I like fish.

banner by @beelur | F | Bi | 23 | Placental mammal | Fish enthusiast | university attender

[gemsandjunk]

The Onion continues to never miss

[dragon-in-a-fez]

so the BBC accidentally said the UK consumes 4.7 kilograms of cocaine per person per day

[seventyeight-moose]

Actually just a statistical error. Cocaine Georg, who lives in Stoke and does 20 kilos per minute, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

[legitimately]

*sees a beloved mutual in the notes* hi honey

[sacred-portal]

[jethroq]

just remember, tense your shoulders, grit your teeth, take rapid shallow breaths and say to yourself ”oh shit, oh fuck, this is all my fault”

[plaguedocboi]

How are conchs even real

[plaguedocboi]

Everyone in the reblogs saying “these are predators that can kill you btw” NO!!!!! You are thinking of CONE SNAILS. which are equally ridiculous looking but in a very different way!

CONE SNAIL has:

Leetle eyes

Long sniffer

Toingue

CONCHS are mostly vegetarian and their only defense is to look you in the eye and make you feel bad for them

[fizzfags]

how it feels to wash your hair and brush your teeth and have clean clothes on

[doomdaysdecays-deactivated20251]

ooooo you wanna take a shower so bad

[vampireopossum]

[3cute-blog1]

i just got a 105 min ad?? on youtube??

[3cute-blog1]

????????

[3cute-blog1]

ITS THE ENTIRE FUCKING LEGO MOVIE

[blozs-blog]

[witheringsapphic-deactivated202]

please reblog this until i find my true love. i am so alone

[tables-but-with-a-very-long-name]

Made it poly friendly

[witheringsapphic-deactivated202]

oh hell yeah even better

[courtjester69420]

Made one for aromantic trans people 👍

[perniciousprophet]

I went to reblog this, lifted my blanket up, there were me keys. It really works guys

[publiusvirgiliamaro]

new contender for best community note of all time

[deathtokillian]

10/10 dad joke

[original-character-chaos]

I'll take "sentences you would only hear on tumblr" for $200, Alex.

[f85o-deactivated20230618]

[computerdeathdream]

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[zoi-no-miko]

SPIDERS GEORG ON ONE MILLION CREEP GUYS

[aurora-eos]

The average tumblr user gets 100 notes factoid is actually just statistical error. The average tumblr user gets 0 notes.

Tumblr Georg, who has 1,000,000 notes, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted.

[honey-fire]

My dad was eating pistachios so I reached my hand out and he just started peeling them and giving them to me. Then suddenly went “I really hope you find someone who loves you a lot” and I went “enough to peel my pistachios for me?” And he laughed and said “yeah exactly” before carrying on giving me more

[peopleareaproblem]

The Raincoat

by Ada Limón

When the doctor suggested surgery

and a brace for all my youngest years,

my parents scrambled to take me

to massage therapy, deep tissue work,

osteopathy, and soon my crooked spine

unspooled a bit, I could breathe again,

and move more in a body unclouded

by pain. My mom would tell me to sing

songs to her the whole forty-five minute

drive to Middle Two Rock Road and forty-

five minutes back from physical therapy.

She’d say, even my voice sounded unfettered

by my spine afterward. So I sang and sang,

because I thought she liked it. I never

asked her what she gave up to drive me,

or how her day was before this chore. Today,

at her age, I was driving myself home from yet

another spine appointment, singing along

to some maudlin but solid song on the radio,

and I saw a mom take her raincoat off

and give it to her young daughter when

a storm took over the afternoon. My god,

I thought, my whole life I’ve been under her

raincoat thinking it was somehow a marvel

that I never got wet.

[ruinedchildhood]

[brostateexam]

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/la3xpq/aita_for_telling_my_boyfriends_coworker_that_were/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

👀

[biglawbear]

[argumate]

putting serious thought into this one before being utterly blindsided by the ending