"I'll be worried about you." "That's just love." @hivemindscape - Tumblr Blog

i miss needing you

the intensity of feeling unfamiliar before

i miss missing you with the flare of organ failure

love with nowhere to go but at least this heart used to be full

#today marks 3 years since my soulmate passed away #the thought that one day i won't be able to picture her in my head and not be distraught about it bothers me very much #worse- it doesnt bother me now as much as it used to. all the signs are there. the famed moving on #but. as fucked up as all of this is. as selfish as expressing my grief feels #its okay as long as i don't hate myself for it. for any of the related things i want to ruin myself over #its the crucial rule that i realized last year needs to guide me #nothing will be in vain and she'll live on and loving her will remain an integral part of me If i love myself like she did #the simple fact is that it'll be very unfair if i lay ruin to my mental health and future and passions while being the one left alive #if i deny myself happiness it's like i dishonor her?#it makes sense to me #'being grieved forever is the least she deserves' is only an epic statement in a hollywood movie #making myself into a tragedy in her honor is fucked up and i was wrong and hurting and thats fair #she was the sun. her memory has to propogate light.#she made me dream; contruct a future i was excited about for the first time ever #she was love #if my memory of her gradually decays. the input she had on my outlook on life will stay. i'll work to make it stick #make it productive instead of destructive like it was the past years #if the world falls apart if i lose the people i love- i will still have a reason to be happy. Her.#and because she's gone it's like. nothing about Us will change anymore. i'm in control of how the narrative now goes #the sun that she was will stay up over my head even if i live long enough to forget how it got there #but i have a tattoo for that - i wont forget. never completely #if that was the one time in my life i get to feel such depth of love & such contentment in being loved in turn. i'll be happy with that too #i was lucky. i am lucky #lets call this healing instead of selfishness #because im trying to be kind to myself like you would've liked it

It's about how you use the knives, innit?

the file was called "vigilante au or something". I've not developed said au past this, so i invite yall to go wild

#LADS PLEASE WELCOME. MY AGED-UP RITSU #GAH IVE WANTED TO PRESENT HIM LION KING STYLE SINCE FOREVERRRR #they're 20+ here #ritshou #THEY'RE BOYFRIENDS YOUR HONOR. I HOPE TO HAVE MADE IT MOST OBVIOUS #bound to enact justice upon bad people. it certainly won't deteriorate their moral compasses slowly enough they won't notice #guyssss if anyone has Thoughts i wish to see them in the tags *rubs hands aggressively*#Ritsu. ritsu. you know my projecting into ritsu went too far when i give him my haircut #Listen. Listen. i had a vision and it was Clear. thats how he looks now #Ritsu's scar also!!!! yes i know all the scars have healed in the broccoli explosion But your honor. i want it this way.#i didn't stare at that one screenshot from The Incident determining where exactly the blood is gushing from- for nothing #something something mature ritsu changes his hair unbothered that the scar will be greeting him every morning in the bathroom mirror #SHOU'S EYEBROWS TOO *wiggles my own* in other wips the heredity is even more pronounced i think i was still figuring out my headcanons here #Ohhh they've been figured out. ohh they have #ritshou nation i swear im fighting for my life over here to have energy and time to draw and post #thank you for sticking with me everyone ♡ i know its been a fucking While #not too long by my standards tbf. but id rather like to post the obscene amount of FINISHED SHIT THAT I HOARD #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #kageyama ritsu #suzuki shou #ritsu kageyama #shou suzuki #rishou #mob psycho fanart #mp100 fanart #honestly somehow - and thats just me- i don't see this as something that could happen in the canon future?#like something in their backstories had to have gone very differently. or the entire setting is different #the vibes are strange. hmm #shouritsu

HAIR SYMBOLISM >>>>>>>

"not alone" and "roller coaster" by peach tinted for immersion (songs i drew these to, they're synonymous to these drawings in my head now)

#scissor seven fanart #small island life of two totally normal people #something something post canon Thirteen cutting ties with the League. cutting the weapon that she could never put down- off. the weight off #Seven finding and maintaining balance between past and present. a sum of all of his experiences that he now remembers and accepts #(SCREAMING. THIS IS SO SOFT AND WARM I CANNOT jhgvjfvdfvjbhd i spun around for like hours total looking at these)#i realised a while ago i dont ship them as they are Now but i do lose it over what their relationship Will Be post canon #the two of them are so different and That's what'll be perfect #creating common language. discovering themselves through discovering what gravity pulled them towards each other in the first place #the different personalities and similar experiences and Especially differing experiences #i have so many thoughts bro Too many i get obsessed. the Possibilities. for both fluff and angst and deeply human stuff #trust and touch starvation and 'vulnerability was trained out of me' and grief and attraction #and the balancing act of learning to be someone new while also still being you and liking who you are being #WHILE ALSO sharing that journey with someone #thats tough as shit!!!! they might not wanna do it together. BUT THOSE END CREDITS MONTAGES IN S3 AND 5????#i both want new episodes obviously and Don't want them i wanna stay within my theories and mussings forever. all i reqire is more fanworks #by the W a y. these drawings and rant were brought to you by 'Sunkissed' by permadrift on ao3 #bows to the floor A literary Masterpiece #scissor seven #cike wu liuqi #wu liuqi #plum blossom thirteen #Mei Hua Shi San #thirteen #my god how do i tag for this fucking show. screams #WHAT ARE WE CALLING THEIR SHIP EVEN #??? TWENTY???#seven x thirteen #help me god #THE FACT WE CAN PLAY WITH HAIR SYMBOLISM AND BE FULLY ENDORSED BY THE SHOWS PREMISE. NOT TO MENTION CANON VERY OBVIOUSLY DOES IT ITSELF #god i love s7 theres so much Stuff

i wish you the best and i'm sending strength to you even if i'm just a stranger on a silly website.

may you continue to turn this painful grief into the most stunning declarations of love if it's what helps you keep on living.

have a good day 💚

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 you've a great day as well, you wonderful human

#i love that im still surprised by such displays of care from strangers even though I've been on the internet for most of my life now #thank you so so much. all the best vibes and wishes right back to you ♡#two days ago i browsed Sun's ao3 for no known reason. her marvel fic that was popular in her time-#seems to have gotten another couple thousand kudos. its something absurd now; fucking 13k kudos 3k bookmarks i was floored #240k hits. all of these people affected by her existence. hundreds of comments declaring love for the work #dozens in the last 3 years who have no idea #i cant name what i felt except relief? i dont have to worry im failing at preserving her memory- she did it herself #made a legacy with her passion and skill. its quite big. and will never be enough #but it lets me feel just a tad bit more content with getting 10 likes and one lovely message for my attempts #in the end i just wanna love her and be alive and do both however i see fit #maybe this tragedy doesn't have to have a bigger audience than it already does after all #maybe its cool that all of those thousands of people will never know #a time capsule #maybe its healthy selfishness. and making a couple dozen people keep her in their memory is a job well done #oh and i just noticed that you called my piece stunning awhdhzhxhhshd 💜💜#i drew 90% of it in may 2023 some months after. so it was done on the strongest emotions. i love it very very much #i cant feel as much towards it as i used to. so im that much more glad it exists cause i Can remember how much there was #my memory is bad. so having this proof is calming. im glad i can draw #where would i put all of it otherwise #thank you again for following me (an educated guess) and appreciating me as a person and taking a moment to write this #ive long as accepted there's so much pain everywhere you can't expect yours will be singled out. it feels huge when someone does

this crazy incredible scissor seven fic WILL HEAL YOUR STARVATION

Cola is the one who finds Seven washed up on the island AU

#gosh GOSH DARN i am obsessed. ITS SO QUALITY. IT HAS SO MUCH VOLUME TO EVERY PARAGRAPH #ITS SO SOLID IN ITS WORLDBUILDING AND CHARACTER BUILDING YET IT'S LIKE. UNOBTRUSIVE ABOUT IT? ITS GIVING YOU THE TOOLS AND STEPPING BACK #TAKE A SHOVEL TO EVERY THOUGHT EVERY OBSERVATION EVERY LINE SAID AND UNSAID #AND ITLL BE LIKE YOU PUZZLED (ha puzzle) THIS PICTURE TOGETHER YOURSELF AND YOU WANNA JUMP AROUND- IDK IDK thats how it feels for me #Gratifying #20% of my brain's ram has been permanently dedicated to thinking about this AU i am so serious #considering how little fanfiction there is in this fandom this fic alone HAS HAD ME FED FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS NOW #AND ITS JUST TWO CHAPTERS MAN (third one on the way 👀👀👀👀)#its exactly what i was hoping to find what i hope to find in every fandom i fall into. i feel blessed i do #and yes yes lets clap for forged sibling relationships i breathe for that shit 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏#they've Ways to go till that and the journey is whats most exciting in the right hands #im so hyped. but also I love this contentment i have that even if it doesn't continue past 3 chapters I'll be completely chill #what I've already experienced is perfect enough man like im not greedy #guess thats the appreciation for fanworks you gain being in small fandoms #or just growing older oh no #scissor seven #cike wu liuqi #scissor seven fanart #Kě Lè #cola scissor seven #how do i tag her 😭😭😭#wu liuqi #killer seven #gosh Back to my roots drawing fic fanart. feels so good #right. disclaimer: NOT A SHIP ART. NOT A SHIP FIC. IF YOU MAKE THIS PIECE SEXUAL ITS ON SIGHT.

hivemindscape

yall doing anniversary tributes got me thinking about that era of my life and wow. I learned to draw humans because of Gravity Falls, its style is where mine started. Things that used to be impossible now come naturally, its so cool to look back. I'm so proud

So here's the sailors!!! The mystery misters!! the twins ever <3

unbothered, coated in salt, flourishing

#morning bump #this was the first time i drew stan and the second time i drew ford in 8 years #its Insane to think about #i love love love what i did with their faces #LIKE YEA!!!! THATS THEM ALRIGHT!! BUT IN MY DISTINCT STYLE THAT IVE CULTIVATED SINCE THEN #and Stanley's smile is melting me every time it radiates happiness man #and ford's expression i adore too- his mind never stops whirring he's always worrying about something that's the remnants of the portal #so contentment looks different on him- it's in the release of control over his surroundings and body #he doesnt need to perform doesnt need to read people doesnt need to keep his body tight like a spring in preparation for a jump #i hoped to convey that here. he's thinking alright he's maybe worrying about some shit but he'd still not rather be anywhere else #AND TATTOOS BRO. I shook with excitement when i put them there they're now my canon i dont care #i was planning to refine the designs along with everything else in this drawing and then mehed hchxhc #i also love how utterly grandparent stan looks with that pose and that belly and expression. i look at him and see my late grandpa istg #gravity falls #stan pines #ford pines #gravity falls fanart #gf fanart #stan twins fanart #grunkle stan #grunkle ford #stan pines fanart #ford pines fanart

yall doing anniversary tributes got me thinking about that era of my life and wow. I learned to draw humans because of Gravity Falls, its style is where mine started. Things that used to be impossible now come naturally, its so cool to look back. I'm so proud

So here's the sailors!!! The mystery misters!! the twins ever <3

unbothered, coated in salt, flourishing

#I remember vividly being a teen thinking: 'all i want is to draw believable hugs'#the end goal of mastering human anatomy since the very beginning was successfully solving the puzzle of two bodies in a hug #All of these years- not exaggerating at all- the most important most vibrant fruit i reap is being able to draw believable embraces #like. i cant even Begin to express to you the ecstasy. of wanting your blorbo hugged and being able to Make It Fucking Happen #and the process is not frustrating but an enticing jigsaw where you gotta figure out volume and clothes and joints and lengths in 3d space #and then you have your prize youre looking at it and heart is swelling and youre physically shaking with love. both for the characters and-#yourself. brother thats what my Life is for.#this sketch is from last spring. kept hoping to refine it but then i tried yesterday and realised i love it messy as is #so what that its not presentable! im inspired by people's sketches and the Fact people post sketches #Story time: before GF i only drew dragons. and occasional screenshot redraws from tv shows but they were akin to landscape studies #like- i couldn't begin to grasp how artists Understand human bodies and faces it felt like an unbreachable divide #between me and all the mental images in my head. disheartening paralyzing even. any artist knows the feeling #(it isnt entirely gone no there's Much room to grow till im able to do everything i want. taming your ambition is an integral part of art #but Jesus it doesnt remotely compare to the depth of the pit this hyperactive hyperfixated teenager had to throw their ideas down into #with a whispered 'maybe one day'. How do people who dont do art Live. like. oh god.#the 'maybe one day' that i do Now is driven by knowledge instead of hope. I have experience to draw from that this 'one day' does happen)#I derailed. So i avoided humans like the plague best left to madmen on devianart.and i didnt watch anime as a kid it gave me bad vibes #same as minecraft by the way yes point and laugh #so then GF happened to me- i fell into the fandom in the hiatus before the finale; i poured my excitement into redrawing screenshots again #But here the cartoonish style simplified so much they came out successfully! humans were finally fun now! I could try drawing my own fanart #so i did; retaining the style at first. quickly the potato noses started pissing me off so i went for a more realistic shape with nostrils #which made the circle eyes stick out so they changed too. then hair the hands the clothes. in 2018 i switched to pacific rim. Real actors-#to train likeness on; learning to land that middle ground between cartoonish and overly complex; fewer lines fewer shadows fewer colours #yet recognizable and readable features; shapes; fingers. then pile expressions onto that!! and the freaky angles i always chose!!!#ran out of tag space. the point is: its still hard!!! its hundreds of hours of labor! But remembering where it started is just. Incredible #its my favourite bit of my creative journey to tell friends #gravity falls fanart #stanley pines #stanford pines #stan twins

hivemindscape

im a big fan of esper powers slipping loose in harmless ways when they're happy

#i hear its valentines day

hivemindscape

brotha ew

#wait i hope you guys noticed the buildings in the bg of mob's half cause like im super proud of that bit #and my brother said he didn't see them till i pointed out so im pointing out orz #and simultaneously doing a bump or whassitcalled #dude the color combos are Insane here #who drew that

brotha ew

#the kanji- expectedly- means 'brother'#'ani' older brother to be specific #yea im very excited to watch yall writhe on the floor <3 #i don't have a meta to go with this this time just art rants #what is there to say? Ritsu looked up at his cherished mould and saw the familiar worst version of himself #Shigeo looked down at his reflection in a pool of blood #CAN WE DISCUSS. RITSU'S EXPRESSION. when i started this i struggled to add anything of mine to the expression even artstyle wise #and even doubted its a fruitful idea to do a spin on That particular screenshot because. its fucking perfect on its own #its only after returning to this wip for 10-ish time i succesfully reached my rendition of ritsu's features still retaining the Range #of emotion. the fucking RANGE BROTHER.#Usually. i try not to give in to the urge to redraw a shot that i already think is flawless cause my brain gets stuck on just copying it al #and im not skilled enough Yet to go all impressionist and funky with rendering. But thats Usually #This time i straight up outdid myself Holy Fuck IM SO COOL LOOK AT THIS SHIT #no because you guys. you guys dont know what ive strived for in my art what i take inspiration from #for years #its stuff that looks exactly like this.#you'll say 'wtf fid your previous kageyama bro comic is funky as fuck what are you talking about' BRO THATS THE THING!!!!#ITS STILL A FLUKE I STRUGGLE TO REPEAT STILL TAKES GODDAMN DOZENS OF HOURS AND MONTHS OF PLAYING AROUND BUT I GET THERE MORE OFTEN NOW!!!#mob psycho fanart #mp100 #kageyama brothers #shigeo kageyama #kageyama shigeo #kageyama ritsu #ritsu kageyama #mob psycho 100 #i also think im hilarious for that caption #whazzat brotha

ashrayus

the fam of all timee for @hivemindscape’s birthdayy 💜

#I LOVE U SO MUCH ASHHHHHHH AWDHDHXH I HAVE INJECTED THIS PICTURE INTO MY BLOODSTREAM.#LOOK AT THE SQUISH. THE SQUISH. THE SOFT.#i love them so much they're everything.#i am printing this and hanging it up asap #CHICKEN FAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I've already pestered ash about the chalk effect on the colouring cause its freaking amazing and i want to eat it-#- and replicate it and when she said 'oh i was thinking about ur art so' i straight up died #im ded bro #thank you for being in my life mate so we can impact each other with our art and our passions for years past and many years more 😭💜💜💜#have i mentioned that i wanna learn to build colour pallettes as scrumptious as yours turn out to be? Yes.#i'm absorbing your every piece into my database for future reference yes #LOOK AT THOSE PINK ACCENTS AND HOW THEY GO WITH THE HOODIE COLOUR!!! THE HOODIE IS WHITE BUT ITS PURPLE!!!! FUCL #dai bo's legs hanging in the air kill me this is so perfect

The Hunter's Heart

and a little comic of a missing scene wherein Merlin spent the night warming and healing Gwen up ♡ they're important to me

#I TRIED TO FIND WHAT EXACTLY I MADE MERLINS SPELL TRANSLATE TO AND COULDN'T LMAO #it's always An Experience trying to reverse engineer my own old work #anyhow. Merlin and Gwen being soft with each other>>>>#Their friendship got less and less screentime as seasons went on so this scene was precious #Now for the artwork breakdown. I wanted to capture the brilliant idea that is only expanded upon in fics #that Merlin being magic is profoundly connected to nature and all living things #Not as basic empathy but like. He feels the breathing of trees; channels his power from the earth and the wind; etc #creatures recognise him and would reach out for help and he'd feel its pain; he acutely experiences the change of seasons (just like me fr)#the left skull is the unicorn; ep that showed that connection in canon; and then the dragon skull is obviously Aithusa #Yep. I did the ouchie. It's all misshapen see #I'll have more to say about Aithusa and Merlin if i finish some other pieces that've been cooking for what 3 years?#my oven is broken #the threads that kinda weave through it all- green for nature; orange like eyes on fire cause those three are all arcane creatures #now lore rant! i Dislike the finale but when i cooled down after the very last rewatch and read some good fanfiction-#-i felt for Gwen and Merlin reuniting post-canon and being in this very tight maybe even dependant platonic relationship #or queerplatonic considering my Merlin is ace and Gwen crushed on him once upon another life #Two people gutted by grief and responsibility find the strength to love themselves enough to love another #What im saying is that i realised that this is the sort of multilayered baggage-heavy shit i love in my fictional narratives #just dont want it at the sake of all other things i loved in said narrative #bbc merlin #merlin emrys #merlin fanart #queen guinevere #guinevere pendragon #i was about to misspell gwens full name and had the humility to open wikia. that coul'dve been embarassing #merlin fandom #gwen merlin #its insane looking back on the dark place i was in when i made this piece. this is a full on poster. im epic for that

lucky number 7

headcanon dump: the kids in the program were either orphans or taken off the streets, then stripped of identity- their names- and given numbers. They trained together, ate together, slept together, then killed each other in the Pit. Maybe there were several rounds of this, rinse everything human out of them, and repeat. That first run of the program, number seven was the last one standing. The next iteration, it was nine.

#readmore is spoilers for season 5 but also i feel like if you haven't watched scissor seven reading it might hook you in #if you like the same brand of angst i do #LIKE BOII. DAMN. The intensity of emotion i felt drawing this shit. my god #i implore you to zoom in on the face. i think thats some great expression i caltured there #mmmmmmMMMMMM #he looks every bit the child he is here. with his body shape and body language and and i did pop off but also looking at this gives me #PSYCHIC DAMAGE.#AY LOOK AT ME POSTING SKETCHES!!!! Ash said the trademark trait of my art is its messiness so im embracing that #scissor seven #伍六七 #cike wu liuqi #scissor seven fanart #killer seven #wu liuqi

i am down with the scissor seven illness so here's a sketch pile 8<

#THE LAST ONE. Help me GOD i love them so much #FOUND FAMILY BUT MAKE IT DIFFERENT SPECIES & GIVE EACH VIOLENT TRAGIC BACKSTORIES &MAKE THEM EACH OTHERS CATALYST FOR CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE #talk to me about dai bo rationalizing his need to look out for seven Like 'oh he's an idiot he wont make it on his own in Xuanwu'#'we gotta leave the life we sought and built behind to follow this kid into danger cause he's a moron you see' SURE MAN. SURE MAN #dai bo shouting at seven to Stay Fucking Put Oh My God stay Where I Can See You was giving parent so hard i squealed #the only scenes i cared about in the Entirety of season 4 and im not afraid to say it #also since im ranting - my style is cartoonish sure but a square chicken with a face for most of its body Does Not fit in with my humans #so i was like. How do i do this. i need more details but whenever i tried to add them he'd stop looking familiar #but im so proud of myself i figured it out #Feathers.#like Bro bro. Listen. i love birds. and he still looks like he popped out of angry birds A Little bit #but with the added realism of feathers on his arms/wings he began fitting in. or at least i feel like he does and im satisfied #the feathers as fingers thing is giving disney but i dont want to be bothered about it this show doesnt take itself seriously half the time #so why should i #THE OTHER HALF OF THE TIME THOUGH???? WHEN THEY LOCK IN??????? holy. fuck. can i just. give you guys a part of my heart. oh wait #the first sketch is my very first piece (excluding the gift for Ash because i drew it for her birthday i wasn't yet obsessed enough-#-to need to draw my own fanart but This Scene fulfilled ALL of my expectations and was visually and sound design-ly Fucking Unparalleled #holy shit. Holy shit im so obsessed with season 5 dude. How is it so amazing #scissor seven #cike wu liuqi #dai bo #da bao #killer seven #cheap life hua #plum blossom thirteen #i mean she's there off camera in the third one lmfao #how the fuck do i tag these guys correctly

after finishing season 5 i was just. so Goddamn Proud of Seven. felt like I'd burst so i hhxhdhxh poured it into this

(me when me when a parental figure calls their 20+ year old 'kid'. . .)

#THEY MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME😭#bitter lonely liars dont adopt traumatized children challenge (failed every time)#DO YOU FEEL ME.#yes hello s7 fandom I'm excited to start contributing to the table 8<#scissor seven #cike wu liuqi #killer seven #wu liuqi #dai bo #da bao #伍六七 #the absurd lack of massive appreciation online for this show gives me courage to post sketchy shit and i will. i have so much.#I'll post it all idc #no matter how 'unworthy' i might feel it is the people in a small fandom appreciate any food i feel like. i know i do #plus its propaganda. Gotta 👏Push👏 The fucking👏 s7 👏Agenda

hivemindscape

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHOU!!!

Fluff for the occasion!!! set in 2015; in the current day and age he's turning 25 which is crazy, hope mans nailing adulthood

bonus air kiss to my fellow queers and especially aspecs:

#ITS OUR KING'S BIRTHDAY MY GODD ITS BEEN A YEAR #i love this comic so much honestly #especially the fact that i spedran it And finished on time #i cant paste original tags in here for some reason -_- go look at them man was straight up writing fics #mp100 #mp100 fanart #suzuki shou #ritsu kageyama

its only fitting i post this today since this was a birthday drawing for Ash @ashrayus my beloved who got me into Scissor Seven to begin with, thank you SO MUCH and fangirling with you is awesome times <3<3<3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIUQI!!!!! the goat

#i didnt have time to draw a special birthday piece or comic (tho i have a script for it RIP maybe ill write a fanfic)#so im marking the day by spreading s7 propaganda #you yes you. you should watch this show #you value the same shit in fiction that i do? multi-layered characters? angst? platonic relationships? bro listen. Listen.#scissor seven #cike wu liuqi #killer seven #wu liuqi #伍六七

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"I'll be worried about you." "That's just love."