raptors and dragons and liyotes, oh my!

I'm just a headcrab reading the newspaper. I like to reward those who help my senile ass see if this banana phone is working with chocolate chip cookies-- oh god how do you text on this thing?

[soym8-deactivated20161228]

femina china dec. 2015, lina zhang

[5oil]

[suckmybatman-deactivated2020060]

i find the idea of platonic soul mates so fucking amazing, like imagine finding someone who you feel complete with but you don’t have to worry about losing them to messy romance because they’ll be your best friend forever instead

[actuallyclintbarton]

no offense to the OP, but they have clearly never had a friend breakup with a really close friend.

they are messy and rough and most people around you won’t get why it seems like you got dumped by a significant other based on your reaction.

platonic soulmates are awesome, but friendships can be just as messy and heartbreaking and disastrous as romantic relationships - sometimes even moreso.

[countlessuntruths]

Friendship divorces suck.

Yes, you weren’t in love with them, but you loved them. So you’re grieving but you can’t say it like that, because they’re not dead, for all that they’re not in your life anymore. And you can’t call it a break up, because you two weren’t in love.

You’re full of stupid details about someone and nowhere to put it, you have to set your life back and fill a space where someone else used to be before them and you don’t even remember how that was, and you will have people act as if it was nothing, maybe you two will get back to being friends and no you won’t, this was Big, End-of-the-Universe, Big Bang, Stars collapsed kind of big or you two would still be friends…

… but you don’t even have a WORD to describe it, and make people understand that just because you weren’t in love with them, doesn’t mean that this loss is any less greater than if you had been.

[actuallyclintbarton]

^this

[hermitreptilething]

@trophyvvife

[hermitreptilething]

This is where my face gets shown online. go ahead, sue me for my dirty mirror bathroom selfie.

if anyone would like to follow my new and unfortunate instagram, here you go

[hermitreptilething]

I fucking hate this website, tag your spoilers you cunts

[earthdad]

girl: can you stop wearing those glasses while we have sex?

me:

[hermitreptilething]

@cynicalsinnamonroll

[besnurched]

make the right choice!

[rage-candy-bars]

Mop will make tumblr great again #feelthemop

[xanaxasphyxiation-deactivated20]

mop is god confirmed

mop is pom backwards

pomeranians are dogs

dog backwards is god

therefore mop is god

[hermitreptilething]

Mop Is The One

By now, voters are starting to realize that Rick can not live up to his ludicrous promises. I’m endorsing Mop because they have all of the qualities crucial in a leader: vision, stability, and a screaming focus on freedom. Most important of all, they have compassion. We all saw the aftermath of the Deborah debacle on the Late Show with Blate Savage. Beautiful response from Mop. Respected Waldo-spotter and Mop-endorser Gumbo Morrison said it best: I'm thrilled to win this election. Make a critical time. Please, contribute to our movement. What a part of this! Yesterday, Mop submitted their first budget. We have a huge step. We've built a part of this email. Never has enormous economic and so many primaries and so many incredible voters. It’s hard to deny the power of such stirring words. Make the right decision. Vote for Mop. Yours in solidarity, Hermitreptilething #MopIsTheOne #MopIn2016

[did-you-know]

When you eat a pineapple, it eats you back. Pineapples are the only known carriers of Bromelain, an enzyme that breaks down proteins. Since your body is made of proteins, the pineapples you eat are also trying to digest you. That’s why a fresh pineapple can turn your tongue into a sore piece of sandpaper. Source

[hermitreptilething]

@cynicalsinnamonroll

[sleepydrowsyancientgalaxy]

Being a lesbian or into ladies is so worth it because girls are beautiful and smell nice and there are so many kinds of girls to admire and love and I am so happy with my sexual orientation

[hermitreptilething]

the fact that I, a 17-year-old, have to tell a grown man to fuck off and keep his “nice boobies hur” comments to himself is astounding

[hermitreptilething]

i could’ve been a lot more than what i am now if i didn’t have such a shitty life

[punsatisfying-deactivated201602]

I’m not saying that I’m an amazing actor but i HAVE won as many Oscars as Leonardo DiCaprio

[elekktra]

let’s be honest we’re all just reblogging that as long as we still can

[mrswaylandworld-deactivated2018]

THIS IS YOUR LAST NIGHT Y'ALL

[tomhordy]

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via theblessedone)

[hermitreptilething]

@cynicalsinnamonroll

[miss-vortex]

Snow donuts are a phenomena which occur when the wind blows snow over a snowy layer of ground and other snow and material is collected along the way until large rings or ‘rolls’ are formed

[chelly-egg]

It’s lovely to know we live in a world with snow donuts.

[hermitreptilething]

oh look! A field of all the assholes I've torn in my tender youth.