Payton

i think i'm funny

[peerieweirdo]

at the end of each ep of queer eye when the dude shows off his new look to his family and friends

[atimeofmagic]

every single criminal minds episode

prentiss: oh boy can’t wait to go gambling this weekend

reid: i personally will be eating an encyclopedia 

hotch: sorry guys, we have a case

prentiss: uch

jj: seven women were found dismembered 

Garcia: d1sm3mbEreddd????

hotch: wheels up in twenty

*at local police precinct*

officer: thanks for coming to help out

Morgan: no problem

prentiss: the bodies have stab marks–

all: SEXUAL SADIST

hotch: we’re ready to deliver the profile

jj: white male

reid: late twenties to early thirties

Morgan: he’ll likely insert himself into the investigation

hotch: he’s trying to regain control over his life

*in serial killer’s lair*

serial killer: I love you

woman: we just met

serial killer: STAB STAB STAB

*back with BAU team. Morgan is on the phone with Garcia*

Morgan: give me what you got, baby girl

Garcia: you’re looking for Evil McEvilface, his father tried to kill him seven times, his mother ran away with the manny, and he lives at 6969 sad street

Morgan: you’re a miracle worker

Garcia: why don’t you come over and see what kind of miracles I can work

Morgan: *smiles and hangs up*

*back at serial killer lair*

serial killer: *about to kill woman*

all the BAU agents: FBI, PUT YOUR HANDS UP

serial killer: *puts knife to the woman’s neck*

prentiss: what happened to you as a child wasn’t fair, but you can’t hurt other ppl

serial killer: *starts crying, drops knife*

voiceover: *obscure quote*

*back on plane*

reid: did you know that there are seven leopards in existence. you have blinked twenty-two times since we boarded this plane. I am smart

all: *laughing* Reid 

[hellyeahrihannafenty]

Tom Holland does Rihanna’s “Umbrella” on Lip Sync Battle

[dr0wnedperfectionist]

I’m literally zendaya reacting like he didn’t have to go that hard and yet..

[eroscestlavie]

every time i watch this when the reveal hits and he starts dancing i’m like “oh ok that ain’t a big deal he’s just another celeb doing a gimmick” but somehow by the end of this video without fail i am filled with respect for him and zendaya for being like…a powerful gen z couple who both give off chaotic bisexual vibes 

i think it’s the irreverence with which he splashes the water 

[feistyfrank]

that was a classic that was a classic

[thelovelylights]

It’s a good time to remember that Tom Holland is a trained dancer and that initself is a gift

[professorsparklepants]

He’s trained in ballet, too, which is what makes this even funnier. I saw a video (also with Zendaya in it) of him doing like, fifteen fouettes in someone’s basement. GET A MAN WHO CAN DO BOTH.

[egg690]

I FOUND IT!!

[drawsshits-inactive]

[durbikins]

parades at disney: here’s a 40 foot tall mechanical dragon that actually breaths fire

parades at universal: y’all remember Hop(2011)?

[oddpolicy]

Ight but you can openly drink and there are kiosks full of alcohol at Universal So Take ya pick

[durbikins]

have fun dehydrating at the amusement park, you stupid shit

[goodbye--1989]

Disney has more accidents recorded than any other amusment park franchise ever :/

Meanwhile Universal has had only about 21 major incidents

[durbikins]

Wow. The company that has had parks open for over 60 years on four different countries has had more recorded accidents than the company with three parks that have been open since the 90s.

[rock10zxa]

amusement part discourse 

[airframeextender]

id like to state for the record i didnt remember hop (2011) at all before this post

[lavenderek]

this post has everything… parade ratings… disagreements about day trip nourishment… flawed statistical analysis… hop (2011)…

[atthedreamersball]

john mulaney is a horrible person. wake up guys. stop reblogging posts about him. stop supporting him. he is a despicable person. seriously. he SAW what they were doing to tyler and he did nothing. tell me, how is he better than a nazi?

[calculusty]

well you see he was over there on the bench

[rogueone]

Remember, the Force will be with you… always.

Happy Star Wars Day!

[paleaged]

me: logs into gmail from a different computer

my phone, having a nervous breakdown: if you don’t confirm your identity in the next ten seconds i’m gonna shoot your whole family and then myself

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

photographer captures people’s reactions when told that theres always money in the banana stand

[bepeu-deactivated20171202]

things to take * a nap * it easy * care

[tinsnip]

* on me

[brinnanza]

* me on

[no-chill-at-all]

[dcphotography]

[aquus]

yes i would like to sign up for AP napping

[awesome-picz]

[alycialexaa]

ICONIC

[occasionally-conscious]

[caden]

Me: gosh I’m so stressed I–

AP student: don’t talk to me about stress😩😫. I have to study for five AP–

Student athlete: you don’t know the grind 😤😤 keep it 💯we work for everything we–

Musical theater kid: work?? Try having tech week 🎭🎭the same time as midterms🙀🙀–

Horse girl: Huh? What? I could hear you I was too busy riding HORSES

[trashpawz]

This post has barely entered my life but I already feel the effects of the curse it placed on me