(pretend i wrote something funny here)

Im Alex from canada

[bob-belcher]

[kasael-deactivated20250929]

Who the fuck names horses

[aquiraxuno]

[villiago-deactivated20141112]

[2-shane-s]

Date someone who will date you

[methfall]

Need me a freak like that

[buzzfeed]

[woodmeat]

all the spam bots dming me for bit-loans

[bitchycode]

roses are red, i’m going to bed

[felitomkinson]

#violets are blue #damn bitch me too

[yoonswife]

i love myself but i dont love me back

[ripptidez-deactivated20170530]

i have never ever related to anything so fucking hard

[ciphergem]

While you were at elf practice I studied the blade

[pinknegg]

[kavesinisukka]

English: It fits like a glove. Spanish: It fits like a ring on the finger. Italian: It fits like shoes painted on with a brush.

Finnish: It fits like  a . FiST.   iN.   the  EYe .   (ง'̀-‘́)ง

[lovedroughts]

[metalhearted]

[pupsofficial-deactivated2014091]

hey babe *wraps you up in a blanket* i know today might have been hard for you *ruffles your hair* but you made it through the day *boops your nose* you’re doing such a good job *kisses your forehead* and i am so proud of you

[officialcrow]

i have a 6 year old cousin that would deadass slap u if u came to her with this sort of mess but there are people with double digit ages fucking with this

[hohokev-deactivated20220829]

u kno whats hecka dumb

when u outside w/ a girl and its cold as fuk and the girl goes “im cold”

like theres a reason im wearing a jacket. cus its cold as fuk. y u wearing a cardigan w/ holes all in it. this is your fault

im keepin my jacket

[homoz]

What up, I’m Jared, I’m 19, and I never fuckin learned how to

love

[thepleasuregoblin]

“Shapeshifting, but only once” is still one of the funniest concepts to me

[super-metroid]