Ultrakill spoilers ahead, I'm only just finished with Act II of Ultrakill but I'm very excited to play more because of Gabriel. The only information of yet I can find online about the creator Hakita's religious background is a supposed discord message saying ultrakill is based on "parts of christianity that never made sense to him" or something along those lines that but I am dying to know what specific sects he was raised around because...
As a cult survivor (ex-jehovahs witness, now an athiest) Gabriel's story is scarily similar to mine to the point where it feels like Gabriel was intentionally written as a parallel to what leaving a Christian cult feels like. To what leaving Jehovahs Witnesses feels like. I know exactly what it feels like to grapple with the reality-crushing realization that everything you believed in, everything you so adamantly preached to everyone around you, everything you centered your entire existence and identity around was all a lie. And then to recognize the harm its existence continues to cause and to reckon with your own participation and culpability in said harm. And to *know* that the only option is to destroy it. In a way its a bit of a power fantasy for ex-cultists too, because while I am near powerless to destroy a multimillion if not billion dollar cult, Gabriel has the power to destroy the pillars of his former allegiance. Gabriel has agency where as cult survivors have none in the face of truly destroying the cult so that it can't harm anyone ever again. I can't help but feel tremendously jealous.
Gabriel's revelation, or wake up call, was also external, as it is for lots of cult escapees. His identity crisis was forced upon him by what is essentially a crack in the brainwashing - losing to V1 twice. Once he started questioning that and followed it to its natural conclusion he was forced to reckon with the reality that everything he was taught and believed to be the truth was incorrect. When youre in that state, your only options are radical acceptance or cognitive dissonance. Most survivors will go through several instances of choosing the cognitive dissonance (largely due to the pressures and fear tactics utilized by cults to retain members) before being faced with something they cannot will away and that becomes the catalyst for their rejection of the ideology which is the groundwork for escape. This is why cults like JWs discourage using information sources other than their own or engaging with "apostate literature". It only took Gabriel two instances (of losing to V1. Once is a fluke. Twice is much harder to hand-wave away) for him to make the logically correct decision and to have the bravery accept that decision and all the pain one invites upon themself when you choose to make it yours. He saved himself a lot of heartache by getting around to it so quickly. It takes a special kind of strength to do that. Maybe its because hes an angel.
Gabriel also faced an excommunication, similar to the JW practice of disfellowshipping (a label I carry), being literally cut off from Gods light. In the cult, it was understood that you had Jehovah's protection (from satan/demons and their devilish influence but also just like, bad things happening to you) if you were a good and faithful Witness but you lost that "protection" when you are disfellowshipped. In an instant, you go from being a special servant of God - personally called from the masses, hand picked for His light - to a mere human alone against the horrors and difficulties of the World standing no longer with the Almighty at your back but by only the strength of your own two feet. Its a tremendously heavy loss. The motives behind both are the same in Ultrakill as in a real life cult - for the sake of the believers. Gabriel's failure was not allowed to exist, because God is perfect, so it *must* have been entirely his fault, and thus he deserved the rejection. It serves as a mental block for the retained members: while it is weak against stopping the cracks in the brainwashing from forming in the outcast, that is secondary to the more important goal of protecting the minds of the other members. It acts as sort of a thought-terminating cliche for the retained members. "They sinned (were wrong) so they were punished". The blame is placed squarely on the shoulders of the outcast. The cult/ideology didn't fail, this member did, and thats all you need to accept and think about. And it is much better to lose one member than all of them.
What Gabriel came to accept and realize in a matter of hours took me years to sort out. To reach the realization that his life had been a lie, to face and accept his complicity in the wrongdoing, to immediately grasp the need for the old way to be destroyed AND THEN to immediately get to work slaughtering the council is the undoing of centuries of brainwashing in practically an instant. Most ex-cultists will probably never reach this level of clarity and introspection in their life. For Gabriel to do it in an afternoon, well, you can understand why it makes me suspicious that Hakita must have some cult association in his past, whether directly or indirectly via watching friends/family/loved ones go through it or share their experience.
At the very least, Hakita has created a character whos story portrays the exact mental process of leaving the cult you were raised in, distilled down from an entire lifetime (I was raised in it and left for love when I was 22. At the time i planned to rejoin when I got married. Im turning 25 this year and am absolutely never going back. Gabriel could have continued trying to kill V1 and regain God's favor, make everything go back to how it was - but he knows how worthless that old reality is) into less than 24 hours. It is cult survivor speed run and it is SPOT ON in an eerily similar amount of ways (I could go on. Theres a lot more) and I am DYING to know how he got it so perfectly. It is a very rational process so it is feasible he simply imagined and reasoned what it would look like if a very rational character faced these series of events but like.... its so similar 😭
Anyway, I love Gabriel to bits and pieces. He is me. I am him. I know its probably not intended to be a cult survivor allegory so the story could deviate drastically but im holding out hope that it continues to go how I suppose it would if it is and I am eagerly anticipating that would-be catharsis of watching Gabriel destroy every last remnant of it.
