the ultimate child caregiver???

[ THIS BLOG CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR NDRV3 ] private rp blog for maki harukawa of the dangan ronpa series. affiliated with KNY RP // written by lexi.

[harxmaki]

( TARGET ACQUIRED. // usosama )

@harxmaki

There’s a face he’s not excited to see. Their last encounter was far from friendly; he can almost feel the ghost of the arrow in his back. Buuut he’s not thinking about that right now! Absolutely not.

“Harukawa-chan! Killed anyone recently?”

          OUT OF ALL PEOPLE ─  OF course HE had to make an appearance.  her gut twists with all kinds of feelings ;  none of which are very good.  her fingers twitch,  entire being resisting the urge to pounce on him like prey.

“ honestly, do you care? ”  her tone is venomous,  “ if you must know,  i haven’t been involved in any of the killings.  we can change that though,  if you’d like. ”

[harxmaki]

( trumpet meme // kowoma )

[ @harxmaki​ | ‘sup wanna hang it’s not like i’m lonely or anything ]

you know, it’s not like he likes drinking. but tonight …? was just that kind of night. He doesn’t dare to be presumptuous and think she’ll accept, but… the call connects, and he places it between his shoulder and cheek even as he puts on his shoes–

“Ah, Harukawa-chan… really, picking up a call from me, I’m so thankful–! But would you like to go out for a drink tonight?”

          AH . . .  NEVER,  IN HER LIFETIME,  did she have expect a phone call from him  ( had causing a scene at the cafe not been ENOUGH?  and ─  hey!  how did he get her number anyway?? ).  she surprises herself by answering,  and almost immediately regrets it.

“ . . . drinking? ”  she deadpans as the echos the request ;  questions flood her mind.  he can’t be serious.  maki can’t decide if he’s brave or stupid.  and why ask HER of all people?  she REALLY SHOULDN’T accept.  just hang up the damned phone and move on! 

. . .  but perhaps it’s the boredom.  with no looming killing game over her head or jobs,  maki’s bored.  she sighs.  this is stupid,  she tells herself.  but she’s standing,  slipping shoes on ─

“ fine.  but ONLY because i have nothing better to do.  i’ll leave when i want and you’re buying.  i’ll be outside.  if you’re not there soon,  i’m going back to my room. ”  she states while sliding into her shoes and heading down.  at LEAST they live in the same complex. 

she hopes she doesn’t regret this choice. 

[iunsei-moved]

maki looks good in my new dress ♡♡

[harxmaki]

( SAIHARA ;  ALLY. // investargation )

@harxmaki wanted a starter!

“Harukawa-san!”

He catches a glimpse of her turning a corner down the hallway, and he’s after her in an instant. Finally, a face he knows that isn’t someone back from the grave. He’d just seen her not too long before he arrived here– or at least, that’s what his admittedly still rather hazy memories are telling him. How long ago even was that by now? Maybe it was longer ago than he thinks; it’s hard to get a clear picture while he’s still trying to make sense of it all.

But it doesn’t matter. He’s so relieved to see her that he can push all that aside for right now. It might not actually be the best idea for him to go running up behind an assassin, but they’re pretty much friends, right? Hopefully she’ll go easy on him.

          IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE FAMILIAR voice preceding the flurry of footsteps that suddenly came from behind ;  maki would have surely reacted defensively out of instinct.  but she KNOWS that voice.  maki stops in her tracks and immediately turns.  relief is the first thing she feels and then ─  is that a sense of JOY? 

❝ saihara,  you. . . ❞ she’s at a loss for words.  she’s got so many questions and it’s been so long ─  she’d been starting to lose hope that she’d ever see him again -... maki collects herself with a slow inhale,  ❝ you shouldn’t sneak up on me like that.  i might kill you. ❞  despite the dark words,  there’s the faintest of smiles upon her expression.  but soon,  a more serious expression takes it’s place.

❝ it’s...  been a while.  how did you end up here? ❞

[harxmaki]

( lilactheories )

@harxmaki liked this {x} for a starter!!

The detective had taken to walking the streets. She was familiarizing herself with the area while simultaneously looking for anything out of the ordinary. Kyouko hadn’t yet bothered with most of the people. That would be necessary at some point, but for the time being it would only be a hindrance. Regardless, nothing struck her as odd. But she wasn’t satisfied with this deduction. She’d continue her search.

She’d taken note of a piercing gaze a few moments ago. She knew she was being watched, but chose to pay it no mind. At least until she was finished with her notes. Lavender eyes rose to meet red ones. Her expression remained undaunted as she studied the girl. A girl close in age to herself.

“If you have something to say, then say it.”

          THE STARING HADN’T BEEN INTENTIONAL.  it’s quite hypocritical,  in fact,  considering how much maki hates it when people stare at HER.  but she just can’t shake the feeling of RECOGNITION upon viewing lavender locks.  it’s the same,  strange deja - vu sensation she felt when meeting with another familiar face. 

another hope’s peak student . . . ?  would it even be worth her time to find out..?

she can’t think long before she’s been confronted.  fantastic.  she silently curses herself but her expression remains flat and unemotional.  she looks up to meet the other’s gaze.  she’s seen that look before ;  that analytical stare.  the eyes of someone cunning ;  thinking. 

❝ i’ve got nothing to say to you. ❞  she replies instinctively,  but soon realizes how wrong the statement is.  she’s got lots.  ❝ you look familiar,  is all.  nothing important. ❞

[harxmaki]

( ROOMMATE. // arriveetta )

     ☆ ( There was a star that danced…

     “Oh dear…this isn’t good…”

     It’s not like she expected everything would go smoothly here (really, when did everything in life go smoothly) she just didn’t really expect for this to happen. Really, both the washing machine and the dish washer had to break on her (and her roommate of course but she hasn’t seen them at all since they’ve arrived).

     Well, for sure their living arrangements have suddenly become a bit more watery than she would’ve liked. She’s called the project to let them know and they’ll take care of the damages and cleanup, but it’s up to them to find new appliances. They’ll cover the cost, they just need to pick them out.

     She probably shouldn’t do this alone, should she? Plus it would be a good change for her and her roomamate to get to know each other.

     Having changed out of her soaked clothes and into dry ones, Alyssa heads to the other room in the apartment and knocks on the door to hopefully get her roommates’ attention. The door opens and she’s greeted by a girl around her age.

     She gives what she hopes is a friendly smile before speaking. “I know this is probably not the best way to greet you, but our washer and dish washer broke and while they’ll be replaced, we need to go pick them out. Would you like to come with me to do so?”

                                                                           and it danced it’s way into @harxmaki‘s path.☆ )

          THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF THE city’s  ‘ pairing - project ’  is quite ridiculous.  but,  hey,  at least it’s no killing game ??  though the school at least didn’t make her share a LIVING SPACE with someone.  maki was NOT a fan of it.  forced into some strange city?  from one stupid project to another?  AND sharing the space with someone else?  maki can’t quite say she’s all too thrilled about the city’s idea of a project.  ANNOYING !!!

thus,  she hasn’t been too keen on interactions.  or,  rather,  she doesn’t quite know how.  the whole idea of of meeting people and maintaining a friendship outside the orphanage is still rather new,  so living with someone completely unknown to her is absolutely foreign. 

so when said roommate walks into her room unexpectedly,  maki’s eyes narrow.  she resists the initial urge to simply dismiss her roommate and tell her to take care of it herself ─  old maki would surely would have done so ─  but she takes a moment of silence instead.  the appliances?  maki sighs.  she’d hardly touched them since arriving but her roommate seems keen to have them.  at the very least,  she handled the phone calls...

maki sighs.  what’s she got to lose,  anyway?

❝ fine.  but something simple. ❞  she says,  ❝ i don’t want to have a big ordeal over this. ❞  it’s not an outward attempt to be RUDE,  so it’s a start,  right?  maki follows alyssa out,  eyes befalling the broken machines.  

❝ they force us to live here,  and can’t even give us properly working machines?  incredible. ❞  maki scoffs ─  in a bit of relaxed sarcasm? 

maybe things can go well...

[harxmaki]

( ???. // pyrolysiis )

→ @harxmaki

     The stranger dressed in a dull red with long hair trailing behind in pigtails was definitely interesting. Appearance-wise, she looked nothing more than a regular teenager; personality-wise — only from the first impression she gave off — she was quiet and cold, and there was something akin to familiarity in practiced movements and expressions. But Dabi’s attention was mostly captured by the bad air around her that’s tainted with the scent of … ( dare he say )                                                                                                                         G O O D N E S S .

Eyes narrowed, he only wordlessly stared … and silently scrutinized her.

          SHE CAN FEEL HERSELF BEING watched and she ABSOLUTELY despises it.  usually one to try her best to stay BLENDED IN,  maki quite loaths the way those eyes linger ─  analyzing,  even.  she makes her best attempt to ignore it ─  the person ( ? ) in question HARDLY looking worth her time.  but as the stares continue on,  irritation grows.

❝ is there a PROBLEM? ❞  eyes narrow as she gets a closer look.  he appears to be someone dressing a little too early for halloween.  or,  looking the part of a freak show.  ❝ or do you just like to stare at others?  i guess between all the city is doing for the murders,  they don’t have time to deal with lowlifes. ❞

yea, her words are DRENCHED in sarcasm.  nice.

[harxmaki]

( ???. // okusawatxt )

     ❮ ♪ ❯ so there was one – which, she didn’t look for it good enough, she supposed to miss it when it was at the shopping center. which, of course, was a tremendous relief at her part just knowing one was easily accessible in this town. whether it was big enough or not, she wouldn’t know until she finally stepped inside the store itself but if they regularly add new collection to their store then she would settle with it. it wasn’t as if she had a choice whether she could be picky right now.

     ❛ would you mind if i come along ? i’m still new around here & well… it’d be a pain if i got lost myself… ‘ even though her sense of direction was not terrible to begin with, but she at least knew that having someone that knew the landscape better would help her get used to the streets easier. & well, it’s not like she has any other choice at this point – better lower yourself a little instead of getting embarrassed at yourself later on.

     though she did wonder…  ❛ is there something you’re looking for there ? ‘ a pause before a shrug.  ❛ never mind that, you don’t need to tell me about it. ‘ she didn’t want to look like she was such a busybody by asking too much question. even if the other didn’t exactly look like she played any instrument but alas, who was she to even make such an assumption in the first place. it wasn’t exactly her business to pry into other people’s matter. ❛ ah. i’m okusawa misaki. ‘ & she didn’t want to look rude not introducing herself to another.

           SHE’S HARDLY SURPRISED WHEN SHE receives such a response.  in all honesty,  she would have POSSIBLY wanted to offer in the first place. . .  but maki’s only JUST begun to interact with others ─  it’s definitely NOT her strong point.  she almost thinks it was easier when she simply didn’t care about others,  but...  things have changed -  DRASTICALLY -  and she can’t seem to bring herself to ignore the small itch for interaction ever since she’s made some friends...  so she nods,  and begins to walk in the direction of the store. 

❝ it’s not far. ❞  she says without much emotion in it ─  she’s still awkward with people,  but she really doesn’t mind too much.  besides,  the stranger seems quiet and collected.  maki can appreciate that.  maroon hues spare a surprised glance when she’s asked of her own endeavors.  she debates whether she should reply or not.  it feels a bit odd declaring things to a stranger,  but...  perhaps it can’t hurt?

❝ i’m looking for something. . .  for someone else.  she’s a pianist.  i’m only going because i’m in the area,  though. ❞  maki confesses,  shrugging as if it’s no big deal.  really,  she has to wonder what HAS prompted her to go out of her way.  she’s not much for giving gifts ─  the most she’s done is passed homemade gifts to kids in the orphanage and,  really,  only out of obligation.  so... why? 

❝ misaki?  i’m maki harukawa. ❞   she introduces and it’s a bit more casual than she’s used to.  nice to meet you?  maki’s not sure what else to say,  really.  but,  luckily,  she doesn’t have to fret long because the tucked away music store is just a few doors down.  tucked away,  easy to miss if one doesn’t know what they’re looking for.  maki can see why she missed it.

❝ i can’t really help you inside,  though.  i don’t know a lot about music,  but i’m assuming you do,  since you’re coming here on purpose. ❞

[valkyurie]

HARUKAWA THE FORBIDDEN ONE!

[harxmaki]

( SUSPECT. //  kowoma )

“Wow- your killing intent– your determination… that’s impressive! If you’ve been on the island that I had been… would things have changed?”

if that composure is only held together by a thread– snip snip. komaeda seems intent on cutting it to pieces, every single word and behaviour a pair of scissors that snapped at her patience, testing how far he could go. oh, not that he’s trying your patience on purpose – his words sound like they’re meant as compliments – and in komaeda’s mind, it probably is. 

all the threats are poison darts that go over his head – really, his whole being seems to be saying, you could just kill him and he would not give a damn. his luck would win out, anyway. a hellish guardian angel it was, one komaeda never asked for – making sure things turned out the way he’d desired; only requesting payment in misery and despair from others around him. 

his whole existence is fragile, on the verge of toppling; one wrong push and he’d be ready to give up his life for whatever it took to get hope again; but perhaps his still beating heart, life, was telling him that he was worthless to even think about such actions. of course his luck wouldn’t grant such a pipe dream… he should have known. 

… the smallest– smallest part of him pipes up that he did wish to come back alive – but it wasn’t this. the hope that his death had fostered – if he came back due to his own luck, then, what was the point? this wasn’t the hope he’d wished to see– to come alive to, or to worship, kneeling at the alter his whole life with his neck on the guillotine, asking it to take his life, please, anything for it–

                                                        he’d do anything to see his friends again.

regardless.

here are the things he needs to know. 

is this city for hope?

he’d chalked his being here to bad luck– but was good luck on the way? there’s no doubt that this girl in front of him was talented – and ultimate or not, komaeda was drawn to it, anyway. even ultimates could use their talents for the wrong purpose, and in that case, other talented people had to step up to the bat… even if it might not be enough, and even then well, they could be a stepping stone!

“Haha, did I insult you..? You’re completely right, normally I’d know my place, but I really do think getting our identities out in the air would be beneficial. I’m in the same boat as you are… just with a worthless talent. Have you considered the fact that I need to fear for my life as much as you do? What if you’re with the enemy? What if one wrong word, and I’ll be dead again? ”

he still seems overly pleasant, and his words take a tone of straightforward honesty, pleading to logic; truths, after all, were the way to hope, to overcome despair… even truths that were hard to face, had to be swallowed down if one wanted to walk on the path of true hope. 

( … hinata-kun … where were you now? )

“Considering you do know who Monokuma is,” and he notes that she’d mentioned him in the singular, and in relation to a killing game– “I’m not sure why I should trust you as well. You seem oddly keen on trying to link me to Hope’s Peak– did that academy do something to you?”

picking up on the nuances, the unsteadiness, and her whole behaviour; picking apart people is part of komaeda’s modus operandi, and he apparently decides to use it now. truth bullets line up in his head, one by one – she knew about a killing game, but she didn’t know about him. she also questioned how he knew about the ultimates, when such information was public domain– everyone knew hope’s peak and their students. she can’t be from the first killing game,  in that case… and his hazy memories of the hope’s peak file had no one that had looked like her. 

… the ultimate gambler? 

… no.

… maybe?

the fact that she was demanding information from him just showed that he was in a situation where he had things that could be leveraged; his presence in the city was something new to her, something different– something to demand answers out of. but just what was the information she wanted…? and why? 

“Hope’s Peak is pretty infamous in our world, you know. Especially after that incident… you should know this. Have you considered that I might have just been just drawing it because of that? Everyone should know what the logo looks like.” 

           FRUSTRATION CONTINUES TO BUILD ;  IT threatens to shatter what remaining composure she clings to that the stranger seems to be trying SO HARD to break.  there’s always the minor chance that his backwards,  PROVOCATIVE comments aren’t intended as such.  he’s a STRANGER,  of course,  maki doesn’t know a damned thing about him or his true nature.  the anomaly before her could be described with many words,  and yet she can’t seem to settle on just one.   confident,  or stupid?  defiant,  or clueless?  her mind tinkers with various comparisons in an attempt to draw SOME kind of conclusion about who this person is but she’s only coming up with BLANKS.

she forces herself to retain calmness.  oh,  the irony.  he couldn’t POSSIBLY know her true nature,  yet he’s fitted her intentions with a specific choice word...  BREATHE,  maki!  if ONLY she could just dismiss his seemingly nonsensical words as a waste of her time and move on ─  unfortunately,  while there’s a distinct lack of a direct answer to her DEMANDS inquiries,  his twisted words have only piqued her desire for clarity even more. 

instincts scream that this encounter is important.  there’s no coincidence that his specific wording feels so odd,  or that she’s CERTAIN he’s familiar.  so she can’t accept he was simply doodling for fun ─  not here,  not in this city.  not when she’s still SO UNSURE of everything and everyone around her.  at least, that’s how she mentally bargains with herself to justify her strong reaction. and so she draws in a deep, controlled breath. slowly, maki lowers herself into the seat opposite of him. she’s already discovered how INEFFECTIVE forcing information out of someone through intimidation is ─  this isn’t a JOB. 

it’s an entirely new GAME,  and she’s to play it with logic and a clear mind.  how foolish of her to get so worked up.  but,  hey,  wouldn’t be the first time she’s snapped on impulse.  she takes mental note of certain things that catch her attention :  island,  the fact that her pairs ‘dead’ and ‘again’,  and what’s with this worthless talent talk?  he seems FAR too cheery for the thing he’s saying.

she takes a few moments to herself before finally speaking up again. 

❝ maki harukawa, ❞  she finally provides, her expression transitioning into indifference.  it’s useless not to comply and,  truthfully,  what BAD could it do to reveal her name?  ❝ ultimate child caregiver. SATISFIED? ❞  okay, maybe that was too much ;  she’s not exactly lying but she refuses to give him the full truth of her title.  there’s NO REASON he needs to know.  she can feel herself being observed ─   not too different from how closely she watches people of interest.  she can’t afford to falter now ;  she figures she’ll find out just how good he is soon enough. 

❝ you say you can’t trust me due to my own knowledge of monokuma, ❞  she begins,  ❝ yet you display him so casually and freely. you’re certainly not in a place to suggest the suspicion falls elsewhere. ❞  while her tone remains controlled,  it attempts to hides venom,  the venom that ignited her outburst just moments ago.  is this what they call a STALEMATE?

for a mere moment,  her facade falters.  “OUR WORLD”.  the sickening idea that reality is SOMEHOW warped even more than she suspected has her on edge ─  and the idea seems to grow more logical the further she thinks about it.  the impossible becoming possible.

maki forces an indifferent expression once more.

❝ and just what is OUR WORLD, exactly? ❞  her eyes narrow, brows pinching together.  the incident he’s referring to, is she correct in assuming..?  ❝ you can’t possibly have supported such a THING, ❞  her words slow.  she REFUSES to accept a reality in which the mastermind had spoken the truth,  ❝ either that, or you’re... ❞

it clicks.  the reason why familiarity’s presence had been so powerful.

the start of it all.  the mastermind’s many faces of previous killing games ─  the profiles,  the ever-changing personas.  THE OTHER CHARACTERS.  just where did he fit in with it all? 

❝ just who are you and how do you fit in with danganronpa? ❞  and there it is ─  aggression rising,  demanding to know more.  just how much will this encounter reveal?  will she FINALLY get more answers?  

maki’s thoughts whirl but she can do nothing more than wait for his response. 

[harxmaki]

( ???. // okusawatxt )

     ❮ ♪ ❯ ❛ still no music store, huh. guess they don’t just have it here. ‘ granted, she had yet to actually venture through the whole town to locate one but she had assumed that one would be easy to find. she did want to see if there was anything of interest unlike where she usually visited that would catch her attention but frankly, the failed search was starting to make her lose interest. looks like it can’t really be helped there’s no place as such around. though it was still going to be something she’s going to be constantly disappointed on the long run.  ❙ @harxmaki​  ♩ s c.

         SHE HAS TO WONDER WHAT has caused her to care so much.  since when has she felt the need to present someone with a GIFT?  the kids at the orphanage were one thing ─  she couldn’t exactly avoid that.  but whatever has compelled her to stray away from her usual shopping route to make a quick stop at the music store is beyond her.  what do people even GET for musicians anyway?  maki isn’t sure,  she’s already resigned to the fact that she’s jsut taking a peak,  nothing more.

she happens to overhear the girl by CHANCE.  it’s none of maki’s business and ,  quite frankly ,  she could move on and remain unaffected.  but an unknown compulsion has her pausing besides the stranger.  she waits a few moments,  and sighs. 

❝ you want a music shop? there’s one in the shopping center, not far from here. i’m headed there now. ❞  she says the words with indifference ;  not rudely,  but not actively engaged.  not a direct invitation to be accompanied ─  no,  maki’s still feeling a bit to reclusive to invite a stranger somewhere ─  but not denying the company either,  should she want the guide. 

[lukas-musings]

          Your 𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕕 on my 🇧​🇱​🇦​🇩​🇪​                           is the 🇴​🇳​🇱​🇾​ ᴀᴘᴏʟᴏɢʏ I will take

[harxmaki]

( KAEDE // @pianistxt )

        SLENDER DIGITS TUG AT THE wrapping of the yukata adoring her frame.  the sounds and sights of festivities surround her,  overwhelming her senses and bringing about second thoughts.  why’s she here again?  oh, right.  SHE’D asked her to go shortly after the festival;s announcement.  if anyone else had asked,  the answer would have been a simple “no”.  but, for whatever reason,  maki just couldn’t bring herself to say no to kaede akamatsu. 

maybe she felt compelled to as means of making up for what had happened during the killing game.  or...  just maybe,  maki’s slowly opening herself up to the idea of friends.  either way,  she’s HERE,  positioned at kaede’s side wearing an outfit that’s fancier than her usual attire and surrounded by a plethora of people that seem FAR too cheery for their own good.  but she reminds herself that this is the first festival she’s attending for fun ─  the first thing she’s doing simply for fun in a VERY long time.

she might as well TRY.

she scans the area.  people play games for prizes,  many that look like the toys her and the older kids created at the orphanage.  there’s food everywhere,  meals she hasn’t even tried ( but nothing compared to what tojo could create, though ),  and countless other booths to look at. maki draws in a breath,  finally turning to her companion with wary eyes.

❝ well,  the festival certainly doesn’t lack popularity. ❞  she says,  ❝  these people like their festivities, i guess. ❞  a shrug ─  she’s not quite sure how to approach conversation.  the only leisure time she’s experienced is training,  and that was under...  vastly different circumstances. 

❝ so, you’re the one that wanted to come to this. what exactly do you want to do? ❞

[harxmaki]

❝ ... ❞

❝ ... just when you think you can’t be anymore disappointed in a city. ❞

[mamenoco]

Queen Judith of Hearts Maki(Alice in wonderland AU)

[harxmaki]

AKAMATSU.

     ‘You didn’t kill Amami. It was the mastermind.’

     At those words, she stops dead in her tracks. She didn’t kill Amami? But… that wasn’t possible, right? After all, Saihara had proved it was her, she set up the trap in the library, she threw the shot put into the vent and it was supposed to land on the mastermind’s head and kill them, but Amami got caught in her trap instead.

     She had accepted her guilt once she saw his body in the library. But now?

     What was she even supposed to be thinking now? Here she was, having all this guilt about killing one of her friends and now… she didn’t even do it. What did all of that even mean now, if it was the truth? That she had harbored all of this guilt for nothing? That she had died for nothing?

     Then it hits her.

     If was Harukawa said was true, then she died, was executed, for no reason at all. Her death meant nothing.

     Something in her snaps, much like what caused her to set up the trap that lead to Amami’s death, and her meaningless death. The mastermind was the culprit of that, much like she had thought before it was apparent they weren’t going to show themselves. (then again, she accepted from the beginning it was her fault, but she still clung to that hope it was the mastermind after all). And they had used the trap she and Saihara set up to their advantage.

     Yet here Harukawa is, apologizing to her? How could any of them, at that time known it was the mastermind, especially when it was clear it was her. Then again, she knew it was her from the beginning.

     “Hey, it’s not your fault you know? We all thought it was mine at the time, but it seems that’s not the case anymore, is it?” Her eyes cast downwards briefly, before moving back upwards to look her in the eye. It might not be in her place to try and comfort the other girl, but she can’t help but want to. Hesitantly, she extends a hand outwards and places it on her shoulder, in what she hopes is a comforting matter, with a small smile on her face.

     “Remember? I accepted my guilt at the time, so it’s not anyone’s fault but mine. After all, I set up the trap, and the mastermind just happened to take advantage of it. Please, don’t blame yourself for something that happened that you didn’t do.”

     There’s a question that burns at her since she mentioned it, and she wants to, no, needs to know. Needs to know just who betrayed them all, just who was responsible for all their suffering, and just who was responsible for her death. Her expression darkens, but even if it’s cruel to know who it was, she just has to know.

     “I know it’s probably not in my place to ask but…I need to know. Who was it? Who was the mastermind, the one that caused everything that happened to us? Who…was the person responsible for my death?” She knows it’s probably painful, but she wants to know. Who deceived them all, and only had three of the sixteen of them alive at the end.

           SHE’S HARDLY SURPRISED WHEN AKAMATSU has to stop to, she guesses, process the information she’s given. maki stops as well, showing no signs of impatience or frustration. it’s hard to tell how the pianist is handling all the information and it occurs to her just how SHORT the time she spent with akamatsu was ( or, rather, how limited their interactions had been, given maki’s own distant and distrusting nature ) and how little she knows about her. 

she remembers her determination and positivity. the optimism akamatsu had shown even when maki fronted her poor and distanced attitude. her persistent nature that held everyone together despite their circumstances until her end. at the time, maki hadn’t felt much for the girl’s loss. but reflecting on it now─ is it appreciation that she feels? maybe she felt it back then, too, but had yet to fully recognize the weight of the emotion. maki wonders if things would have been different should akamatsu have survived. 

and then there was the video. the damned audition tapes. akamatsu had been SO DIFFERENT. the horrifying, so-called “reality” that had been the tapes was far different than the akamatsu maki remembers. a stir of frustration flares up within her─ there is absolutely NO WAY the tapes had been legitimate. maki refuses to believe the kind, persistent girl standing in front of her is the same she saw in the tape─ just as the others. 

...since when has she cared so much? 

thoughts vanish as akamatsu speaks. maki’s eyes widen in response─ there’s no anger in her tone. nothing but understanding and, unsurprisingly, the kind and gentle tone that akamatsu had spoke with until she parted. initially, maki stiffens at the contact. but she doesn’t pull away ; instead she watches akamatsu. watches her expression and mannerisms. once more, she finds a newfound anger at the stupid game and it’s mastermind for forcing such a gentle person into such a cruel fate. in a way, akamatsu reminds her of here friend, back at the orphanage...

maybe feeling sympathy was worse than feeling detached, after all. 

❝ ... why aren’t you angry? ❞ maki questions with narrowed eyes, ❝ we condemned you to execution, whether you set up the trap or not. how can you forgive so easily..? ❞ she wavers, tone almost SAD. a rarity for the cold-blooded assassin. for so long it had been so easy to forgo these feelings of guilt to survive─ but now? now it is ever-present among the anger and vexations she feels. 

maki finally looks away at the question asked. it’s a fair question, of course. maki can’t blame her for wanting to know and, frankly, she’s every right to know. a new emotion sharpens her gaze: hatred. maki’s hands ball into fists at her sides, eyes darkening. she has no conflict answering this one.

❝ shirogane. there was a hidden passageway in the bathroom that she had taken advantage of. saihara figured it out through the pictures that you two took. she set everything up. she was running it the whole time, altering our memories, watching it all play out... ❞ venom seeps into her tone the more she speaks. composure wears thin just thinking about it all. 

❝ and if she ever─ EVER─ shows her face here? it will be the last breath she  takes. i won’t let her hurt anyone again. ❞

[harxmaki]

LETTERS FORGOTTEN.                         ( until now! )

          LAKEVIEW LOFTS AND THE PUBLIC opening of the island she’d been stranded upon with two friends ( or: one friend & a new ally? ) ─ survival had been the outcome and yet the location carries along with it a SOUR NOTE. to see it in a positive light has maki feeling a bit miffed about it all ; though she tries to tell herself that it’s silly and, in hindsight, has little to no effect on her. but that’s H A R D L Y the main reason the article draws her attention. sure ─ it’s a bit of an annoyance to see residents FLOCKING to visit the island but that can be amounted to her own negative experiences. 

what REALLY draws her attention is the memory of the so-called “”prize”” that followed their return: LETTERS FROM HOME. 

she hadn’t believe it at first. immediately, the letters had been tossed aside ; cast away. there were far too many oddities surrounding the city and with doubt tugging at the reigns, maki had ABSOLUTELY NO reason to trust that these letters from home were even legit. who’s to say they weren’t fabricated by the city as means to mislead? to manipulate? she had wagered with herself that opening the letters could give her hints to the people behind the city of koi but ultimately decided it was futile─ nothing worth her time. 

or... could there have been M O R E?

to think the girl who’d been raised so detached and cold could be put off by the detrimental hope that her classmates’ names would show up ; an impossible feat, surely, but since when had this place abided to the realm of possibilities? how pathetic she’d been to debate such things. turmoil between wanting to believe or not facing reality ( ??? was it? ) had prolonged the decision and the latter won out. 

because, beyond her outer shell, maki is merely another lost soul with a hefty burden of emotions she’d yet to overcome ─ simply because she’d had no reason to before. facing death? easy. solving a murder between classmates? doable. facing the past that haunted her─ one that might not even be legit─ under the premise that the city was AWARDING them? LAUGHABLE. 

but it’s been a while. maki’s had time to adjust ─ make amends, or, the start of so─ and accept her new reality for what it is. she finds herself drawn to the letters once more ( if she’d been so intent on not reading them─ why’d she keep them? hope? the knowledge that she’d be able to face it ONE DAY? ) after memories of the island had been renewed. 

it’s almost as if her body acts on subconscious desires. she’s gone from “no way, it’s useless” to “maybe...” on perhaps a level she’s yet to fully realize. she bears her usual indifferent expression in the privacy of her room as she opens the letters, telling herself that it’s nothing more than what it had been when she first received them....

a multitude of papers spill to ground.

pictures. colorful pictures with short notes written in crayon in staggered, imperfect and flawed handwriting. broken grammar that reflects their ages but displays the amount of love and effort that had gone into the notes directed at her. these letters aren’t from her classmates ( like she figured they would be, IF they were legit─ )...

they’re from her kids at the orphanage. 

‘ maki-san! we miss you! ‘ 

‘ maki-chan, are you coming home soon? ‘

‘ maki! i did my own laudry for the first time today! ‘

‘ we built new toys for the younger kids today, here’s what we made... ‘

she takes her time with each and every letter. she’s easily able to match scribbled names to faces. some, the older kids had written in place of the younger kids, others needed to be deciphered more carefully─ those were the younger kids just learning to write─ but they were all from her kids no less. 

she doesn’t realize she’s crying until tears fall onto the paper in her hands. a choked sob breaks the silence in the room. from the beginning, she’d been so determined to keep these kids safe, as much as she’d avoid admitting it. the reason behind her actions─ why she couldn’t give up. she had always known her feelings for the kids were REAL and very important to her. but perhaps it was the cold and harsh detachment she was raised to feel that prevented her from TRULY REALIZING this all along. after everything she’s been through, after being so forcefully torn from people she LOVES and CHERISHES─

maki can finally breathe. she can face her true emotions and realize she’s NOT the heartless monster she was SUPPOSED to be. emotions that had been suppressed for so long can FINALLY be accepted...

hadn’t she known all along?

tears are vigorously wiped away onto her sleeve ; a breath to steady herself and then, despite everything, maki smiles. the papers are stored neatly in her nightstand where they will remain ; because they’re a inspiration anew. something to believe in. the people most precious to her. 

and above all else? proof that what she felt has been real all along.

and she’s never about to let that go EVER AGAIN.