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Kirk/Spock
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Depression on main
Another drawing, this one of TOS Spock! I have to say this is probably one of the hardest angles to draw someone's face from, especially when you only have like 3 blurry pictures to look at for reference. All things considered, I think I did pretty well.
I don't honestly know what Spock's collar-thing is supposed to be -- something about it just worked, especially with the very simple cape that he's wearing underneath. Maybe it's traditional decoration for some planet the Enterprise is visiting. Maybe it's a way of indicating a lesser status on pre-reform Vulcan. Maybe Spock has been taken captive by a dangerous enemy and the collar prevents him from using his telepathy. Whatever the reason, he is enduring it with his usual grace and calm.
leonard mccoy literally carried spock's soul around. sometimes i remember and think about this, like REALLY think about it. they were together in his head. spock mind melded with him and said, remember, and put his katra in him. bones walked around with spock's soul in himself. talking about "not logical" and trying to do the vulcan pinch on someone and talking on spock's voice and whatever else. "how are we doing?" "how are WE doing? funny you should put it quite that way, jim. WE are doing fine". etc. he carried his soul. "i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)" etc etc. can anyone hear me
Reading The Motion Picture book adaptation and coming across that part with the half-page long footnote inspired me to draw this...
Version without text + more yapping under the cut ⇣⇣⇣
I like both versions so there lol, can't decide!!! Anyways onto the yapping:
WHO THE FUCK STARTS A FUCKING BOOK LIKE THIS I JUST SAT DOWN BTW 😭😭😭 (the creator of Star Trek actually)?!!?!?
Before reading this book I was fully aware what t'hy'la meant but like. to smack it in my face on the 2nd page is insane??????????
Also the fact that the book is written by the characters in universe too like???? HELP?????
And Kirk is the one who gives the final approval too, whatever the crew said and wrote down, Kirk read every detail and approved it. That leads into this infamous page, page 22, chapter 2:
I had to stare at this page for like. A couple minutes being bombarded with this insane footnote, I knew it was a thing but. holy shit reading the book normally and then coming across this monstrosity of a footnote is mind blowing (must've been when it was published back then too).
So, chapter 2 focuses on Spock, going through the final ceremony on Vulcan to complete the Kolinahr yeah? And he looks up at the sky, thinking of Earth, thinking of the memories he had there from Starfleet academy, his friends, his crew... saying goodbye and putting an end to that part of his life. Like full stop. THEN, he deliberately singles out Kirk, calls him by the nickname "Jim" which he rarely does unless in a particularly high stress/emotional situation in the show, calls Kirk his best friend/brother/lover and says goodbye forever since he's going to forget him/shut him out from his thoughts. (I will yap about the whole chapter later.)
Onto the insane footnote- seeing what it means, makes you wonder how did it go in universe writing this book (delusion):
Kirk: *reading the draft* Mr. Spock, is this necessary to be put into the book?
Spock: It is a truthful recount of my memories, Admiral, they are imperative to give context on my location and what I had gone through.
Kirk: And... you called me... that? *hopeful heart eyes stare up at Spock.* While you were thinking of me?
Spock: Yes. Yes I did. I consider you... very important to myself.
Kirk: *Sighs dreamily* And who says Vulcans aren't romantic...? *Gives Spock that cheesy dumb smile he does*
Also Kirk imo was 100% bluffing seeing his response like it's giving "I'm NOt gAY gUys, iT aIN't me-" he's def covering what is his actual relationship with Spock tho hahah
I like to think they got together after the movie... like damn... the scene in sickbay... Spock going through the mind meld and seeing that despite how knowledgeable V'ger is, it cannot comprehend feeling, "This simple feeling, is beyond V'ger's comprehension." This simple feeling... the side Spock wanted to erase so badly at the start of the movie. Feelings that he had been taught was weakness time and time again, but it was feelings that saved him. It was feelings that he has friends, it was feelings that he loved Jim. Like. Wow what a fucking line.
Onto the rest of the chapter, the "powerful entity" (V'ger) that Spock sensed, it scares him, and it catches him off guard because like. He was supposed to be in full Vulcan control of his emotions and was about to erase them right? He feels such an immense amount of shame as well, recognizing that he felt scared, he was concerned. He was frightened, for this friends, the humans. Those illogical, overly emotional humans. And what of them? What will happen to them if this entity were to harm them?
Spock tries to push his feelings down as usual and play them off, trying to concentrate but his mind doesn't quiet, he thinks about his not so nice past, being bullied on his own home planet in his childhood, going into Starfleet because he couldn't stand the xenophobia towards him, then wanting to prove to himself that he's the most Vulcan ever to have lived among the humans. His thoughts then lead to Kirk, once again, ''Spock, why fight so hard to be a part of only one world? Why not fight instead to be the best of both?" < very sweet words from Kirk, and even sweeter that Spock remembered them. Unfortunately Spock's thinking is interrupted by one of the Kolinahr masters and snaps him out of it. They ask Spock of the entity, that they can feel it too, and asks Spock what's it all about, but Spock just doesn't answer because his feelings of fear come rushing back to him, which induces a mind meld with T'sai. In which they both find Kirk's voice, his thoughts (OVER THEIR BOND!?!?? FROM GALAXIES AND PLANETS AWAY MIND YOU?!??! AND THEY HAVEN'T BEEN IN CONTACT FOR 2.5 YEARS?!?!?) :
"The Klingons weren't destroyed. It feels like
like they've become ''wall exhibits in Hell."
And jt's headed for Earth. Spock, I wish you
were here to help me understand."
Kirk thinking of Spock, a plea for help in a way, a longing, that one simple ask, so strong enough for Spock to receive it and kickstarts him into rushing over to get a shuttle and getting back on that bridge, with the crew, his friends, and Jim!!!
I'll shut up now, K/S is real that's all I can conclude fr.
Hi. I finally finished the Spirk comic set to Johnny Cash's Hurt I have been working on for a month. If you want to, please enjoy and leave some nice words :) thank you.
CW for: blood, self-harm, spoilers for anything TOS, death
HURT
There is a part 2! Please consider reblogging and reading the whole comic :)
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