tell me we’ll never get used to it

eloise // she/her // i follow from @rosy-cheeked-girl // header by @meredithsdardenne // rosycheeked on ao3

[funstyle]

i legiterately always feel like that person on reddit who posted "is it weird if i go on a walk like is everyone gonna be freaked out". i feel like that every minute of every day

[uniformedwater]

music not hitting, phone not hitting, Minecraft not hitting, food not hitting, mouth taste like blood, death comes for us all

[sapphling]

idk how people whistle loud as fuck with their fingers in their mouth because my whistle is little + frail + delicate and every time i try to exploratorily figure it out myself i fail and just end up looking like i'm giving somebody the worst most amelia bedelia type hand blowjob of their life

[storyweavingspider]

“like i'm giving somebody the worst most amelia bedelia type hand blowjob of their life” what does this mean?

[sapphling]

hand blowjob: oral sex performed on the fingers, as elicited by my two fingers in my mouth as i attempt to initiate a whistle

amelia bedelia type: attempting to blow on the fingers to initiate a whistle elicits the image of somebody who thinks a "blowjob" involves physically blowing on the body part(s) of the recipient, which i believe would occur if you were to receive oral sex from amelia bedelia

worst: i am aware of my shortcomings

[wrigglewormz]

Quite frankly yall need to be projecting more on the doms. Make the DOM have guilty sexual fantasies !!! Maybe the DOM is shamefully staring at the ceiling after waking up from a dream!!! Yall are cowards. Do none of you have any appreciation for the noble dom identity crisis. Do none of you have any respect for guilty sadists with control issues and who desperately want autonomy for once in their damn lives and who just want to Keep someone, for once, who want to be allowed to Want and Take . Do NONE of yall have any respect for sadists realizing with horror how badly they want to hurt the person they would do anything to protect and take care of and make smile? Cowards, all of you.

[thememedaddy]

[wizardarchetypes]

your email found me at the grocery store irl. that's crazy that you gave it little legs and everything. it walked right up to me. everyone was so scared one person screamed when i picked it up. i said it's okay you just do this kind of thing sometimes. while i was reading, its little legs were just sort of dangling in the air. someone asked me if it's alive and if holding it like that made it uncomfortable. i told them idk i just get the emails i don't send them.

[transcyberism]

there are four human activities and they are crafting, stories, math, and fucking around. whatever you're doing is at least one of those four.

[byjove]

My dad used to say that the only men who are adamant about their female sexual partners being virgins before them and obsessed with women having low body counts are men who are extremely bad in bed and are afraid of their female sexual partners having anything to compare it to and the ability to recognize that sex is supposed to be good and that particular guy is not good. Which I believe to be true but it was a bizarre yet insightful bit of sex ed to get as a teenager.

[kneesbutt]

westfailia:

what if a catholic priest were to just bless the entire ocean would it turn the entire thing into holy water or do priests have an effective blessing range? does that range increase based on your level? can the pope bless the entire ocean?

so technically any priest could, but shouldn’t for pooping reasons. 

source: my brother is in his 4th year of study at a catholic seminary, and referred to one of his professors.

[apollos-boyfriend]

pattern design for babies/kids are all so fun and colorful and it pisses me off to no end that we don’t make anything remotely like that for adults. who do i have to kill to put multicolored dinosaurs on a tshirt.

[silvaurum]

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

[silvaurum]

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

[silvaurum]

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

[sachermorte]

eternally painful that you can't socialize without people expecting you to talk. sometimes I just want to be around. like a cat

[eilooxara]

Oat milk was discovered much more recently than you may have known. Like many now-familiar technologies, it was found by accident during the Apollo program when NASA learned what a zero-g environment does to goat milk.

[itsanxiete]

when I sleep on my tummy my morning wood lifts me out of bed like a car jack btw

[birdingbutch]

babygirl I'm avoiding things that I don't even know about

[galaxywarp]

[seren-starlight]

Nobody really knows what makes a person go to bed

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Why it’s The Bedtime Wizard of course! That’s his only job!

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Ok well, he’s been going through some stuff recently so if you could be kind and go to bed yourself that would really help him out. Like just- snuggle yourself in, put your phone away, and remember the feeling of being safe and held until you drift off.

Ok?