Wait, What?

shitposting at its finest

[howdareyoutakemyurl]

I want to live a hundred lives in the one that I have. I want to work in a museum and in the publishing industry. I want to work in a bookshop and be a florist. I want to be a barista in a cafe and sell ice cream from a truck. I want to live in another city and call it my home just as much as this one is. I want to speak a dozen languages and own a hundred plants. I want a library full of books and a empty room made up of glass walls to let the heat in.

I want a big garden to have a swing in and I want to live on the edge of a forest. I want to be at the centre of the bustle of a busy City and the elegance of a country home. I want to make a mark on the world and I want to be just as unknown. I want to be a mystery and I want to be an open book. I want to live a hundred lives and I’m going to love each one.

[lesbiandonnanoble]

the adipose industries ceo: *making her big reveal villain speech*

donna and ten at each other from opposite sides of the room:

[theocseason4]

This is extremely funny

[clitorous]

do they think being a cop will be morally okay in a few months or what

[apardonablemonomania-deactivate]

[datasoong47]

Season opens with Jake waking up and being like "Man, I just had the craziest dream that we were cops", and then goes to his job at the post office, and it's never mentioned again

[bandtshirt]

do y’all remember before direct messages tumblr had a dumbass ask limit of 10 per hour and communication was impossible until they introduced dumbass fan mail and we were basically sending telegraphs back in forth trying to communicate those were…dark times

[spelledslots]

Do y'all remember when they finally gave us direct messages and instead of doing it normally, they gave it to a few people at a time and we had to infect each other with it like a virus

[whitepeopletwitter]

[everythingfox]

Dog refuses to get out of bed then proceeds to fall asleep looking after baby

(Source)

[black-geek-supremacy]

Why do we deserve dogs

[emotionalempowerer-blog]

The whole medical Industry is a scam, I’m not surprised. This is exactly why there’s so much money in pharmaceuticals in the US!

[bust-down-memeiana]

That’s why it’s better to get the generic brand pills it’s cheaper and legit the same thing

[ihatecispeople]

lmäöööö

[ihatecispeople]

american accented dinner guest: mm, oh my god. that was incredible

stereotypical swedish accented host 1:  oh, stop it, you’re too kind

guest: the mushrooms. de-licious

host 1: actually, we picked them ourselves.

guest: oh really?

host 1: yeah, yeah

american: where?

the music falls silent as do the people. a person chokes on their drink. everyone but the guest stare blankly into their food. 

guest: i’m sorry did I say something inappropriate?

host 1: oh no, it’s nothing, it’s nothing

host 2: don’t worry about it, yeah, don’t worry

guest: ah okay, thank god, yeah no i was just wondering where you picked the mushrooms

the party falls silent again

host 2: han var jävligt nyfiken, var han [somebody’s being fucking nosy]

guest: i don’t understand, what’s going on? have i said something inappropriate? i’m just wondering if you have a “spot” like where you pick your mushrooms, like your “mushroom spot”?

host 1, throws utensils down, raises voice and stands up: okay now you’re crossing the line, now you have- nu får du- i have to ask you to leave, please

guest: guys, i–

[aneternalfangirl]

Why is it inappropriate?

[ihatecispeople]

good mushroom spots are so few and far between. if too many people know of it, someone else will get to it before you do! finding a good spot is kept as a secret within a family so that you can ensure you manage to get some tasty chantarelles during mushroom season :) ASKING for someone’s spots is a social faux pas because you’re asking them to give up their mushrooms for you. lots of people in sweden take mushroom season really seriously!!!

[glumshoe]

My mother didn’t believe me when I said the reason her phone keeps displaying ads for dog car harnesses is because it eavesdrops on her spoken conversations.

“Watch this,” I said. “I want to buy a wetsuit. I need a wetsuit. Where can I get a wetsuit? Bring me a wetsuit. Wetsuit size small. Women’s wetsuits. Wetsuits for children. Wetsuits for dogs. Discount wetsuits. Hot single wetsuits in my area? Sexy wetsuits. Wetsuits for sale. Purchase me a wetsuit. We need to get a wetsuit. Spend money on a wetsuit! I want to get a wetsuit. Where did you get that wetsuit?”

Her phone is now advertising wetsuits.

[witcheshaven]

Former web developer, AI/UI dev, and data analyst for various things (including targeted marketing on social media) here.

If you have accounts like Facebook and Google +/Gmail, or any app that requires permissions to read & write your surface settings, then this is why it happens. Your default settings for location and other permissions (mic and camera) are enabled for constant read-write.

What does this mean?

You can toggle your permissions for these apps for conditions like Never or While Using App. Keep in mind that if you have apps opened up in the background of your phone, then you're technically using them. Make sure to close them out completely when you don't want to use them.

But why?

When you have your location permissions enabled for apps, this data is collected and used for targeted marketing. Google is the biggest offender.

Example of how to stop active data collection

You can pause permissions on Google accounts:

You can toggle app settings for surface permissions off:

Friendly Reminder

The more you create accounts by using your Google or Facebook to login, the more active data collection you offer to these companies. Unfortunately, Facebook will never not offer you the chance to not have ads showing on your newsfeed. However, you can shut off channels of active data collection by signing up with an email address and a good ol' password instead of using SSO (single sign on) with Google or Facebook.

[wyrm-wolf]

Just making an observation

[incognegroo]

Big mood

[pioneerman]

I slept in and laughed way too much at this

[icameas-roman]

THE NOISESSSSS LMFAOOOOOOOO

[abomination-of-gender-deactivat]

Paranoia Agent (2004) dir. Satoshi Kon

[meaningfulstream]

[funky-ravioli]

french people when they were coming up with the French language

[maxofs2d]

this is what the Académie Française looks like so honestly you’re not that far off

[jasondisgracedhsksjdjksjs-deact]

here is a link to a ‘watch to donate’ video where profits are donated to help Uyghur Muslims!! this is the only video of it’s type I could find, but the video does not have many views at all. all the organizations are listed in the description and the channel is very transparent in the fact that they are only halfway to 1000 subscribers, which is the point at which they can monetize. if you’d consider subscribing and watching the video, I’m sure they’ll be able to monetize soon if enough people see this on here. like I said, this is the only video I could find dedicated to helping Uyghur Muslims, otherwise I would post a link to a video that is already monetized. please sb!

[addictedtostorytelling]

my top faves: friendship edition (3/3): peggy + jarvis (carvis)

“you’re new to espionage, aren’t you?” “far from it. last summer, i caught the cook pocketing the good spoons.”

[d1rtypaws]

Coworker: nice day out huh?

Me, who watched a 2hr documentary about the Hindenburg disaster the night before and is desperately trying to share the information i learned: yeah, a real nice day, not at all like May 6, 1937 in Germany.

[utopians]

Throwback to 2016 when I told my sister "they're making another planet earth" and she just like. raised an eyebrow and said in this absolutely deadpan condescending tone "and where are they getting the dirt for it?" and I had to specify I meant planet earth the nature documentary not the celestial body

[thenatsdorf]

[pixelatedfrog-deactivated202009]

Washing machine