Not Quite There Yet

HistoryWhore is not a whore. Well, not professionally at least. Otherwise, that's your opinion. Brittany. 25. Chicago-ish. Desperately lost.

[schneidery]

crowley + calling aziraphale ‘angel’

[henricavyll]

CHRIS EVANS | The Hollywood Reporter (2019),

[mysticmoonhigh-deactivated20211]

So I was talking to a boy today and called him “dude” and he goes, “Hey, I’m not your dude. I want to go by bro.” And the very first thing that popped into my head was ‘wow, he has preferred bronouns’.

[kiriamaya]

omg

[animalbody]

depressed kids in the media: I don’t wanna go to therapy! I don’t need help! I’m not some specimen for you to dissect!

me, rollin up to my therapist’s office and collapsing in relief: what is UP my homeboy I fuckin missed you,, hope ur ready to hear some Bull Shit that fuckin happened to me this week

[gay-jesus-probably]

families of depressed kids in media: okay sweetie we’ve researched depression for ten hours straight and signed you up for therapy and re-arranged your school schedule to be less stressful

actual parents of depressed kids: look i get you’re sad but someones gotta do the goddamn dishes stop being lazy get up. why didn’t you go to school today, what’s wrong with you, you’re such a burden on this family.

[kremeroyale]

Therapists in the media: *understanding head tilt*

My real live therapist whom I adore: Natalie, that is the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever heard.

[nullannddvooiid]

Therapists in Media: Lets do some art therapy and be really quiet while we talk about your feelings :)))))) also I’m prescribing you 500 different medicines

My therapist Brian who I love to death: Jack, I think your first problem is you stay up too late looking at memes, so let’s try taking a nap

[exjwthings]

My real life therapist: Okay, before we start, I found this hilarious video I know you’d love.

[atheistjw]

Therapist in media: serious face the whole time

My therapist: *laughs awkwardly*

[skirris]

therapists in media: refined, cultured, poised, “I’m afraid I haven’t [heard of the nerdy thing their patient just referenced]”

my old therapist derek, from across the reception area, seeing me for the first time after the summer of 2015: HEY DID YOU SEE AGE OF ULTRON?? IT SUCKED, RIGHT???

my current therapist ian, in our very first appointment: do you like star wars? anxiety is like the force, it can consume you, or you can learn to keep it in balance… you’re my padawan now

[mmmm-gross]

Actual things my therapist has told me:

“You’re bassicly a glorified sad lizard.” (It makes sense with context)

“Damn girl you need to get your shit together.”

“Go home and cry. Stop drinking in bathtubs. Eat something that isn’t bleach or memes.”

I’ll add more tomorrow after I see her again.

[papi-chulo-bucky]

My therapist: Damn sis, you good?

[im-just-using-this-for-porn]

❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️

[historywhore]

My therapist Mark who is my favorite: I’m going to bring in a bucket of ping pong balls to whip at you every time you’re sarcastic.

Also, in response to hearing about my ex telling me he would give up “better sex with these new girls” to have me back

“What a fucking saint.”

The sarcasm runs deep in that office.

[theinturnetexplorer]

The “Magic Mirror”

[wdbrkbrmghm]

欲しい。商品化しないかな・・・。

[did-you-reboot]

This is super cool but it doesn’t include the text instructions! Here’s the original imgur gallery with some comments on each image, and here is a detailed tutorial that the creator made (he also made the code free to use on his github) in case you want to make one yourself!

[solitics]

HOLY SHIT

[sobeitjayt]

wtf

[bliztedminds]

His some future shit

[professionalfacesitter]

I gotta get this in my mancave

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[flawlessbeautyqueens]

Melissa Fumero and Stephanie Beatriz photographed by Natalie Brasington

[unpretty]

i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars

[dr-hollands-deactivated20190209]

I’m sorry what

[unpretty]

you heard me

[unpretty]

[elkian]

#I CAN’T BELIEVE I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BUY THE EXACT FETISH GEAR THEY USE ON MY FAVORITE COOKING SHOW

[fiskeorn-deactivated20180416]

@genericrevenge

[son-of-maglor]

OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY USING SPREADER BARS ON A COOKING SHOW??!??! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT KINDA HARD TO COOK???!?

[unpretty]

kinda, yeah

[renthebarbarian]

@datas-vibrating-robot-dong this seems like your speed

[gregorydickens]

That logo looks familiar.

[unpretty]

WHAT

OH MY GOD

[sylveonce]

[paintmeahero]

We met Alton Brown at a show he did here - we paid the extra cash to meet him and get a blurry cellphone pic with him and have him sign a picture. He noticed my (male) companion’s pocket watch, and proceeded to order him to take it out of his pocket. It wasn’t obnoxious, it was in a Dom tone that brooked no argument. So he complied. When he found out it wasn’t wound, and so not working, he was deeply disappointed, and told him to do better next time. 

If this guy isn’t a Dom, I’ll eat that spreader bar.

[unpretty]

[strangesequitur]

This post just keeps going new places every reblog cycle.

[homosgenic]

[pr1nceshawn]

Taking Public Transit: Day 1 vs Day 101.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[quorrat-deactivated20141105]

[satansonmyside]

I know I just called you dude but I’m trying to flirt with you

[toastbutteregg]

[veryfunnymemes]

[historywhore]

You ever do something that is stupid even when you know it is? Speed even when you know there’s typically a cop on that corner or have another drink even though you know you’re going to wake up with a headache? 

Lately, my life has been one giant “I know this is stupid but I’m doing it anyways.” kind of a day. I did the smart thing. I did the thing I thought I was supposed to do and it blew up anyways. I spent months, years, sitting around thinking I was happy but I realise now I was just stagnant. I was waiting for change to come to me without making any effort to meet it half way.

Somewhere along the way I convinced myself I was middle-aged. I was done having the kind of fun that makes your body fill up with light and your chest feel something new. I was over kissing new people and seeing new bodies and talking to strangers. I was happy on the couch. I was wrong.

I’m 27 years old and I’m young as hell. I’m young and I’m stupid and I’m not done. 

[dimir-charmer]

James Tiberius “sunk all his points into improvised weaponry and bluff” Kirk, space bard.

[dimir-charmer]

Commander “charisma is a dump stat” Spock, space wizard

[dimir-charmer]

Lieutenant “wait, can we use supplemental materials for this?” Sulu, space duelist

[dimir-charmer]

Lieutenant  Nyota“lockpick and detect trap are literally always useful skills guys come on” Uhura, space theif

[dimir-charmer]

Lieutenant Commander Montgomery “definitely going to blow the party up with that flask of Greek fire” Scott, space alchemist.

[dimir-charmer]

Ensign Pavel “Does not know how to tank” Chekov, Barbarian

[dimir-charmer]

And finally, to round out the party, Leonard “I can’t believe not a single one of you motherfuckers took a single rank in healing, I should pick rogue just to spite you,” McCoy, space cleric.