noabody @honestnoa - Tumblr Blog

Hey I’m polyam, and I’ve been scrolling through the polyam tag and I’m a little concerned about 2 things

1. The misconception that polyam is inherently lgbt+ and then tagging it as polyam positivity (most of which I noticed were not polyam), polyam is it’s own community outside of lgbt+ but many polyam are lgbt+ (not an exclusionist, I believe you should have freedom in gender identity and sexuality)

2. I keep seeing people ask “how did you know you were polyam”, which worries me because you shouldn’t have an identity crisis over whether or not your polyam. It’s a decision like “well I want to move out of my hometown and into a city”, not that that takes away polyamorous struggles but it is concerning to see. Maybe you struggle to come to that decision and maybe you don’t, but I encourage you to discuss with your partner (if you have one) or look into other people’s polyamorous struggles and relationships

Some people could be happier making that decision, and some aren’t, regardless it’s a lifestyle choice

#polyam #non monogomous #actually polyam #i post twice and its about polyam #my friends who are following me are staring in awe #rip to literally everyone who went to tumblr to avoid me ranting about polyam #now you have it on your dashboard #confused on why i keep seeing that question #not belittling #questioning things is valid af #just a little concerned

fardf150

Quick question: polyam people have a pride flag, so I was wondering if they're inherently lgbt+? They probably are, but no one really talks about it (to my knowledge) so I'm not sure.

(Do not answer this if you're an exclusionist thx <3)

honestnoa

Hello, I’m polyam, yes I know I rarely post anything and my account looks like a disaster

Polyamory is not inherently lgbt, everyone I talk to that’s polyamorous actually hates that flag for being visually unappealing, the person who made the flag was polyamorous and in the closet and created the flag for themselves and friends from what I read. They didn’t want to use the infinity heart

The infinity heart is a very used symbol in our community, you might recognize it placed over the flag as well, and as stated earlier it’s also been around longer then the flag (people often try to recreate the flag because they hate it so much)

Nonmonogamy is a choice to consensually date multiple people, many people who are monogamous have felt attraction while being loyal to their significant other (I have several family members like this)

Quite frankly due to how many people I see who are lgbt and monogamous believing they can speak on the behalf of people who are polyamorous, I also think it’s better this way.

#This isn't even mentioning the asexuals and aromantics in the community #Which again proves that it's more of a choice then it is an identity #A few might disagree #But I found a lot of people share this viewpoint #Please don't talk about polyamory if you're monogamous

barbex

Sources: https://twitter.com/myangryuniverse/status/1297616494176735234 https://twitter.com/_dankou/status/1298187651728715778

Aaand here we have the problem. Fandom is international and I’m sick and tired of american morals being set as the one rule to follow.

daisytje-deactivated20201204

American exceptionalism demands we conform to their standards. Even down to what form of English you use omg there’s tons of different versions of English deal with the fact that some of us write cheque instead of check which means something totally different in British English. There’s this moralising, judgemental pearl clutching which is uniquely American too and permeates fandom at every level, especially crusading white women with their white guilt and white saviour complex. Like, women in Africa and Asia (huuuge tracts of land with billions of people residing there) are perfectly able to fight their battles on their own, in a way which works for their culture? Why do you have to stick your oar in? It’s so infantising and demeaning.

White American feminism has done so much damage and it’s pervasive in fandom. It needs to stop.

corvidkusnos

I thought I’d add the first half of my tweet in case people don’t want to click through, but I think it’s definitely something that helps paint the picture of how Americanised fandom is:

Additionally from that, “ Even down to what form of English you use” - yes!! This!! I was basically expected from a young age in fandom to learn American English and change the way I spoke and if there was something I didn’t understand, I was ridiculed for it. And if I spoke in British English at any point, I was, again, met with ridicule - especially if I used slang that’s common among the working class (which the UK has a huge classism problem).

I could go on forever about the other things I’ve experienced in this way but honestly I’d rather not come across as “woe is me” or anything. Especially as when this topic is talked about, Americans want to believe it’s just a “Europeans wanting to be special” thing and not an international problem where non-Western people have spoken up about this exact problem, too.

But yeah, even though these are things that happen in general being on social media in general while being non-American, it pours over into fandom and what’s expected of you in that regard. And while American and European issues tend to share some overlap, there is no one-size-fits-all experience which people just don’t want to acknowledge.

I think understanding that complex issues don’t always have a black and white answer to it is scary for people to accept (especially as oftentimes situations that should have a black and white answer tend to get treated as though it’s a grey area when they’re not), but alas.

(Also I am aware not every American is like this and there are those with genuinely good intentions)

therealmnemo

^^^^^^

disaster-j

I actually think about this A Lot. Every time I read fanfics that are set in Japan or Thailand or Korea and the set up is completely americanised and everyone is using American slang and it is painfully clear the author has taken zero time or effort to actually learn what life is like in the respective countries.

I’m sick of seeing anime fics where people can’t afford to go to the doctor. Sick of reading fics where a high school in Korea somehow magically operates like an american public school. Sick of having tags flooded with Christmas fics every December where non Christian people in asian countries are celebrating a traditional christmas.

WHAT IS NORMAL FOR YOU IS NOT ALWAYS NORMAL FOR THE REST OF THE WORLD.

Yet for some reason that is the norm and it is what everyone does and how everyone writes and it is accepted by one and all on the internet because according to the internet the american way is the right way and everything else is not.

If I were to write fics about non Indian characters in countries outside of India and incorporate my culture in them it would be a crime. People would leave comment after comment going “um actually this is how things work” and others may even send me hate tell me I’m stupid and I shouldn’t write and so on and so forth. Yet, the fact that fandom is so Anglo centric and has almost entirely whitewashed and westernized non white and non american works and characters is “just how things are.”

Well they shouldn’t fucking be.

daydreamingofdragons

Seeing as Brit-Picking for fics set in the UK written by non-Brits seems to have mostly fallen by the wayside when it used to be almost an expectation, I am sadly not surprised in the slightest that fandom is even worse about other cultures.

paddysnuffles

Word.

The amount of Star Trek fics where the characters use Imperial instead of Metric irks me to no end (for those who aren’t familiar with the franchise, it is explicitly established canon that Metric is the sole system of measurement used in the future).

The same thing happens all the time with fics set in countries which use metric (which is literally 98.5% of the world).

I’ve had people outright tell me that I was spelling things wrong because I spelled things using Canadian English, being told that “color doesn’t have a U in the word”.

Like, if an American character is spelling something out then yes, you should use the American spelling because it’s what they’d use. But for the purposes of narration and dialogue, the spelling that you use should be the spelling from your dialect.

It’s acceptable for tween writers to impose their lived reality on characters of different nationalities because they’re still at the stage where they’re learning to to even tell a story. In their case, it works like literary training wheels. And you can tell when a writer fits this category. The kinds of issues and mistakes in their writing are very distinct. Plus, they’re still learning how to research.

But if you’re past your tweens, you have the necessary skills to research how things are like in other countries.

If you don’t want to research, at the very least contrive a logical reason for the characters to be in the setting that you’re familiar with. Are the characters Korean exchange students? Send them on a student exchange.

I remember reading a True Blood fic where the writer was Swedish so they found a reason for the main character move to Sweden.

When it’s logically possible, I nationality-swap American main characters and make them Canadian so I can write them with confidence (e.g. Darcy Lewis from the Marvel Cinematic Universe).

And when a story is set in another country/the character is of a different culture? I do my damn research.

kurara-black-blog

Man, this. Just this. From the big things to the small, day to day stuff like

I’m tired of looking for Christmas fics and getting snow when my Christmas is at summer because, guess what? Inverted seasons! Those characters warming up by the fireplace? Throw them at a beach or at least at a 30°C sunny day.

Starbucks every day? Friend, unless you’re fucking rich and willing to find a shopping mall that has one/look for one at the very centre of the city, you better just be content with some pure coffee at the padaria (which, hello! We don’t have many cafes here, but a padaria will probably do more for you than a cafe anyways)

Spring break? Honey, you get three months of vacation: January, July and December. If you wanna a break, you better pray for holidays. Also, school year starts in February and ends in November, just to make sure we’re all in the same page. And no, we don’t get A+, we get 10 points, because numbers are easier for everyone than whatever the hell “A+” means

And don’t even get me started with the damn inches. Or the fucking fahrenheit. The first one is basically only used when measuring the size of screens and the second one is just to give highschool Physics the “hated” status

ihearaquote

A Thing I had to Read

Turns out the cockroach was named Darrel.

I apologize for my inaccuracies.

Have nice day in the booty cheeks Darrel, <3

#I don't know you #How the fuck do you know about Darrel #Leaf what did you do #RIP Darrel the Roach 4/10/2020 #Hope the buggy bastard is burning in hell

I'm just going to post a lot and then pop off the face of the planet again

Which might be now so I guess I didn't post a lot but oh

On account of that time I found twitter users arguing about how insensitive piss jokes were, I have decided to never join twitter

#Ah yes the pisscourse incident of 2020 #Was it 2020?#Pretty sure it was 2020

Y'alls entrails ever sound like a whale?

I'm like a wild animal in the sense I try to hide and not be perceived and if I do choose to approach you it is either cautiously and slowly or I'm storming towards you at full speeds making threatening noises

#This is both irl and online #I am a social disaster #I have gotten into relationships by accident on multiple occasions #Someone asked how I was doing and I told them I don't know thne had an emotional crisis on them #My first interaction with one of my friends is how a cockroach fell not only into my pants but also in my underwear

honestnoa

Every once in a great while I post something strange, but only something strange and fandom related but this means months and maybe even years down the road I get a notification someone liked or reblogged it and then I have to stare at this awful post I made and wonder what the fuck I was thinking

honestnoa

I made the horrible mistake of looking back at all of my posts to figure out what completes this shitshow and now I’m being haunted by “my dog barked and I shoved a burger in my mouth by accident” because I can’t remember this and I’m trying to understand how the fuck that even happens and this is going to keep me up at night

the-bitch-mob

fuck it. be creative even if you never really *make* anything. write out plot synopses of stories and then move on. design OCs you'll never use. make mood boards and concept art and don't do anything with them. life's too short to forget everything that inspired you and creation doesn't have to be "complete" to be worth the time you put into it.

mellifexfarm

Hot hot hot hot chocolate

HEY WE GOT IT

mellifexfarm

jawd