@heavymetalharmonica - Tumblr Blog

Unus annus maid cafe

little brother has been intermittently texting me the weather alerts for towns called Gaylord and saying "hey watch out"

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

good evening tumblr! for the low low price of $4.20 i will give you a fact that will ruin your night!

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this was not my fact, and i am livid that it actually does make sense from an evolutionary standpoint (as it makes other male llamas sterile thus reducing competition). congratulations tumblr you have successfully ruined MY night

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the fact i was GOING to share, interestingly enough, also has to do with animal genitalia:

here is a photo of a blue whale penis mounted on a plaque, have a nice evening ♥

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#for $6.66 i will give you one awful Premium fact that is directly related to the whale penis fact but is actually so much worse

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pleasure doing business with ya. your fact is: the above photo was taking at the Icelandic Phallological Museum aka the

***MUSEUM OF PENISES***

which houses the world’s largest display of penises (most of them non-human). yes this is a real place that exists, and is a popular tourist destination. and yes, many of the…exhibits have been mounted on plaques, for reasons best left unexplored

oh! here is a non-dehydrated blue whale. fun fact: the first photo was “just the tip!”

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#and for one final payment of $6.66 i will give you ONE LAST BUT BY FAR THE MOST HORRENDOUS FACT about blue whale penises#much worse than the fact that a penis museum exists and has multiple whale penises on display

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and here is your final Awful and Horrendous Whale Penis Fact:

whale penises were probably mistaken for sea monsters

nope, i’m not kidding. wish i was. whale penises do indeed very much resemble giant monstrous tentacles when spotted in the wild. at least some “sea monsters” sightings were probably just…whale boners. which i hate. i hate that so much.

and because today wasn’t bad enough: here is a sperm whale penis!