Admiral of the Shit-taste Navy.

Help me fill you dashboard with more than the recommended dose of daily weeaboo trash.

[samipekoe]

snake kisses anyone

[trashdogpenultimate]

RULE NO. 1 OF WOUND CARE: ignore itttt :33

[centers-for-disease-control]

DO NOT

[diseases-for-center-control]

RULE NO. 2 OF WOUND CARE: go swimming!! in a pond or especially a public pool :)

[centers-for-disease-control]

WHO TF ARE YOU?!?!?!

[hetare-ttk]

FINALLY STATS FIT FOR A KING

[mlarayoukai]

genuinely who asked for an oot remake but I saw a comment on the trailers video that when something like "I'll buy this for my son like my father did for me with the original" and I remember normal people exist and my friends and I are the weird ones

[mlarayoukai]

does the 3ds remake mean nothing to you

[curiooftheheart]

It's been longer (15 years) since the 3DS version than it was from the original to the 3DS remake (13 years)

[mlarayoukai]

put that sanae picture away

[ratbastarddotfuck]

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

[digitalsymbiote]

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

[loccorocco]

Was riding a provincial bus with my friend. The bus braked hard, and she caught me by the forehead. It was a meaty smack

[hetare-ttk]

HE LOOKS LIKE THEY ACTUALLY HIRED THE "NINTENDO HIRE THIS MAN" MAN THIS IS A NIGHTMARE

[hetare-ttk]

I think it's mildly amusing that Sony has zero understanding on why their games sell so poorly on PC compared to their sales performance on the PS5.

I've yet to hear them release a single "must play" game in the past 5 years, almost every game they release comes out to raving reviews but middling user reception, none of these games have had the word of mouth power to move the needle sales wise in any platform that isn't their own.

You'd think that Astrobot being one of the most beloved games they've released in a while and winning them awards would teach them a lesson but the reception of this State of Play shows they've yet to learn anything.

[captainstoril]

Golden Bikini by Lyoung0J

[real3dsfacts]

the 3ds is an animal that can love you

[birdsareblooming]

[gayforcarstairsgirls]

"came back wrong" but it's food that you heated up in the microwave

[abalidoth]

OK SO

For anyone who hasn't heard my Microwave Rant:

Microwaves are designed to be used at a broad range of power levels. If you're getting bad results reheating your food, and you're doing everything on full blast, try a lower power setting! 50% power for twice the time, just give it a shot. It gives the heat time to spread evenly, and prevents overcooking of parts that are exposed to more radiation.

People complain about reheated pizza a lot -- that's bc overheating the crust makes it tough and chewy. I usually do pizza on 30% power for THREE times as long because it's especially vulnerable -- and my crust always comes out nice and tender.

I think there's a good metaphor for Came Back Wrong here too: if you actually take the time to do your necromantic ritual and/or unholy experiment right, and don't rush it at 100% power, you're likely to get better results.

[mouseonamoose]

Since reading this post and following its advice, my microwaved good comes out so much better.

[archenarrow]

Since reading this post a d following its advice, my necromantic rituals have come out so much better.

[pepsdraw]

pkmon woman

[pukicho]

If I wasn’t so sleepy you’d all be soo fucked

[noobkiller2009]

Just sleep

[pukicho]

There’s no fucking way that works

[dogpuppy]

[shittynewyorkercartooncaptions]

[taraxippos]

Did anyone ever like attempt to document and compile the variations of Barney the dinosaur murder ballads across the elementary school system in the early 2000s. Like legit it has always fascinated me as a phenomena and I would love to know if there were like traceable regional variations or what.

[taraxippos]

Looking at the tags so far I’m kind of fascinated by how much the ‘I Love You’ parodies vary in their phrasing/murder weapons but the ‘Joy to the World’ ones are nearly identical

[karvina]

here is my collection of barney murder songs as they appeared in the notes and comments of this post at about 4 pm pacific 7/25, somewhat arbitrarily color coded to show similar memes. it appears that "baseball bat and 2x4" is the mode configuration but there is so much variation that that exact phrasing only makes up a small part of the set. if i knew more about statistical modeling i would turn this into some kind of data tree that shows which phrases are most likely to follow other phrases.

[seravph]

“what’s the worst fruit” i hope you fucking die im strangling you what the hell is wrong with you. ‘the worst fruit’… has god not made all of these fruits in the same light???? cunt

[rottenlittlefink]

Red Delicious Apples

[punk-rocking-nerd]

[parakeet]

5th from the bottom on applerankings.com

[voidsentprinces]

May I someday gain the same level of succinct cutting vitriol criticism as the applerankings.