visions keep me alive.

𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡𝘩 𝑏𝑎𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑒𝑑𝑔𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑙𝑎𝑑𝑒 loved by luna

[hotheadcd]

CARMEN SUTTON

“i didn’t ask you to stop. i just..” she shakes her head. the words she’s wanting to say will make her appear weak and she refused to come across as such. a lump forms in her throat and she swallows, shaking the thought away. they’ve had similar conversations many times and they always end the same. she hates arguing with him. she chews her lower lip, unsure of what else to say for a moment. “sure, it’s an accident but what happens when it isnt and it’s more than just a broken hand?” she’s used to losing people so the worst is always her first thought. she runs her fingers through her hair before crossing her arms over her chest; it’s her way of putting her walls up and shutting people out. she’s so used to doing it with other people that she almost stops herself, for a split second. “yeah, ok.”

a pause in her words causes him to sigh. “ i .... it sounded like you were, car. ” he feels like this conversation happens more now, maybe once a month. usually after he comes home with broken bones. he knows she’s worried, that she’s not trying to upset him, but defense mechanisms always set in. “ what happens then is no big deal, ” he shrugs. “ i’m good at fighting. i’m not going to get hurt any worse than i already have been. ” he shakes his head. she crosses her arms in front of her chest, and he can see the wall going up. With his uninjured hand he reaches up to cup her face, thumb stroking her cheek gently. “ car .... don’t shut me out. i’m sorry. i know you want to go to a fight, but i just ... i’d rather you not go. ”

[chuckclayton]

8 days of gifmas  » day 1

for alex (@plws)

[solaurorae]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[hotheadcd]

CARMEN SHIRHAZI

She’s never really understood why he felt like he needs to fight. Carmen has yet to question it, but she does wonder. She’s not the type to force someone to talk about things bothering them; she’s a pro at bottling things up herself. She pinches the bridge of her nose and lets out a sigh. His hand is broken and instinct tells her to yell. She worries about him far more than she would like to admit. “You know, talking helps.Breaking your hand does not.” Her tone is filled with annoyance and concern. She turns to get him some ice then turns back to face him, “Is the fighting really necessary?” / @hotheadcd

“ it’s not — i’m not doing it to avoid anything. plus, it was an accident, car. ” it’s true — it was an accident. he shifts slightly, shrugging his shoulders. he can hear the annoyance in her voice, and it bothers him — and he’s bothered even more at her words. “ necessary ? no, maybe not. but i love boxing. i’m not going to just stop because of a few broken bones. it’s not a big deal. ” sigh escapes lips, and he accepts the ice she offers quietly. he knows where this is heading — if he’s going to fight, she wants to see it. she wants to be there, watching and cheering him on. they’ve had the conversation before, left it at a stalemate because they’re both too stubborn to give it up. but steven doesn’t want her there — doesn’t want her to see what he’s capable of when he’s angry. “ i don’t — i don’t want to have this conversation, carmen. we both know where it’s going to end up. ”

[hotheadcd]

OLIVER HYUNG

prompt: oliver comforting a sad steven.

     oliver didn’t do well with sad. anger, she could handle. horny, too. happiness was a given, and frustration was relatable. but sad … who the hell was sad out in the open. it was an emotion displayed in the privacy of your own bedroom, after chugging an entire bottle of chardonnay and streaming grey’s anatomy. she didn’t handle her own sadness very well, so somebody else’s ? yeah, she was not cut out for it. “ dude … i’m sure it’s not as bad as ya think. ” hand hovers above his shoulder, oliver hesitant on the consoling pat she’s about to offer. this was a disaster. she spins around in the bar stool, putting her vodka soda aside, all attention redirected to this complete stranger on a binge. “ but if you’re looking for my advice, ” no one ever was. “ it goes a little somethin’ along the lines of fuck her brains out. ” / @hotheadcd

okay, so maybe getting drunk at a bar in a town where a girl was just murdered for sinning wasn’t his best idea. honestly, it was probably among the top three worst decisions he’d ever made. pile onto that his anger issues and the overwhelming shame he felt from the fight with carmen. he’s not usually one to wallow in self-pity — steven much prefers burying his problems, boxing them away at the gym. but broken knuckles ( which was the cause for his tiff with carmen ) kept him from doing so, and thus he’d turned to hard liquor to attempt to ignore everything, for a while. he barely looks up from his gin and tonic at the other’s words, shaking his head. “ if it were that easy, don’t ya think i’d already be ... trying that ? ” words are halted, and he wishes it were that easy. but carmen made points and steven’s just too worried he’s going to lose her at this point to even try anything but groveling.

[hotheadcd]

SAWYER KINNEY

     one hour into their drive and tension had already lifted off her shoulders. it’d taken a lot of convincing for sawyer to put her life on hold, even for such a short period. though the minute they’d gotten past town limits, she’d begun harboring excitement rather than worry. an free-spirited car ride on top of that, and the brunette was starting to feel something akin to enjoyment. “ there ya go ! ” she hollers, a laugh following the older’s attempt at beyoncé herself. falling back in her seat, she prepares herself for her favorite line. “ sexy women do that dance. fly ladies work your man. balling fellas time to clown. we can get down now. ” her all given in a final verse, and she allows the chorus to make its return. “ you never turn down destiny’s child, stevie … number one rule of this trip, and all other trips. it’s a law in some states. ” 

it’s easier for him, to pretend that nothing’s wrong, when he’s with his sisters. sawyer’s bubbliness is infectious, and even though they’re only an hour into their drive, he’s already feeling more relaxed. maybe it’s because they’re not in jericho anymore — they’re not swathed in the darkness that the town’s fallen into. steven feels lighter, happier. like everything’s easier. “ hey, don’t laugh. i haven’t listened to destiny’s child in ages, saw. ” roadtrip memories wash over him for a moment, passing thoughts of three kids singing songs with their parents in the car. he shakes it off, though, not wanting to let anger and sadness ruin what is already an enjoyable trip. he laughs as sawyer belts out the lyrics, bobbing his head along to the music as she does. “ i don’t think that’s actually a law, saw. and haven’t you heard the whole ‘ my car, my music thing’ ? ” he questions with a laugh, then shakes his head. “ you’re lucky, though. i dig it. ”

[hotheadcd]

JOHN KELLER HAS ADDED STEVEN KINNEY AS A FRIEND! The TWENTY-SIX year old will be playing the role of the SYMPATHETIC MURDERER in his very own horror movie. Right now, he’s a SCIENCE TEACHER at JERICHO HIGH SCHOOL but he might not be for much longer — you might see him on the town’s next tape.

hi again it me, luna. if you wanna know more about me, go ahead over and check out my intro post on georgia here. if you don’t care, good on you bc i suck.

tws for murder, car crash, death.

so! this is steven, a twenty-six year old angry disaster. he’s the middle child, would kill a man for his sisters ( sawyer the baby and sienna the eldest ).

has like. ridiculous anger issues stemming from the death of his parents when he was nineteen. they died in a car crash that gave his younger sister epilepsy so he’s a wee bit protective of her.

he tried to channel his anger into boxing in college, however it didn’t end up going as planned. he beat another boxer so aggressively that he gave him brain trauma and the guy died. 

he’s been in love with his best friend since they were seventeen and they’re finally going somewhere, she has a kid but he treats her ( marisol ) like she’s his own.

he’s a science teacher at the high school and absolutely adores his students. he teaches biology and tries his best to make it really interactive for them.

and that’s a wrap binches. for now, at least uwu. feel free to hmu if u wanna plot! 

[hotheadcd]

SAWYER KINNEY

prompt: steven and sawyer go on a road trip.

     between responsibilities and the murder of a local teen, the end of the old and beginning of new year was spent in a funk. and funks were not appreciated by the youngest kinney. she was productive : always moving, hardly taking a well-deserved break. if she couldn’t achieve productivity the funk was bound to DEEPEN, and then she’d never find her way out. lucky her, she’s not without an older brother. and it turns out, the trick to getting her old self back was a four hour trip to sin city. she sits cross-legged in the passenger seat, shoes kicked off on the floor, and the radio BLASTING destiny’s child’s best. in other words, their entire discography. “ ladies leave your man at home … the club is full of ballers and their pockets full grown, ” the brunette pokes at her brother’s shoulder, urging him to join her sing-along. “ and all you fellas leave your girl with her friends … ‘cause – ” she goes silent, handing over a metaphorical mic. / @hotheadcd​

murder of local teen has sent him spiraling, the threat of purging sinners not lost his ears. attempts at distraction had been made, from holiday fun with siblings to channeling anger and despair into boxing. but distraction in the same movements can only last so long, and steven finds himself slowly being consumed by anxiety. so he was thankful that sawyer was in a funk  — well, not really thankful, but it was easier for the older brother to do something in an attempt to un-funkify his sister than it was for him to distract himself. so here they were, newly twenty-one year old and a twenty-six year old, driving in steven’s beat up subaru and blasting destiny’s child. sawyer’s singing and he’s humming along, but he chuckles and shakes his head when she pokes his shoulder. “ nah, saw. nah. ” he knows he’s not getting off the hook, though, so he sighs and sings along. “ it’s eleven thirty and the club is jumpin’, jumpin’. ” fingers tap to the beat on the steering wheel, and he grins over at her.

[dailykeiynan]

wally west // bram greenfeld