welcome to fee city bitches @hexwhore-blog - Tumblr Blog

when will a husband and wife who are widely rumored to be vampires invite me up to their once-gorgeous mansion which has fallen into some disrepair and then serve a beautiful meal that they barely pick at, sipping from glasses of dry red wine instead as they take turns complimenting me borderline-salaciously while shooting each other conspiratorial looks that i don’t know how to interpret before one of them insists that it’s getting far too late for me to be going back home alone and now i simply must spend the night…..

cumdumpstiel

in case the implied ending wasn’t clear enough: and then i get railed.

puppy95

*looks out my window and sees the moon* hi baby

ls-77

insomniac-arrest

undomestic yourself, go absolutely wild, crush the bounds of society

forget how to hold a fuking fork and tell your mama you’re not writing any more thank you notes to shitty relatives

forsake the household, eat raw sugar cubes on your own terms, and reverse God trying to tame us into anything useful, hiss at men and make scary gangs in empty places

insomniac-arrest

tumblr has such a fear of horses, but little did they know there was another option: become the terror itself

get yourselves some hooves and reverse the natural order of power, it’s there for the taking

unculture

i am an ancient god of woe and i run on my strong bony fingers. GIVE me a fucking carrot i will NOT be at work today

insomniac-arrest

this person gets it!!

filmnoirsbian

Catholic art: god-fearing…but make it sexy

filmnoirsbian

Catholic art critic in the 1800s: hmm im liking the overtones of guilt & sacrifice but i think its missing a lil smth…

Belgian sculptor just trying to make enough money to pay a good leech doctor so he doesnt die of consumption: like what?

Catholic art critic: ass

maximum-overboner

in primary school we had a creative writing assignment where we had to ‘write about a character in a new, strange situation!’ and i wrote about a squid that was somehow teleported from the ocean to the forest floor and slowly choked to death for two pages and i’ll never quite forget my teacher’s face because it turns out she wanted ‘this new school is scary, i hope i make friends!’ and not a graphic description of a squid dying

homo-sex-shoe-whale

I hate it when I say “suck my dick” and people say “oH bUt yOu DoN’t hAvE a DiCk” you fools. Blithering idiots. I mean my soul dick. My metaphorical penis. I don’t have a physical penis protruding from my body but the aura is there. Suck my spirit dick, peasant.

lmaonade

isn't soup really bad?

oh i’ve never felt so violent take it back

annabellioncourt

Hades: babe what’s wrong?

Persephone, drunk, scratching two of cerberus’ heads, weeping: I don’t have enough hands

kitthies-deactivated20191108

buy me flowers & run your fingers through my hair

kvothe-kingkiller

guess who ingested some foreign objects!

also he has now been officially weighed and he clocks in at a whole 7 pounds. (hes not malnourished hes just leetle)

kvothe-kingkiller

bastard man ate some rubber bands

kvothbloodless

hi im sorry but “patient: the void” is the greatest string of letters ever created

kvothe-kingkiller

ikr, I died when my mom sent me that picture

kvothe-kingkiller

wow okay this got a lot of notes overnight

yes my cats name is The Void and for good reason because most of the pictures we try to take of him end up like this

and yes he is in that last picture ^^ youre gonna need to jack the screen brightness up to find him

or alternatively:

viandpuppycat

mr. void, would you like to meet the abyss?

kvothe-kingkiller

twin agents of darkness

mycatshuman

This is so cute.

eriquin

To pet this cat to first have to sign a statement saying you are not Anish Kapoor.

thecommonchick

Same sis, same

tasmirk

all this talk about being monsterfuckers – sure, but who’s a monterlover here? monsterkissers, monstercuddlers, monster-get-em-cake-at-3-am-ers, where yall at?