Darling, Dearest, Dead.

Lauren • INFP • Jellyfish animals, art, makeup, movies IG: sick_science

[irondive]

[ellaandtheocean]

Humpback whales breaching: gorgeous, majestic, graceful, embodies all the strength and beauty of the ocean

Minke whales breaching: I will launch myself out of this ocean like a f***ing surface-to-air missile to seek and destroy my enemies

[gallusrostromegalus]

I remember an interview with a guy that did the camera work for nature documentaries and he said that baleen whales like these guys were the scariest things to shoot because “They’re the size of a train, they can suddenly appear out of nowhere in dark or murky water and they don’t make a goddamn sound. I was absolutely sure that one of them was going to hit me and well, ‘that’s all folks!’. Gave me a lot of perspective on how I handle myself when filming smaller animals now.”

[a-book-of-creatures]

Fin whales breaching: sea serpent

[fleshdyke]

levitating minke whale

[plaguedocboi]

Sperm whale breaching: wjaht the fuck

[necronatron]

I have a feeling I have already shared this, but please, take the contribution of the northern right whale dolphin.

The humble eyebrow

[parkchanwoohoo]

Dumbest shit ever just happened to-- it didn't happen to me, I shouldn't be using passive language here. I just did the dumbest shit ever

[parkchanwoohoo]

1. Light candle

2. Realize you forgot to smell the candle beforehand to see if you'll like it

3. Bring lit candle directly to your nose to smell it

4.

[rslashrats]

grab your nonbinary unspecified body part and do something vague to it

[parkchanwoohoo]

if u get second job i'll you

YOU'LL ME??

[pidgefudge]

hello 👋 i am the worlds smallest bug 🐛 and ☝️ i too would like to “fag it up” if i may

[padofwan]

The thing is "Padawan. Steal a car." is actually one of the oldest and noblest Jedi traditions. Part of the standard duties of being a Padawan involves securing the getaway vehicle when your assignment has gone sideways six times over and developed into a full Situation. They have all done this. I know in my heart that even Luminara at some point looked at a situation and sighed and asked Barriss to please steal a car before the shooting starts.

[cjskribblez]

Maul becomes worst girldad ever asked to leave

[nyanakin]

space chicken parm indicates the existence of space american-italians indicating the existence of space new jersey thereby indicating the existence of space tony soprano do you follow

[c4zer]

i follow, however star wars takes place a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, therefore there is not simply a space new jersey, but an eternal new jersey that has existed perhaps since the beginning of time.

[frederickchiltonsdivacup]

Give a man a fanfic, and he will read for a day. Teach a man to write, and he still won't do it.

He'll think about it though, and boy oh boy, he'll be thinking about it...

[some-kind-of-robot]

Favorite trope from real life experiences

[stone-stars]

[ID: Two characters looking at each other, both thinking "I want to be closer to you but I'm afraid I'll fail and you'll find me annoying"]

[mlarayoukai-archive]

cat

[cryptratfromrunescape]

IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA!!!

[butchlyblue]

My dick is wet and my pussy’s hard. So what?

[homunculus-argument]

Cropping out their logo because fuck giving them free advertising, but this random ad was still too funny. You can do anything, fulfill your wildest dreams, like being literally just some guy.

[theterribletenno]

NOW WITH MUSHROOM !

[bunniope]

made a transparent version if anyone desires such a thing

[by-grace-of-god]

Le Figaro have a newly published photograph from inside Notre Dame shortly before the roof collapsed, as molten lead fell into the nave. (+)

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

This is what I love about photojournalism. It is just a history of moments where human beings have gone “I know I should really be hauling ass out of here but I have to get a picture of this”

[theconcealedweapon]

[maarvarq]

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

[theconcealedweapon]

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

[tiny-space-whale]

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.

[prokopetz]

"But how can you justify a player character with a (non-disinherited) noble background in a dungeon-crawling fantasy game" well, the most obvious approach is a fantasy setting whose nobility practices cognatic primogeniture where, instead of "first son inherits, second son goes into the military, third son becomes a priest", it's "first son inherits, second son goes into the military, third son becomes an adventurer". From the player's perspective, it handily explains why the title comes with little material support from the family; from the family's perspective, there's an unspoken understanding that most of the spare heirs will be eaten by a dragon (or whatever), thereby simplifying the inheritance situation, and the few survivors will become great assets.

(There is, of course, the possibility that a surviving third son, having grown powerful and understandably harbouring some slight resentment, may return, kill his elder brothers with dark magic, and take over the dynasty, but in practice this almost never happens.)

[therealbeachfox]

As an added bonus, if you, the first born son, ever run into -true- trouble, you probably have a few aunts/uncles/second-cousins hanging around who can bring utterly insane amounts of force (political, physical, magical, whichever) down upon it for you.

Very few adventuring-third-children nobles have any desire to take on all the hassle and responsibility of running a noble estate when they finally return home after years of seducing dragons and fighting gods. They just want a nice comfy chair, lots of respect, and all the wine they can drink. And in exchange, they occasionally pull a few fistfuls of gems out of the ol Bag of Infinite Holding, tell stories about that time they cut the head off that giant dragon whole's bones are a mountain range now, and head on down to the Senate Chambers to incinerate whoever's making their sweet nephew so upset these days.

[kyraneko]

Or, it's still "third son becomes a priest" but it's more of a paladin or cleric or warlock situation most of the time.

Some dynasties have an Arrangement with a specific patron, and third sons are given to them, and if there isn't at least one third son every few generations or so, there might be a catastrophic downfall in the family fortunes. If they're really desperate, a second son might be shunted into the place in question.

Of course, the second son's military career might end up in adventurer territory as well. They lost and got scattered. He refused to follow bad orders and got thrown out. He fought a fellow soldier in an illegal duel and had to flee for his life. He got taken prisoner and escaped a prison on the far side of the mountain range. The nation got annexed by the next empire over and they don't trust the soldiers. Peace happened and the army got cashiered and after a taste of freedom and his own command he really doesn't wanna go back and take orders from big brother.

And on the rare occasion that a third son arrives home with a wagonload of gold, a magic sword, and biceps that have their own zip code and usurps the title, maybe it's the firstborn son who is forced into adventuring.

There's always the possibility for any child who doesn't like their lot in life to go adventuring to escape it, as well. Firstborn son doesn't want the stodgy set of responsibilities? Bard. Second son doesn't like the army? Fuck off and become a druid. Third son doesn't want to join the church? He's packed up his hunting bow and arrows and become a ranger with a troupe of adventurers.

To say nothing about the possibility of a noble son getting disowned, inheriting nothing because his father gambled the estate away and having to go adventuring to restore the family fortunes, or finding out at the reading of the will that he's actually a bastard and here's the same 100 silver coins each of the servants got, now fuck off.

Truly, there's plenty of options. He's here, he's stylish, he's conceited, he's never done his own laundry, he speaks six ancient classical languages and can quote shitloads of ancient poetry, he doesn't know how to take his own boots off, he's a decent hand with a rapier, he thinks sirloin steaks are peasant food, and he's your party's problem now.

Have fun.