goochland chili’s gloryhole

Mercury 23 he/him Alabama

[gremlinizer]

if we’re mutuals feel free to

[zedogica]

having a body made of meat sucks ass

[engygeron-deactivated20260524]

we're not made of meat! and we'll always be with you

[zedogica]

kill dorothy fuck the lion marry the tin man and i dont care about the other one

[tatters-the-bat]

[sandersstudies]

Me: man I wish I knew more of my neighbors better

My nine-year-old neighbor: *crashes mom’s car into my yard*

Me: Be careful what you wish for I suppose

[sandersstudies]

Honestly my first draft of this post said “my neighbor’s son” and then I was like wait a second that’s functionally the same as saying “my cousin’s sister.” That’s still my cousin and that’s still my neighbor.

[sandersstudies]

Stop saying Calvin and Hobbes it’s important to me that Calvin is six and not nine.

[the-lincyclopedia]

I take it the nine-year-old was literally driving the vehicle?

[sandersstudies]

The nine-year-old was literally driving the vehicle after knocking the gear shift into Drive apparently by accident. Seven- and five-year-olds in the backseat. Nine-year-old knows in movies people stomp down on the thing on the floor and the car stops. He stomps. It is the gas.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[warcrimesimulator]

[thundergrace]

You just KNOW they talking about anime.

[radicalmuscle-deactivated-2019]

She’s wearing a Naruto shirt, his jacket has the Leaf Village symbol on the sleeve.

They’re definitely talking about anime (probably Naruto).

[egberts]

my fave part is that they’re at a coach fashion show

[ferretteeth]

[monotonee-roses]

Okay but so many names from TAZ Steeplechase would be SUCH GOOD DRAG NAMES.

-Tickolas Nesla

-Dominic Goodparty

-Beef Punchley

-Thikc Allyn

-Scott Boldflex

[rioblitzle]

i go to the shop and I ask if they have any raspberries. they say no, they used to sell raspberries, but they haven't had any in stock in the last 15 years. I ask if there's somewhere else I can go to buy raspberries. They say no, with confidence and pride, they're the only shop around who has ever sold or will ever sell raspberries. Other shops might sell other fruit, sure, but they have a monopoly on all raspberries forever. I ask if they're possibly planning on them selling them again in future? they say they can't tell me that.

on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they're free for all the town to pick whenever they'd like.

someone comes up behind us. It's the shop manager, President of Nintendo Shuntaro Furukawa. he hatefully throws a bob-omb that blows up and kills both of us instantly for stealing 200 trillion dollars worth of potential Raspberry Shop That Doesn't Do Raspberries Anymore profits that they weren't making and then he turns around to the camera with a big thumbs up and says don't do piracy or something ok please

[infertilityidol]

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

you make one fucking post where the point is “women are encouraged to develop disordered eating from a very young age and that impacts how we view the ‘natural’ size and shape of women” and too many reblogs later i am being accused of saying short people wouldn’t exist if they ate better growing up. i’m sorry but if you genuinely think i was saying that you are just a buffoon. i cannot and will not sanction your buffoonery.

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[eroscestlavie]

normally I would not just screenshot myself and post it here but it’s Friday and I’m feeling lazy

[important-animal-images]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Two animals who appreciate the Warm Lamp

[mikkeneko]

[creepycrag]

If you remember being a teenager you're a creep because you straight up saw yourself naked back then. The only way to be righteous is to obliterate your mind with drugs until you can't remember anything

[what-even-is-thiss]

If you’ve never had a properly rich friend as a person who grew up and/or currently is middle class to poor it’s kind of an insane experience.

One time a friend of mine told me that she only dates men who make over seven figures a year because she wants someone with a “similar life experience” and I still wonder if I should’ve told her that that particular standard might be one of the reasons she keeps finding terrible men

[paperandpencilsandskips]

[fightingbymoonlight]

Seeing people I know and like using AI is making me understand the protagonists of those old time sci fi dystopia's.

"Oh I don't normally use AI, I just wanted it to plan my trip"

You lived on this planet for decades, you know what you like, there are hundreds of websites where you can type into any search engine " things to do in [area]" and have at least a hundred different options.

"Oh I only use it so I can figure out what to make during the week with what I have"

The most popular website as you type in "recipes" into google have sections where you click dinner- quick and easy and those usually rely on staples + 1 or 2 items. I found 30 recipes on chicken alone.

"I had a writing idea, so I typed a few sentences into Chat GPT and I was able to write 20 pages with it."

Youdidn'twriteit.Youdidn'twriteit.youdidn'twriteit.youdidn'twriteit.YOUDIDN'TWRITEIT.YOUDIDN'TWRITEIT.YOUDIDN'TWRITEIT.