I redownloaded tumblr today, it’s been several years. I figured it was fitting to write about my feelings here, when this blog was one of the most important things in my life about 10 years ago. Since I got the news of Liam’s death this morning, I’ve been in kind of a fog. One direction and the boys are not something I think about anymore, and haven’t for a long time. To see liam’s name and 1d back in the news like this in 2024 was not at all what I expected.
One direction, Liam Payne, was an integral part of my life from about the ages of 14 to 19. My life was absolutely consumed by one direction, admittedly, not in a very healthy way, but hey I was an angsty teen. They were the light during a time when I never thought I’d get out of darkness. It was lowkey crazy the hold they had over me, but I’ve always been a fan girl and I always will be.
This is the first time that an artist I really cared about, nearly worshipped has passed away. I feel a little silly with how it’s made me feel, but I just can’t believe that a vital part of my childhood is gone, just like that, and so tragically. I’m mourning my memories, the hours and hours I spent on this blog. The 5(?) concerts I went all around the country to see, the friends that I had met through fandom. The song lyrics, music, interviews, movies, all of the media that I was so obsessed with. Going to premieres of 1d concert movies. Waiting in line hours and hours for merch. I know Liam changed as a person since then, and I am not condoning any of his behavior. I still think it’s a tragic loss.
I just feel weird. I feel nostalgic, sad, shocked. Never did I think I would shed tears again over one direction since zayn left, but here I am. I hope the people who cared for him find peace. I dont really have anything else to say. This will definitely haunt me for a while.
andulkaphoto
yousharknotpass
2087
prguitarman
