Used To Think My Sorrow Was A Brick Wall

Dramatic side blog. Healing is tough. Depression, anxiety, emotional struggles. Title lyrics from “Blue Healer” by Birdtalker

[feralkitten420]

"You need to relax"

Best I can do is dissociate

[lizardho]

I’m reading a book on biofeedback trainings right now and they talk about this. The words “try” or “need” add pressure to stuff. Sometimes switching from “I need to calm down” or “I’m trying to slow my breathing” to “I’m allowing myself to calm down a little more with each exhale” or “I’m giving myself permission to slow my breathing” can be more helpful. There’s a difference between “try to relax the muscle” and “allow the muscle to soften” that is significant enough that for some people it can totally change the outcome of a relaxation exercise.

For other tips and tricks, instead of asking “why” you can’t change a thought/feeling (why being an offensive question, meaning it forces you to respond defensively - in this case defending the emotion you don’t like) you can ask “is there any leeway or wiggle room with this feeling/thought/belief for something else?” Oftentimes we know multiple things at once, and by allowing for a small amount of ambiguity we can start to accept the situation more fully.

[financeprincess]

Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.

[vomitmanpukes]

I hate when people act like getting medicated for you mental illness or neurological condition is somehow giving up on yourself. This is me making an effort. This is me reclaiming my life. Giving up would be not taking the treatment I need.

[389]

Center for Humans & Nature Aldo Fontana             

[akindplace]

Keep in mind that you are free to walk away from those who don't see you as deserving of any assistance, any support. You are. You always were.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

"you don't know what you have until you lose it" works for things that suck too btw. sometimes you need to experience life without something for a while to realise oh damn that was some bullshit

[bloodyhandprint]

did you know avoidance only makes all of your problems worse. no one has ever discovered this before

[rebelculture]

[sweet-fig]

when brene brown said "vulnerability is the path back to each other" and bell hooks wrote “cynicism is the great mask of the disappointed and betrayed heart” and amir levine wrote "if you want to take the road to independence and happiness, find the right person to depend on and travel down it with that person" and thich nhat hanh said "you cannot resist loving another person when you really understand them" and barbara l fredrickson wrote "your past moments of love and connection make you lastingly wiser"

basically that to be loved is to be seen, that vulnerability is the key to a joyful life, and that cynicism refrains us from the beautiful impact of intimacy

[steamandcream]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[steamandcream]

sorry to put your tags on blast on this insane breach containment post I have since muted, but you're right and you should say it.

It is defeatable. Go for the throat.

[thesweetiepienovels]

Actually, you are enough. Even if you don’t work. Or study. Or go out. Or have friends. Or have family. You’re enough because you exist and your existence is enough to be enough because you are not a product. You are not a sum of output. You are not a task to complete. But because you are something the universe wanted and put here even if you’ll never understand why. Somewhere in the cosmos your existence makes a difference, even if it’s not the way others existences do.

[urmomswifesworld]

[soft-butch-cassidy]

depression tips™

shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.

moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 

put on clean, comfortable clothes. 

put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.

drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 

blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 

make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.

go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.

cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.

[theladyjanedoe-deactivated20221]

[autisticjoy]

THINGS THAT CAN BE TRUE AT THE SAME TIME:

* Your parents did the best they could, AND their choices wounded you.

* You love someone AND you know it’s not healthy to keep them in your life.

* You’re terrified to take the next step AND you know it’s the right thing to do.

* You want to have healthy relationships AND unresolved trauma is making it difficult.

* You’re afraid to fail AND you believe in yourself.

@drheidigreen

[swordshapedleaves]

Someday your hands will be old and wrinkled, the skin spotted and bunching over your knuckles. And a child will watch you make something. It's a simple task, you'll have done it a thousand times before. But to that child, the smooth, confident way your hands move will seem like impossible magic. You have to keep living.

[swordshapedleaves]

prev these tags have me crying. this is absolutely what it's all about

[transpigeon]

STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:

transition

bdsm

iron supplements

[spirit-of-science]

sleep study

ADHD medication

DBT

[headedoutleft]

vitamin D

go outside for an hour and observe birds

eat a snack

[trackerkitsune]

drink water

[ineffable-writer]

Maybe do these in reverse order

[armandology]

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this