THEHIDEOUSGOURD!

"Get your game on. Marcus. PSP. PlayStation."

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[sleepyjump]

there's this guy who works at the convenience store next to my job and every time i come in he tries to upsell me. i'll get a gatorade and he'll say "that's it...? isn't it snacktime?" i'll get a snack and he'll say "just that? don't you want more?"

one time i got a huge pile of stuff and he STILL said it and i said "dude, you would not be satisfied with all the riches of heaven!!" and he said "i don't even get a commission. i just love doing this."

and then i couldnt come in for a while and then i came in again today for just a charger. and i said "that's it today" with a smile. and he looked at me with a gleam in his eye and said "no it isn't. you'll be back later. you'll have to get thirsty eventually, won't you?" with this conniving smile that made me realize i WAS thirsty. i'm out of my depth here. help

[bonniebugsy]

OP I think that might be the Devil

[ceruleanheaven]

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

[midiport]

im going to explode in the kiln

[hideousgourd]

There are conditions in which intense heat can help pottery harden.

I AM NOT IN THOSE CONDITIONS RIGHT NOW.

[hideousgourd]

"Get your game on. Marcus. PSP. PlayStation."

[organicmatter]

i fucking love when halloween music is just surf rock with a ghoul laughing in the background

[queenofratz]

i love me some scooby doo ass music

[hideousgourd]

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[maryoliveoil]

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

[hideousgourd]

I'm not a big fan of when people call me neuro-erotic. Gives me a bit of an ick.

[the-big-mood]

At Toba aquarium in Japan, after closing time, some clever little otter pups help their grandpa tidy up their toys. As a reward, he gives them ice cubes

[thevoidiliketoshoutinto]

Check my Aika t-shirt!

It was an impulse buy, & I don't regret it one single bit.

[heartpdf]

[godkissedme]

i think i deserve financial compensation for everything. all of it. i’m not even gonna specify

[hideousgourd]

"There are tons of holes out there, but I only have the one penis. I'm not gonna waste it on undesirable holes." -Me

[treasuredplanet]

I think that when you're overstimulated you should appear kind of grayed out and no one should be able to interact with you like a locked character in a video game

[apocryphics]

oh ok

[gorps]

[trinidemgyal-deactivated2026051]

[hideousgourd]

[jackkdaniels]

look at me. listen to me. this is directed at americans for the record. the reason you think North American animals are boring is because you live here. there are so many cool and beautiful animals here. we have beavers. we have wolves. we have moose. we have sea lions. we have armadillos. we have mountain lions. we have alligators. we have foxes. we have bighorn sheep. we have manatees. we have bears. we have ocelots. we have BISON. and that’s not even touching on the birds! or the turtles! or the snakes! we have amazing beautiful and diverse wildlife right here and it deserves to be appreciated and protected

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

Possums are the only North American marsupial, they eat ticks and keep down cases of Lyme, and they can't carry rabies! We only have two native boa constrictors; the rubber boa and the rosy boa! Bison and the American Alligator are LITERAL MEGAFAUNA LEFT OVER FROM PREHISTORY!

[scifigrl47]

When I was a teenager, I was hiking with my family on Cape Cod. I was not a willing participant to these hikes; I would've preferred to be back at our rental cabin with a book.

But my parents were birders, so hiking we did go.

And about a mile up the trail, a woman came rushing up to us, clutching her binoculars to her chest. "Come quickly," she said, with a British accent. "You have to see this!"

This is what birders are like. They are as excited about a life bird as any fan would be spotting their favorite celebrity. You have to see, you have to.

So my parents rushed off with her, and I plodded along behind them.

To find a cluster of Brits huddled in a bird blind, staring at..

A blue jay.

A goddamn blue jay.

And I was a teenager, but I knew better then to mouth off in front of my mom. So I nodded, and smiled, and bit my tongue, until an elderly man looked at me with tears in his eyes, and said, "Isn't it BEAUTIFUL?"

And I stopped. And looked at it. The way they were. As if it were new. And damned if they weren't right.

I think of that, to this day. That sometimes, you need to step back, and see the world as if it were new. Strange, and haunting, and beautiful, so beautiful.

[falconratesbirds]

Isn't it BEAUTIFUL?

[hideousgourd]

We got a good continent here.

[driftwoodsix]

still living with my parents as an adult is just like. i'm grateful to not have to pay for groceries. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to have a roof over my head and not have to pay rent. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to not have to worry about sending out endless job applications that all lead to nowhere. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful i'm grateful i'm so fucking grateful. i have to get out of here

[hideousgourd]

For me, it's been like,

Oh, I'm living with my mom.

Oh, I'm living with my mom.

Oh, I'm living with my mom.

Oh, my mom & I are living together.

Oh, my mom & I are living together.

Oh, my mom is living with me.

Oh, what's gonna happen to my mom?