THEHIDEOUSGOURD!

"It's like being a picky eater. There are some things I don't want to put into my mouth, & some mouths I don't want to be put into." -Me

[hideousgourd]

[persianmom]

[hollowistheworld]

I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.

[hideousgourd]

Look at the silver lining, thin though it may be; the 9-5 did give us two certified bangers.

And the lesser known, but also great

But mostly yeah, the 9-5 kinda blows.

[hideousgourd]

[dogpuppy]

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

[moisterpeggingchampion]

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

[dogpuppy]

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

[hideousgourd]

"It's like being a picky eater. There are some things I don't want to put into my mouth, & some mouths I don't want to be put into." -Me

[hideousgourd]

[bloodyhandprint]

did you know avoidance only makes all of your problems worse. no one has ever discovered this before

[transcyberism]

I've suspected this for a long time but I usually try not to think about it

[hideousgourd]

[ouroborosorder]

Shoutouts to the time I had a severe fever and took benedryl and wanted to listen to feel good inc but couldn’t remember the name. I think I was crying over this

[hideousgourd]

I would've thought of these before I got you to Feel Good Inc.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[halondrus]

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

[halondrus]

art is not my strong suit but this is my best recreation of what i saw when i opened the window. i have to emphasize that she was supermodel levels of gorgeous

[eebie]

The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious

[loreleywrites]

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

[hideousgourd]

Solution: eat basically the same thing every night. That's what I do.

[there-is-still-some-liquor-left]

a body count not as in homicide nor as in sexuality but as in the trail of people from my childhood and adolescence i should’ve been a better friend to and taken better care of but i was too busy being caught up in my own heartache to recognize their own and therefore our relationship tapered off in an extremely unsatisfying way that continuously manifests itself as a thrumming sense of grief in my chest. anyway which restaurant chains have the best free pre-meal bread?

[hideousgourd]

O'Charley's had some banging bread rolls back in the day. But the chain has entirely abandoned the state of Alabama, so I can't speak to their current quality.

[hideousgourd]

@worthikids

[charlesoberonn]

Heartwarming story: Little girl doesn’t have to do anything to fund her dad’s surgery because his expenses are covered by his country’s universal healthcare.

[charlesoberonn]

Human determination: Man bikes 18 miles to work every morning because he wants to and not because he can’t afford a car and would be fired if he’s late.

[charlesoberonn]

Spirit of Brotherhood: Neighbors host housewarming party for elderly resident who doesn’t need help in paying rent because his pension is more than enough.

[hyperlexichypatia]

SO INSPIRING: Local middle school students bake dozens of cupcakes because their home economics class is doing a baking unit. Their school is fully funded with everything they need.

[blandandtasteless]

This feels like calibrating my normal detector