I deleted my account. I told myself to get a life. But now I'm back.
My greatest weakness: aftg
My greatest strength: Jesus
My greatest fear: the HEAP of dishes growing mold in my kitchen
The reason why so many of y'all's feminism sucks is because you still believe deep down in your hearts that there are only two kinds of people in the world: precious, ethereal, fragile dollthings called "women", and violent, lustful, rage-fueled apes called "men". Until you throw that idea away, 3rd-grade-tier "girls rule boys drool, girls are princesses and boys are stinky :(" is as feminist as we'll ever get-- and I hope it's obvious that that's lightyears away from the bare minimum of where we need to be.
I have had a lot of evil people say to me that nothing taste as good as skinny feels and every time im like no im pretty sure food tastes really super good actually
People who work within a system: okay so studies show that the normal system works 90% of the time, but because itâs very bad when it doesnât work, weâve set up a process to manage those outliers. We need six well-trained workers to run the system 100% of the time without any serious incidents.
CEOs and politicians, every time: Well i just saw it go right twice in a row which means the normal system which you say works 90% of the time actually works 100% of the time. Weâre cutting the team down to one person pulling 18 hour shifts without breaks
okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where heâs going to be a sex pest, namely: âDo you know where the term âblow jobâ comes from?â
and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!
his second error: approaching a little autistic freak with what he intended to be an uncomfortable sex question that would make me feel weird and gross. Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I Have Never Misjudged A Manâs Intentions So Incredibly In My Life. because i did not realize he was trying to harass me. because i love talking about sex facts, albeit not usually at work. unless. someone prompts me. my coworkers are the kind of people who are generally online enough to know terms, but not exactly what they mean, and they realized they could ask me a while back and get good answers without the resulting awkwardness because i do not experience shame. i am primed to answer questions like the one he has proposed.
So I Answered It.
and well, really, what happened is that I began answering it, then realized the answer required a bit more context. I mean, you canât just say âoh, well, the term first appears in writing in the 1940sâ without first explaining that âblowâ by itself already had sexual connotations for centuries, and then, really, are we talking about the origin of the term or the origin of the act. and well we have a ton of literature and art depicting fellatio throughout human history, did you know a lot of it was men performing it on other men? oh, that reminds me, there are a multitude of latin words for oral sex performed on penises, and hold on let me quote you the entirety of catullus 16 from memory and explain itâs fascinating insights into the roman world of homosexuality-
i do not know how to turn any of this ^ off, by the way. iâm sure some people out there have a switch that disables their infodumping mid-speech. i do not. and i also didnât realize he wasnât looking for a real answer until my other coworker explained so hours later. he could not excuse himself from the conversation he started, and i made a conservative man at least 30 years older than me to listen to my catullus recitation. i will sodomize and facefuck you, indeed.
anyway, i think i got a bad grade in being sexually harassed. my pro tip is maybe donât start with what a very autistic individual will misconstrue as you earnestly asking them to explain sex to you. the special interest shield will cause splashback damage.
Oh man, I just realised - so I'm autistic but I've worked with the public long enough now that I've started to catch on when this happens, but I remember the autistic no-sell response working really well so now when it happens I just act oblivious anyway. Some dude once called me up asking if we could xray his penis. I'm like, well, actually, an ultrasound would be more appropriate because xray is better for joints and bone than muscle. Sadly he did not pick the low hanging fruit I left him RIGHT THERE and he was like, okay, but what if I WANT to xray my penis? And I'm sitting there pretending to take him seriously and say, well, what is the xray for, exactly? What's the clinical reason for the scan? And dude is like. Well, I just wanted to.
And I'm like, nah, sorry mate, you need a doctor's referral. Go see a doctor and THEN we can xray your penis.
About this bracket: Polls will be posted for 3 days, for a total of 11 polls. One-sided bracket face-offs were randomly generated. Characters included are Neil, Andrew, Aaron, Kevin, Nicky, Coach Wymack, Seth, Jean, Riko, and Jeremy.
i keep getting this instagram ad for what i assume is a romantasy novel that begins w the phrase âimagine knowing your destiny in lifeâŠis to dieâ n itâs pissing me off SO BAD. everyoneâs destiny in life is to die. thatâs like. kind of the main one.
Most annoying kind of discourse without question* is people making pointed and urgent cultural critiques about the significance of the hottest trends and implicit narratives of, like, the 1990s-2010s with absolutely zero sign of self-awareness that the facts on the ground might have changed since the examples they cite were released.
Like if you're going to complain about Manic Pixie Dream Girls I do think it kind of behooves you to name a single example of how it's still a common trope that post-dates Scott Pilgrim y'know?
Itâs so sad that students are now relying so heavily on AI for writing essays because theyâre missing out on the best part of writing an essay which is when youâre a few paragraphs in and you just reach that flow state where your thought process becomes one with the essay and youâre slamming the keys so hard that youâre on the verge of destroying your laptop. I used to get high off of that shit
the way nicky and aaron talked about andrew off his meds is exactly the way dog people talk about cats.
âyou dont know what he was like off his meds⊠he was scary and violent.â and then he goes off his meds and is just incredibly quiet and wants to be left alone.
exact energy as ppl crying cats are âunpredictable and will scratch you for no reasonâ while disrespecting every boundary the cat has put in place. thereâs a fundamental misunderstanding happening.
since becoming a barista i have noticed a few very distinct typologies among my customers. such as:
the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.
sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.
evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.
sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.
evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.
errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.
grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.
#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.
schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.
amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.
this of course is not an exhaustive list but those are just some of the most consistent Types i get. ok bye xoxo
stormborns
ellievsbear
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