Wondering but not lost

“Normality is a paved road; it’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it.” - Vincent van Gogh

[pucksandpower]

I don’t know how to say this eloquently enough for it to make sense, but there comes a point in every hockey fan’s life where you have to make peace with the majority of players in the sport and on your team being conservative. If they’re American, they’re likely Trump supporters. If they’re Canadian, they would likely vote for him if they could (just ask Gretzky). Even the PWHL isn’t immune from terfs and MAGAs.

There also comes a point in every hockey fan’s life where you decide that loving the sport, even if it doesn’t love you back, means wanting to make sure that hockey really is for everyone. It’s not letting the conservatives force you out of your fandom just so that a right-leaning space becomes even more of an echo chamber. It means doing your part in growing the game and making it a safe place for all.

And yeah, it’s not all rainbows and butterflies. The reality is nothing like the fics we read and write on here (which are fictional for a reason … because the fiction is meant to be enjoyable), but that doesn’t mean hockey isn’t for you! It doesn’t mean you have to stop cheering. It does however mean that you quickly come to understand that you can’t place players on a pedestal.

That’s the reality of being a hockey fan.

So believe me, I know. I’ve lived it for twenty years. And it’s not pretty. But it is getting better, and I like to believe that one day hockey really will be for everyone.

[libbyframe]

The holy trinity

[madgirlf]

“when she was 7, a boy pushed her on the playground she fell headfirst into the dirt and came up with a mouthful of gravel and lines of blood chasing each other down her legs when she told her teacher what happened, she laughed and said ‘boys will be boys honey don’t let it bother you he probably just thinks you’re cute’ but the thing is, when you tell a little girl who has rocks in her teeth and scabs on her knees that hurt and attention are the same you teach her that boys show their affection through aggression and she grows into a young woman who constantly mistakes the two because no one ever taught her the difference ‘boys will be boys’ turns into 'that’s how he shows his love’ and bruises start to feel like the imprint of lips she goes to school with a busted mouth in high school and says she was hit with a basketball instead of his fist the one adult she tells scolds her 'you know he loses his temper easily why the hell did you have to provoke him?’ so she shrinks folds into herself, flinches every time a man raises his voice by the time she’s 16 she’s learned her job well be quiet, be soft, be easy don’t give him a reason but for all her efforts, he still finds one 'boys will be boys’ rings in her head 'boys will be boys he doesn’t mean it he can’t help it’ she’s 7 years old on the playground again with a mouth full of rocks and blood that tastes like copper love because boys will be boys baby don’t you know that’s just how he shows he cares she’s 18 now and they’re drunk in the split second it takes for her words to enter his ears they’re ruined like a glass heirloom being dropped between the hands of generations she meant them to open his arms but they curl his fists and suddenly his hands are on her and her head hits the wall and all of the goddamn words in the world couldn’t save them in this moment she touches the bruise the next day boys will be boys aggression, affection, violence, love how does she separate them when she learned so early that they’re inextricably bound, tangled in a constant tug-of-war she draws tally marks on her walls ratios of kisses to bruises one entire side of her bedroom turns purple, one entire side of her body boys will be boys will be boys will be boys when she’s 20, a boy touches her hips and she jumps he asks her who the hell taught her to be scared like that and she wants to laugh doesn’t he know that boys will be boys? it took her 13 years to unlearn that lesson from the playground so I guess what I’m trying to say is i will talk until my voice is hoarse so that my little sister understands that aggression and affection are two entirely separate things baby they exist in difference universes my niece can’t even speak yet but I think I’ll start with her now don’t ever accept the excuse that boys will be boys don’t ever let him put his hands on you like that if you see hate blazing in his eyes don’t you ever confuse it with love baby love won’t hurt when it comes you won’t have to hide it under long sleeves during the summer and the only reason he should ever reach out his hand is to hold yours”

—

Fortesa Latifi - Boys Will Be Boys 

(And Why That Is The Stupidest Thing You Could Ever Say To A Little Girl)

[hobbitingryffindor]

Today, October 20th is Domestic Violence Awareness Day.

Don't ever say boys will be boys. Don't ever be the reason a young girl confuses violence for affection.

[frodo-sam]

Happy Birthday, Frodo Baggins and Bilbo Baggins (September 22)! And a very happy hobbit day!

[hobbitingryffindor]

And yes, I scheduled this post last year to post today so I wouldn't forget.

[talkingharrystyles]

Absolutely amazing 🏳️‍🌈🫶🌈

[lolsomeone-actually]

HERE ARE THE PICS causw I wanted to see and saw no one posted (link to profile: https://instagram.com/henryjimenz?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= )

So beautiful!!!

[hobbitingryffindor]

It's officially PRIDE!!!

[supremeprince-bensolo]

STAR WARS MOVIES & TV SHOWS

Happy Star Wars Day!

May 4th 2022

[witchesversuspatriarchy]

Thought this could fit in well here

[priscilladyke]

Ok I don’t mean to be doing this too often but I literally just wrote a paper about this so I thought I would comment! The English translation is The Cursed Woman but the original French is La Femme Damnée. “Femmes Damnées” was the title of a Baudelaire poem from his acclaimed 1857 book Fleurs du mal, which was known, among other things, to be a collection that famously dealt with the subject of lesbians. The poem tells the story of the desires and passionate love between two lesbians: Delphine and Hippolyte. As a result of this poem and of the book as a whole, the terms “fleurs du mal” and “femme damnée” became lesbian monikers of the turn of the century. Though some have deemed the term “damned women” to be accusatory of some moral dissonance, the poem it is derived from is actually quite sympathetic to the condition of lesbian love as it is a love which is unable to fully flourish in that time. Regardless, the translated title of Tassaert’s painting is misleading, as the original French is less accusatory and more identifying. The title is more accurately “the lesbian.”

[hobbitingryffindor]

No better way to celebrate Lesbian Visibility Day

[lazysmirk]

Just in case you forget this exists.

It exists.

[dragonofdarknesschaos]

With those “when you want to design a character but you don’t know color theory” posts flying around I thought this would be relevant again.

[secretsivekept]

SLAMs THE REBLOG BUTTON

[niyarest]

there’s also Coolors website that gives you randomized palettes!

[tf2humbug]

Don’t forget ColourLovers, either! It’s a social media-esque site where you can browse tons of palettes and share your own.

You can browse the most popular ones or search for certain colors, themes, and even specific hex codes!

When you find one you like, you can download a wallpaper swatch of it and also select the specific colors it uses to look at more palettes that use those same ones.

ColourLovers is my go-to for when I’m having trouble coming up with a color scheme! It’s also been around for over a decade, so there’s plenty to browse through.

[princesscolumbia]

I do love me a good color palet.

[princeanxious]

Aaa yes these websites are gr8 💛💛💛

[pyrettafoley]

Hey

[dwaterson21]

Reblogging to spread the good word of Adobe Color (aka Kuler). And best of all, it’s completely free. Which is surprising to most people because it’s Adobe.

[hamletthedane]

Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

[emeraldastral]

Bringing this around for 2023 (scheduled so maybe I actually remember to look at it lol)

[jadedgenasi]

I've seen this before, but it's been years and it just came across my Twitter in its dying days. The words are from a favorite author of mine, Maggie Stiefvater, and they are the words I most need to hear when it comes to dealing with chronic pain and illness. I didn't need this the first time I saw it, six years ago. I need it now. Maybe you do, too.

[ashleysjohnson]

Cobie Smulders as SIMONE in High School (2022)

[hobbitingryffindor]

I wanted to watch this show before.... but now I really need to. 

[manny-jacinto]

THE MANDALORIAN Chapter 17 ‘The Apostate’ + reddit text posts

[onlytwitterpics]

[aqueerkettleofish]

#i know people have started criticizing the#‘men are afraid of getting laughed at women are afraid of getting killed’#but this is real?

Oh, yes.

A few years ago I went to pick up a woman I met on OKCupid for a date, and a friend of hers was there. They kind of over-explained “Oh, she just showed up to say hi” and there was a vague nervousness in the air that even my autistic ass was picking up on. Her friend was playing conspicuously with her phone. I went “Ah, the safety. Need to get a picture?”

Dead silence for about a second and a half, then the friend took a picture, looked at my date, and said “Have fun” and walked out the door.

(I would ordinarily have been clueless, but I’d just been asked to be the safety the previous night.)

My advice to male-presenting folks: recognize that this not your problem. By which I mean, this sort of security check isn’t a problem for you. It doesn’t hurt you. You aren’t being insulted or disrespected. And if you treat it like what it is– a reasonable adaptation to an unreasonable situation– and just roll with it, your dates will be more comfortable, and you will have a better time as a result.

The same applies to phone calls mid-date. Let them answer the damn phone without drama.

They aren’t accusing you of being a dangerous person. The very fact that they are willing to go on a goddamn date with you means that they have extended a certain level of trust. But the fact remains that there isn’t really a way to distinguish between “a man who isn’t dangerous” and “a man who knows how to behave like he’s not dangerous.”

[kawuli]

there isn’t really a way to distinguish between “a man who isn’t dangerous” and “a man who knows how to behave like he’s not dangerous.”

[lilblueorchid]

A spring that cannot be replaced 

Daily 30 min Paintings from pinterest photo reference! It’s a fun exercise I was doing back in 2021 and I felt like trying out again. It makes me happy to draw peaceful landscape outside of my work.  Also spring is in the air, and it’s making me so happy. 

[hobbitingryffindor]

These are 30-minute paintings? 🤯🤯🤯 sweet baby jesus I could not do this with 3 hours. I need to work daily art practice into my life

[xiaq]

Small Town Grocery Store Stories: LGBTQ+ friendly edition

Me: minding my own damn business in the grocery store

One of my students and a few of his teammates enter the dairy aisle. 

My student is holding hands with one of his teammates. 

My student: Oh hey, Professor X!

Me, who has both my student and his girlfriend in my class: …Hello

My student, looking at his hand-holding partner: Oh! Don’t worry. My girlfriend knows. Not that I’m cheating! I’m not cheating. I’m not gay.

Hand Holding boy: Not that being gay is a bad thing! It’s a good thing!

My student: Right! But no, listen. We aren’t together, we just hold hands in public sometimes.

Hand Holding Boy: Especially on Friday nights. And weekends. And at away games.

My student: Because sometimes people will say shit and then we can punch them! And if the fight started because someone was being homophobic, coach won’t get mad at us.

Hand Holding Boy: Always nice to punch a homophobe. And [gesturing to another boy in the group] maybe they’ll think twice about saying something to [other boy’s name] if he ever gets a boyfriend and wants to hold his hand for real. The Gay One, resigned but smiling: I’ve decided it’s sweet and not really fucking weird.

[the-long-gone-souls]

This is what “boys will be boys” is meant to be

[chaoticevilbean]

This is the best thing I’ve seen in a while.

[brytning]

Everyone knows it's that time of year when many people feel compelled to set goals to alter their body and restrict their food. The pressure to be thin is everywhere---it's the water we swim in. If you want to take care of your body, I hope this is the year you learn more about weight-neutral approaches to health! The Health At Every Size movement and books by fat activist Aubrey Gordon are great places to start!

[eruvadhril]

hmm yes but also: it is not your duty to be healthy and for many that is as impossible a goal as being thin disregarding genetic illnesses we are all one accident away from being disabled or chronically ill i think that is also important to remember. just as being thin is not a moral good nor is being healthy and people who can't be either are not bad (via aceofblueheart)

[mysharona1987]

[biglawbear]

It's always fucking Reagan

[persephinae]