Juliet Defense Squad

two idiot teenagers writing a musical about shakespeare... // photo credit: ummmmandy

[jacobtheloofah]

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this was funnier when i came up with it, and i also now realize this is a bit of a specific reference

[daily-benvolio]

Today Benvolio pet his cats.

[hotdayinverona]

Benvolio pet his cats???? So good!!!!

[kichiquax-draws]

Okay do y’all remember the post about merging all of shakespeares plays into one?

Well a local youth theater group did a similar thing, they merged “Macbeth”, “Romeo and Juliet”, “Much Ado About Nothing” and “A Midsummernights Dream” into one production. It was hilarious.

[hotdayinverona]

“Much Ado About A Dream About Romeo Montague and Juliet Macbeth” is my favorite play!

[hotdayinverona]

Don't be bitter, 'cause I'm fitter.

Mercutio at some point, probably.

[mega-taiga]

knhdgjkfjhjkdfjkdgdkjldkfjghs??????

[crankyteapot]

behold a man

[hotdayinverona]

oH MY- 

[rackhamjack]

Bill Hader in Macgruber sketch

[hotdayinverona]

Damn, Gilderoy Lockheart aged great compared to Harry...

[angry-prince-of-cats]

How do you feel about Lord Capulet's foot fetish?

Excuse me his what?

[hotdayinverona]

His foot fetish. Please rate it on a scale from one to ten [where one is heavily disgusted and ten is desperately aroused]

[lovelyisthedawn]

“I dreamt a dream tonight.

—And so did I.

Well, what was yours?

—That dreamers often lie.”

- Romeo // Mercutio, Romeo & Juliet

[hotdayinverona]

“I had a dream last night.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“What did you dream about?”

“That you’re bullshitting SO HARD right now, literally just stop.”

[angry-prince-of-cats]

why do you hate the montagues so damn much dude

They’re VILLIANS! They’re the personification of everything I hate. Especially that Benvolio. With his soft hair and bright eyes and talk of peace. Who does that man think he is??? Jesus??? I hate all Montagues. End of story.

[hotdayinverona]

That sounds pretty gay, Tybalt.

[maginthebag]

PSA

Romeo is a bottom

[hotdayinverona]

sneak peek from the musical:

[jdotleaf]

Mercutio: Hey loser, say ‘kid’ backwards.

Tybalt: Dik.

Mercutio: HAhaHAhaHa that’s gay.

(They fight)

[classic-starters]

sentence starters from ROMEO AND JULIET ( 1597 )

“my bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more i give to thee, the more i have, for both are infinite.”

“don’t waste your love on somebody who doesn’t value it.”

“parting is such sweet sorrow.”

“my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.”

“thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.”

“love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.”

“he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night.”

“what’s in a name?”

“these violent delights have violent ends.”

“i defy you.”

“my only love sprung from my only hate.”

“you are a lover.”

“i dreamt a dream tonight.”

“peace? i hate the word as i hate hell.”

“but soft! what light through yonder window breaks?”

“it is my lady, o, it is my love!”

“turn him into stars and form a constellation in his image.”

“o! she doth teach the torches to burn bright.”

“beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear.”

“how art thou out of breath when thou hast breath to say to me that thou art out of breath?”

“he jests at scars that never felt a wound.”

“is love a tender thing? it is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn.”

“i must be gone and live, or stay and die.”

“what sadness lengthens your hour?”

“a plague on both your houses.”

[lilac2621]

Over the weekend I saw Romeo and Juliet at a small local outdoor theater (Ohio Shakespeare Festival, for anybody who cares). AND THERE WAS THIS ONE SCENE THAT COMPLETELY BLEW MY QUEER MIND. To set this up, Benvolio was being played by a woman, Romeo by a man, and Mercutio by a man (they had a woman play Tybalt, too, but that’s beside the point). ANYWAY, Benvolio was giving off serious lesbian vibes because she was hanging around with her two best guy friends, talking about loving women, going to parties to find attractive women, getting affectionately frustrated with the boys and their problems, etc. But then during the Queen Mab speech Mercutio jokingly KISSED Benvolio. Benvolio was all grossed out and had this look on their face that said ‘ew gross a dude just kissed me ew Mercutio why’d you do that ew’, and Mercutio went on with his dramatic rendition and everything. So I was left trying to figure out if the actors were playing Benvolio as a lesbian, Mercutio as gay, or BOTH. I’m 99% sure it was both. Thanks for coming to my very gay Shakespeare TED talk experience.

[elizabethan-memes]

The problem with having historical/ Shakespearean OTPs is it makes those ship memes/ask games really difficult.

“Which one does the laundry” Neither, they have servants. I don’t know whether Henry V “picks the Halloween costumes”. I’ll guess that Elizabeth of York has more family photos on her phone than Henry VII. I can’t decide whether Francis Walsingham would be the one to “put peeps in the microwave”. I am uncertain that Richard III “breaks more phones” than Anne Neville. (I am confident tho that Romeo would break more phones than Juliet.)

[hotdayinverona]

Romeo and Juliet characters as Zodiac signs

(we do not accept constructive criticism we are right)

Aries: Tybalt

Taurus: Benvolio

Gemini: Mercutio

Cancer: Lady Capulet

Leo: Lord Capulet

Virgo: Rosaline

Libra: Paris

Scorpio: Nurse

Sagittarius: Juliet

Capricorn: Lady Montague

Aquarius: Lord Montague

Pisces: Romeo