@starsmattersinpoetry

✨ the sun & good loving ✨

[starsmattersinpoetry]

I found God woven into the strands of your hair in the backseat of my car.

baby sometimes the electronic socket can be left alone, sometimes the blood is just blood.

I found summer tucked into your shoes and under your nails.

sweetheart even drowning can be an act of compassion if you’ve lived a wrong enough life, sweetheart even gray is overwhelming.

-I’m gonna break my knuckles while I wait under you bed

[starsmattersinpoetry]

sometimes it’s the white lines on the highway that teaches me what being alive really means in the dead heat of the night. sometimes I bow my head again! and again! and again! but I still find myself at the dead end of summer

God (mom) if you have something to carve into the tree I cant help but find the front bumper of my car mended with now would be the time

God (mom) if there was ever a time to turn your eyes away it sure wasn’t the last three year

GOD (mom) if you ever really had a plan for me why have you left me in the corn fields tonight

- bite down or up I dont think it matters anymore

[starsmattersinpoetry]

I used to think I loved you so much I could out drown the sea,

I used to think I loved you so much I could out run the sun,

I know I love you so much I out lived the winter.

do you remember when when my hair was long, and he told me no one would wait at the back door until I was ready to take my fingers from between my teeth?

do you remember when we would stay up all night to get drunk off the touch of each others skin, and you told me happy was not a destination but a promise?

because you’ve been there through the wrong kind of love, through the sand storms, and all the way through that fucking winter.

- and I’ll be here for as long as you’ll have me

[starsmattersinpoetry]

I’m dying here unwashed, twenty five feet away from a hometown that chose to sink its claws into someone else’s cheek.

it’s not that I’ve spoon feed love to a place that closes its eyes to my unfiltered screaming that hurts the most, it’s that I’m still fucking left empty after hours of shutting the windows when the cold rolls through.

call me a girl seeking hope in someone else’s stream, call me too unbroken to ever be swallowed whole again, but don’t call me unworthy of a heart of the heavens.

I’m dying here, and that’s never been problem until I realized I deserve so much more than 3 minutes of hands on the floor, scraped knees, bloody nose kind of praying.

- and my hometown takes her cold hand and kisses it gently

[starsmattersinpoetry]

i take a bath and pretend the lukewarm water is good enough, the sunlight I can’t feel on my skin is good enough, the pressure that’s building is a trick of the mind.

i go for a run and act as if the trees will cure the empty radling inside of me, the fresh air will finally smother the fire that’s boiling over, the beating of my heart means it’s all coming together.

i go to bed and tell myself I’ll wake up better, closer to the girl I picture in my dreams, something anything other than what I woke as yesterday.

- I do it again and again and again, but this time something CHANGES

[starsmattersinpoetry]

they told me waiting up all night collecting dust was for suckers, only children make the mistake of hoping.

you said if I lived through the dying you’d find something worth loving, and I stitched my wounds, I swalloed fist fulls of blood, I cleaned the mess up before you could see the struggle.

but there was always something else I didn’t cut myself on,

but there was always more to choke on,

BUT, who said love meant anything in the grad scheme of things

- they said I’m only a product of the wolf and the lies he screams

[starsmattersinpoetry]

I let you grip too hard I guess, let you believe I was something sweet to keep in your cheeks. I guess at the end of the day I twisted my own arm behind my back and slammed my fingers in the door.

I’m sorry I built this mountain and made you climb it all by yourself, but don’t tell me you don’t bite your lip just to bleed. don’t tell me you didn’t wish that some nights I cried a little harder, ran the car off the road.

- what lovely lust you keep tucked in your pockets my dear boy

[dankmemeuniversity]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[mothcub]

[jamminontheone]

[absurdwanderlust]

alright whoever is controlling my life via Netflix please make it more interesting thank you

[thepuppyclub]

I’ll be honest…I don’t want a career. I don’t want to work. I want to be LEFT ALONE and paid for it. 

[nitrogen]

By Vince Farone

[graffquotes]

[ave-boy]

[shesnake]

The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018) dir. Desiree Akhavan