Warning : I’m a grumpy confused nonbinary and I want to kill myself while simultaneously flirting with cute girls REEEEEEEE
I hate being a female, I just want to chop off the physical bits that assign me as one and feel free. I obviously can’t because that would hurt like Hell and I would probably die if I attempted it. I, in no way, encourage self harm or anything like I just said I wanted to do, so don’t assume I’m telling other nonbinary, trans, etc people to do that, in fact no one should.
Then there’s surgery, but I’m 15 and there is no way in a billion gazillion years my mother or any other members my family would approve of me going up to a surgeon and saying “Hi can I apply to have my boobs removed, thank you”
I wish gender didn’t even exist, I hated explaining to my mum why I was uncomfortable being referred to as a “she” but also a “he”. I told her I want to be called a “they” and that’s the only pronoun I want to be referred to as. As many times as I kept explaining that literally sometimes the word “they” doesn’t always mean a group of people and it can mean one person, she doesn’t get it, she pretended she understood. Every day after that she had completely forgotten and still referred to me as a “she” and I gave up trying to explain because I hate explaining certain things in general. No matter how uncomfortable and unintentionally disrespected I felt on the inside I kept quiet from there.
It’s okay to not understand, we’ve all been there at least I know I have, the least you could do is try to respect someone by simple ways they request to be respected such as being called a different pronoun, even if it feels like rocket science to you.
I feel a bit stuck to be perfectly honest. I want to be seen as a person without a gender in public, but that’s not as easy when you have a family who you feel you can’t talk to about these changes because they’re probably as confused as you are.
I really want help, but I know it would involve talking to my family and they’re always busy, it would take time to make them understand at least a little bit.
I don’t know what to do, maybe I could try displaying how I feel in a subtle way and then keep doing that gradually over time.
I can’t go up to them and say “Hi here’s a word you don’t understand and I’m that!” And call it a day, easy, done. Nope.
Honestly I don’t even feel my genitials need to be there! I’m also asexual, I don’t experience sexual attraction or any interest in sex. Asexuality is a spectrum so it’s not just that simple self explanatory definition. I like girls romantically and my mum found that out recently. She doesn’t know I’m asexual but kind of knows I’m nonbinary like a little bit? She thinks I’m just a regular lesbian living my “I like vagina when I get old enough I’m going to-” life. Well that assumptions a bit complicated for me specifically, but you know explaining what I actually mean when I say “I wanna date girls” would take more loads of effort knowing who I’d be talking to.
annaxmalina
jacobvanloon
discoholicmusic
dailybridgerton
kaledo-art
