Hot As Eff

Welcome to the jungle... the jungle being a metaphor for the insufferable heat you will experience while viewing this blog. You may become victim to dehydration from continuous drooling, and, like a jungle, you will become lost and possibly terrified by the dark, twisted inner workings of my mind. But rest assured, it will be worth it. Now, join me, as we explore the fabulously delicious men who I consider to be the gold stars of humanity; the men who I consider to be... Hot As Eff.

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FACT 26: Your heart beats to the bass of Benedict's voice.

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FACT #25: Tom Hiddleston is what happens when you use every cheat on a Sims character, and it comes to life.

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FACT #24: Everyday that passes is just another day of wondering why she hasn't changed her name to HOTillard.

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FACT #23: Connecting the dots with Eddie's freckles will map out every constellation in the sky, proving that he is in fact from the heavens. (more like Orion's BELOW the Belt, amiright ladies?)

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FACT #22: This is what you want waiting for you at the Pearly Gates. The Pearly Gates being a Handsome Gentleman's Club where there is velvet wallpaper, crystal chandeliers, and jazz music competing with hardy laughs & the clinging of glasses with 3 fingers of bourbon.

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FACT #21: Richard Madden is just as confused about how good-looking he is as the rest of us.

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FACT #20: Holy fucking shit.

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FACT #19: When "a man" told "a girl" to come with him, you yelled at the tv "facking GO with him!"

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FACT #18: Jeremy Renner makes you question everything you've ever known up until this point in your life. And then you realize life didn't matter before him.

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FACT #17: The term "cockpit" is being deemed both inappropriate and totally appropriate ever since Mike Vogel got his wings.

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FACT #16: When shirts hug Michael Fassbender, they whisper "just let me do this."

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FACT #15: The sun rises when Hadley Fraser wakes up and sings "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes." (can we make this recording happen cuz that would be awesome)

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FACT #14: Chris Martin's voice opened another dimension that is reminiscent of the sidewalk chalk world in Mary Poppins.

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FACT #13: Searches for pictures of Anton Yelchin has led to an increase of searches for his birthday. 1989 ladies, your fantasies may continue.

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FACT #12: The equilibrium of the planet's happiness is dependent on Shemar Moore rolling around with a dozen golden Lab puppies on a daily basis.

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FACT #11: Sunsets stare pensively at Joel McHale.

(and that one's for you, Amaranth03)

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FACT #10: Chuck Norris fights off bears with his hands, and then he writes fanmail to Sean Bean.

(that's for you, duchessofwords)