So I've finally had my first visit with the bariatric surgeon and now it's time to really buckle down and get 200% serious.
First order of the day was to decide which surgery was right for me. I'd already narrowed it down between the sleeve and the bypass as the more I looked into it the more I couldn't see the lap band being right for me. The Lap Band is a purely restrictive surgery with slower weight loss which doesn't change anything about how much you can eat. Yes it should help you control your portions, but your stomach size doesn't change and it's a lot easier from everything I've read to get back into the old, bad habits. Plus I never liked the idea of having to go to a doctor's office to have it adjusted constantly, so I nixed it off my list.
I really liked the idea of the gastric sleeve because it provides a fair amount of weight loss (more than the band, less than the bypass) and doesn't re-route the intestines. I liked the idea of being able to get the restriction that I feel I need without having to worry about dumping or mal-absorption. However when I got to the office and was weighed I found that I was 465lbs with a BMI of 66 and while that could work for me at my weight, it wouldn't be as effective as the other option.
I also asked the surgeon about a Duodenal Switch. It is, from what I understand, the newest of the procedures and basically seems to be a gastric sleeve with some re-routing of the intestines to prevent as much caloric absorption. I liked the idea that the pyloric valve (that is the valve that controls when food is dumped into the small intestines, the absence of which is why dumping syndrome can be a problem after a bypass) would still be intact, so no dumping syndrome! The problem comes in that because so much of the intestines are bypassed with this method, the malabsorption problem is MUCH more severe for DS patients as opposed to RnY patients. After talking with my surgeon about that as an option and setting down all the facts with him, he felt that the extra weight loss I would get quicker from it wouldn't be worth the much higher risk of deficiencies I would deal with the rest of my life.
And so it came down to the bypass. I have been very on the fence about the bypass. I mean on one hand it is the gold standard, -the- way to go and the baseline to compare against for bariatric surgery. It's kind of the go-to guy of bariatric surgeries, so the risks, effects, and long-term successes are more well known. With heavier patients, like myself, it's the more effective surgery because it provides higher excess weight loss (EWL) in a shorter period of time vs the lap band or the sleeve and is less severe so far as malabsorption than the DS. On the other hand, it is drastically altering how my body works for the rest of my life. The side effects and long-term effects of the surgery are something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I'll never be able to drink carbonated drinks again for risk that it might mess up the staple line and cause erosions or leaks in my stomach. I will have to be extremely careful of eating too much too fast or not chewing my food well enough or I'll throw it up. I'll have to be equally wary of sugary and fatty foods as they may go the other way too fast and cause dumping syndrome. I'll have to stay on top of my vitamin supplements and make sure I'm getting enough of the nutrients that my body needs so I don't become deficient. I will forever and permanently be changing how my insides function, and it's a scary thought, not to mention that I will have to go through a lot of tests and procedures pre-op such as an endoscopy to make sure there are no ulcers or problems of that nature, having filters placed before surgery to ensure that no clots go to my lungs or heart and then removed after, having to stay in a hospital for a few days and all that entails, and even later on possibly having excess skin removed which will leave scars for the rest of my life.
Is it worth it then? I've asked myself this question a lot. Is what I am preparing to put my body through worth the end result? And the answer I come up with everytime is Yes. Yes, because continuing on like I am now is a worse thought. Yes, because if there is a chance, even remotely, that this could help or provide answers to all the other medical bullshit I've been dealing with for all these years then it's worth taking. Yes, because I've tried to do this on my own and I'm tired of failing. Doing something life-changing and drastic is the only way I see left to try and resolve this issue. Thinking about how things will HAVE to be after the surgery has already started changing how I think about things now, and that's a very good thing. I know me though. I need that extra push to stay on course and stick with it, and knowing that these are my limitations and I can't cross these boundaries anymore is something I can do. This really is a tool in my arsenal to fight this fight, but it is a valuable tool even now and worth the risk in my opinion.
So the next question for me was what's next. I've decided that I'm going to have a gastric bypass, what do I do now to work towards that goal? Well, I have started my 6-week medically supervised weight loss, something that's mandatory before this surgery. Having to write down what I eat and how much and how many carbs, calories, and protein grams are in it is a pain in the ass, I'm not even gonna lie. I hate it, I hate it so much, BUT it has made me stop and think about how much I'm eating knowing that if it goes in my mouth it has to go on that page for my dietician to see. It has also helped me to keep track of when I'm eating to try and spread out my meals over the course of the day rather than have 1-2 bigger meals like I was doing. I go back to check in with them again in about a week and then weekly thereafter. It will be great knowing that I can get a definitive number on my weight so if I'm making some progress before the surgery I'll be able to see it (as this is the first time I've been able to be weighed in many years...sad, but true), and I'll definitely keep that in my progress. Also still working with my primary care doctor on my blood pressure, blood sugar, and other issues that I'm dealing with right now.
The other big thing that I really have to start focusing on is how to fund this bad boy. I hate asking for money, it burns my pride in ways that I can't describe (I really am my father's child in that respect), so what I'm trying to do is look for ways to fund-raise, maybe something like a kickstarter though I'm not sure what I would do to give back to people who donated through that. That's my big thing is that I want to be able to provide -something- for people who help me out on this, I just don't know what. Even if it's just as simple as a shoutout or a pay-it-forward or something. I know this is something I can't financially tackle on my own, but I always worry about feeling like a mooch I guess. Anyways, definitely looking for fundraiser ideas for this. Got fundraiser ideas? Please send them to my ask box here.
Well I guess that's everything for now. Look for more updates in the coming week. Also, still contemplating vlogs. I had made one for this, but I'm just so self-conscious about posting it up for the world to see. I'll get there though. Maybe I'll do some audiolog journals or something to nudge me along the way.
