “If you don’t kiss me right now, I’m gonna die,” he blurts out, his cheeks pink from both the game and his words. They both know the cameras are on them by now.
“Well,” Ilya starts, leaning in, a slow smile taking over his face, loving the way Shane rolls his eyes playfully at him. “We can’t have that,” he continues as his and Shane’s lips touch.
They kiss softly, not bothering to deepen it but also not ending it either, smiling into it the whole time. They’re still smiling as they break apart just enough to end the kiss and press their helmets together.
“Cap, you gonna celebrate with the rest of us the same way as with Hollzy?” they hear Boodram shout out, amused laughs ringing out in response.
“Of course, loving kisses all around,” Ilya answers as he turns from Shane, keeping him close with his arm over his shoulders. “Get over here, Bood. You first!”
@OttawaCenFan
Life-long Ottawa fan, I can’t stop crying. This is a dream come true. #wearethechampions
@Rozanov81Stan
The mic picking up Shane telling Ilya that if he doesn’t kiss him, he’ll die, LMAO. I have never related to another person more than I do now.
>@RozyHollzy
He’s so real for that, and what a kiss. So sweet it gave me a toothache.
>>@hollanovbeliever
I’m crying in the club. I LOVE THEIR LOVE. #hollanov #lovewinsstanleycups
@DaddyBood
Roz chasing Boodram around the ice, trying to kiss him while Hollander laughs his ass off, is the most hilarious thing I have seen in a long time.
>@PassthePuck
The Centaurs winning with the power of gay love and friendship is the most wholesome thing the NHL has ever unwillingly given us. I just know Crowell is throwing a shitfit somewhere. #chokeonitdude
>>@Hollanderr24
Montreal, too, if only they hadn’t been such homophobic assholes, Shane’s 4th cup win could have been theirs too. Talk about a fumble. #hollanderdynasty
>>>@OttawaCenFan
@Hollanderr24 Fumble of the century, but their stupidity is our gain. #wearethechampions
+ 1
“Captain, answer a question for Centaurs fans?”
Ilya turns around from the celebration happening in their locker room at Harris’ voice to find the media director holding up his phone.
“Live stream?” he asks, already knowing before Harris nods. He waves at the camera. “What’s the question?”
“They want to know what’s the best part about winning the cup this time around as opposed to the last time you won it.”
Ilya stays quiet for a moment, thinking about the first time he won back in Boston and now. The feeling of elation at winning is the same and different at once, and he knows why.
The difference wraps his arms around his waist from behind, and Ilya can’t help but lean back into his husband’s hold.
“That would be, Shane,” he answers easily. “I loved winning with Boston, and I loved that team. But winning with my husband, the love of my life, my best friend, on a team that loves us as much as we love them, is – well, it’s everything. I’m so grateful to the team and the people of Ottawa for welcoming me, us, with open arms and for letting me share this with Shane.”
The room has gone quiet now, listening to him, and Ilya can see how his words are reflected in the faces of his team. “Thank you,” he says to the room at large, his eyes stinging as his friends nod back at him in support.
Harris clears his throat gently, moved by his words. “And you, Shane? Is it different from your other wins?”
Shane gives him a comforting squeeze, knowing how affected he is at the moment. “My captain said it best,” he starts softly. “Playing on this team that I love, with the person I love the most in the world – “ he pauses, pressing a kiss into Ilya’s shoulder, and Ilya can’t help but turn his head to return the kiss on the side of Shane’s face, grateful for how far they have come to be here in this moment. “It’s better than any other win, it’s everything.”
I turned all that fucking shit off. I can't have Copilot scraping my files because they contain CONFIDENTIAL LEGAL INFO. I'm not handing Microsoft the ability to doxx people, fuck off. I otherwise refuse to use Word. I've also stopped using Google Drive/Docs, and just finally sucked it up and switched to Proton (for mail/storage/docs/spreadsheets - I pay the sub for extra storage and multiple email addresses) and usd Obsidian to actually write in. Proton stuff is less convenient and Obsidian has its flaws, but I'm not worried about them fucking spying on me.
shane buying vodka for ilya to be nice even though he knows nothing about vodka and just picks one that sounds vaguely russian and ilya is like sweetheart, darling, love of my life, my moon my stars…this is the worst thing i’ve ever tasted i love you so much
I see your headcanon op and I also raise you, perhaps after this happens and Shane is like okay bet,
Shane using his big beautiful tism to do intricate research into Russian vodka to the point where he literally then uses his big bank account to have one made specifically for Ilya and perhaps named after him and then suddenly because he just wanted to make his mans happy he is the owner of a vodka company à la George Clooney casa migos tequila
Btw Ilya’s vodka is called Lily perhaps ??? Sound off in the reblogs or comments about what the vodka company would be called lmao
Ok you know Ilya's speech before he wins the cup in the show, how it was passionate (and kinda hot) and full of raw energy.
What if when Shane and him are finally playing together on the same team it's championship game, Ilya makes a similar speech where it's passionate, raw and full of energy.
Shane finds it incredibly hot.
So much that he doesn't remember the last half of the game only the moment he stepped on the ice and then suddenly the final buzzer as they're declared champions.
Ilya kisses him like he always wanted, Shane is slightly concerned about his lack of memory, until he learns he scored several goals and basically was an animal demolishing the ice while Ilya and him played the same line.
Ilya says he was so hot out there, as they head home to celebrate.
The team don't even bother trying to get them to celebrate with them.
Just the idea that Shane gets so into how passionate his husband gets when he wants something.
