tell me i'm a good boi

been. they/them.

[turing-tested]

this wedding played Kiss Kiss Fall in Love as the bride was walking down the aisle

[turing-tested]

this was the bride :)

[roadtonothing]

[straightpeoplereceipts]

queer housing groups are a great place to meet people you would never, under any circumstances, want to live with.

[straightpeoplereceipts]

queer housing groups are like:

“hi manhattan folx. we are both fresh out of school and looking to split rent 3/4s* with one (1) quiet femme roommate. wed prefer to live with someone who is not greek, cannot practice martial arts and was recently fired from their job.

we are looking for a quiet person because it is a MUST that you do not ever speak to my partner due to his inability to behave normally. if you need trouble him, you will pass messages beneath our bedroom door at precisely 3am on sundays only.

you mightve heard about us from our previous roommate, moon. she will be posting in various local groups saying we sold her ferret on craigslist. please PM me for more details.

we are looking for some who

is not mentally ill

is not disabled

will not be seen or heard

does not have friends

will wash dishes for us

you would be living in a cardboard box in our living room. we have a washing machine and dryer but ask that you do not use it, instead going to the laundromat down the street and matching whatever you paid them to pay us as well.

we are both lawyers but one of us roams the streets at night wearing a mask with horns and performing vigilante justice. you must be able to perform first aid at all hours. (and of course comfy doing this xo.)

people with leopard geckos and capricorns need not apply.

*as in you pay ¾ of the rent.”

i think this is the least appealing local queer housing post i’ve ever personally seen, but a close second was the one with a communal household sex dungeon in the laundry room

got multiple dms asking for evidence of the sex dungeon post so here you go

[mr-elementle]

[schizm-deactivated]

my roomates hate eachother why do they sleep in the same bed and give eachother goodnight kisses/handjobs

you will never understand a warrior's bond

[figmentof]

This, whatever it is that you’ve become… is a fate worse than death.

[only-tiktoks]

[coldtofire]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJsMrwMo/

[ladylike-foxes]

[ms-demeanor]

@shabbytigers

[roses--and--rue]

These enamel earrings in the shape of hands hold pieces of shrapnel removed from the eye and forehead of Denmark’s King Christian IV after he was wounded in battle. He gave the earrings to his mistress. 

[lastvalyrian]

People are always talking about making John Green say “I love cocks” when it comes to having fun with tumblr’s ability to edit everyone’s posts but that one post where that person was saying fuckers and it got repeatedly edited to fudgers and meaners was 10000% funnier

[cosmic-aria]

This one?:

[goldturnedgray]

#none of this reaches the level of one time when staff made a post about a website update #and someone deleted the whole post and instead wrote #Were Deleting This Website Sayonara You Weeaboo Shits #i think about that literally every day its been ten years #every night i think to myself Sayonara you weeaboo shits (@cryptovocel) 

[katco-cereal]

[1-800-blurambles]

here u go 

[vermillion-tones]

choclay ornage is also pretty high up there

[pheygele]

this is one of my favorites for sure

[courtnashe]

Back when this site truly was lawless.

[formerlymaustown]

[kinseyscottage]

source

[everythingfox]

little potate

[swaglexander-the-great]

plap

[follettina1111111111]

"Feet" of lizards

[jalapeepo]

[contemporary-art-blog]

Jim Hodges

[gravityshift]

Old cottage built into the canyon wall. Monticello, Utah.

[unholyverse]

if i got stigmata i would not devote my life to god and simply carry on as usual. so what there’s holes in my wrists. it’s a tuesday.

[smatter-deactivated20220909]

the CDC said we get to sleep in an extra hour together in the morning while I big spoon you and lightly touch your chest