we've definitely posted about this before but if i see one more person act like the only forms of childhood trauma that exist are abuse from family or sexual assault i will actually start crying and it will be so so so loud everyone will hear it from every corner of the earth
THE SCHOOL SYSTEM !!! PEER ABUSE !!!!! ISOLATION !!!!!!!! RACISM !!! SEXISM !!!!!! MEDICAL ABUSE !!!!!! NONCONSENSUAL SURGERY !!!! POVERTY !!!! SO MUCH MORE !!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
edit: i made this in a high school enduced rage and didnt expect it to blow up like this ?
anyway i love trans people i love intersex people i love people with personality disorsers i love aspec people okkk
it saves your life in a situation where no one else would have been fast, strong, agile, and composed enough to do so.
your security team is immediately more alarmed by its presence than the attack that is obvious to you as the bigger issue at the moment
they insist it's dangerous and struggle to relax enough to take their weapons off of it
then a combatbot attacks your group
somehow this secunit, much smaller than the bot, unarmored, without any heavy weaponry on its person, manages to take it down. some real jaw-dropping action, all over in less than a minute
then it leaps into a room with two combatbots and not only survives, but it gets your unconscious friend out alive
then it immediately comes to your own rescue, disabling impressive combat armor
it then is dead-set on killing your attacker who is already immobilized and harmless
clearly this is an incredibly competent and dangerous and powerful person
then miki tells you that it IS rin and you finally put it together that not only is this person competent in the field, but it is also calling all its own shots and has truly come here all on its own and volunteered its services to help and protect you without needing to be asked or ordered
so this person is incredibly competent, dangerous, powerful, AND kind, AND fiercely protective, AND reassuring, AND intelligent, AND selfless
and it's still coming up with great ideas and still thinking proactively about how it's going to face down or distract another combatbot as though there's no doubt in the world that it, still bleeding heavily, still unarmored and barely armed, is ready for another round with a terrifying machine that appears to be nothing BUT armor and weapons
so you step forward to help treat its injuries
and it jerks back a step with the single most frightened face you've ever seen, as though you had lifted your arm to inflict pain and it was helpless to stop you
behind you, even miki can read the devastating expression that's breaking your heart and says "abene won't hurt you, secunit"
where did the fearsome fighter from moments ago disappear to?
@marry-and-mirthful — #I can't stop thinking about how she must have like. reworked things in her head #in the time post the betrayal but pre the flinch #because oh ok. that's why they acted Like That. they were afraid it would realize they were working against the group #that's why they pointed weapons at it (even though it was just helping) and said it was untrustworthy (...look at it) #they were scared because THEY were the bad guys #and then. then. then it flinches away from her and then __freezes__ #and things are broken again. because it expects HER to hurt it. not the fuckers who were working against it. her #her who it saved. her who it got So So So hurt protecting #and. that has Implications. #and then Miki.....and she SEES IT from its eyes #so she KNOWS it wasn't killed no matter what it looks like (did it set it up to look like it died? why?) #and then everyone she tells says SHE WAS LUCKY it was dragged into space #because it is Dangerous and oh God you were basically Alone With It and are you sure you are not injured and #and people are talking like it is half weapon and half radioactive waste #and the flinch makes sense. the reactions make sense again. this wonderful person who (DID NOT) die for her #has been treated like __this__ for its entire existence. no wonder it was scared. she learns that this one was clearly not under control #and that is considered DANGEROUS. that it being free to act as it wills is worth ringing all the alarm bells and destroying it #in as fast and brutal a way as is possible. that its existence is literally the stuff of horror stories #it saved her. it got all but torn to shreds for them for seemingly no reason except that they were in danger #people talk about how much you have to restrain them to successfully take them apart for “Decommission'
yeah. okay. ouch. i deserved that. fair's fair hurting me like this after i've hurt a thousand others and counting. this part especially ow ow ow:
#and things are broken again. because it expects HER to hurt it. not the fuckers who were working against it. her #her who it saved. her who it got So So So hurt protecting
This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)
Message in a Beetle by ConalltheLibrarian - Rated T
It’s been nearly 27 years since Eva Stratt forced Ryland Grace to board the Hail Mary and sent him off to his death for the greater good of mankind. Meanwhile, Eva and the Project Hail Mary team have been fighting a losing battle against the cooling sun—and their own demons—trying to make sure there were still people to be saved by the time the crew could send a solution home. Right on schedule, the beetles are returning to Earth, hopefully with the answer to saving the world. But Eva has something else to worry about; there’s every possibility Ryland Grace’s last words would be coming home, and all the time in the world couldn’t make her ready to face the consequences of her actions, or what will happen when her colleagues find out what she did to their friend.
It was time to find out if it was worth it for her to sacrifice Grace, and her soul, to save humanity. And to find out if she was ready to face him after all these years…
Major Tom to Ground Control by tallboy_benny - Rated T
Eva Stratt has never been a woman who hesitates.
She’s made countless decisions after decisions throughout her life, often regardless of the consequences that may result. She’s not an idiot. She’s well aware that there will be consequences, and she’s equally sure that the consequences will be of little concern. The end justifies the means — her actions will be judged, but at least they will have happened.
But here, alone in a Russian conference room, for once in her life Eva Stratt does not know what to do.
OR; The beetles make it home.
5 times people thought Grace and Stratt were "engaged in sexual congress" + 1 time they didn't! by notAleks - Not Rated
"We're not--!"
+
what the title says.
but it's actually 4+1 because we saw one of the 5 in the book, so...
heavier things remain by remrose - Rated G
"Hold on, what about Dr. Pepper?" Grace said, refusing to follow with his feet planted, one last excuse why he wouldn't join her to save the world.
Eva paused. She considered. If that was the only stipulation, she could work with that. "I can get you whatever beverage you like, Dr. Grace."
Grace grinned for a moment, like he was enjoying a personal joke, then said, "My dog. Dr. Pepper is my dog."
or: you don't even have a dog
my beloved ghost and me by browneyedgenius, strattsvat (browneyedgenius) - Rated G
After the launch of the Hail Mary, Eva Stratt starts seeing ghosts.
The first time that Eva Stratt sees Ryland’s ghost, she is still one-hundred percent certain that he is alive.
For a moment, she stops breathing. He’s here, he’s somehow escaped her men, fought his way out of her death sentence. Exuberant joy sneaks its way up her spine for just a moment before her mind takes over again, before fear settles in her throat like a stone.
If he’s here, then the planet—this precious, singular Earth—will be dead.
I’ll Find a New Place to be From by Honey_Dewey - Rated T
Eva Stratt spent launch day in a windowless room, hands clasped and head bowed in prayer to a God she stopped believing in when the sun began to die before her very eyes. She listened to the Hail Mary take off, listened to it through a broadcast on a pair of headphones that could never convey the weight of her choices. Could never communicate how much she had sacrificed to get here.
Eva Stratt spent the day after launch on trial.
And she spent the rest of her life atoning for her sins in the worst way possible.
Living a good life.
Step by Step by AuroraCeleste - Not Rated
Eva Stratt had a four-step plan.
She and Carl were going to make sure that Grace had something of home when he was several light-years away.
But opening the door to the apartment was a lot harder than she expected. And on first look, she almost thought they had the wrong apartment.
Also, who is knocking on the door?
A Necessary Sacrifice by GraceRockySaveStars (CasualCreative2510) - Rated T
Eva Stratt was not a masochist.
Nor was she some unthinking, unfeeling psychopath, despite the front she had to put on to get through the day to day struggles of running a multi-government mission that required perfection and nothing less.
But that was beside the point. Eva didn't put herself through pain if she didn't have to. She didn't particularly enjoy languishing in her own emotions like some people did, instead preferring to keep pushing forward and deal with it later, later always later and never now.
Eva Stratt thinks about what she had to do to Grace
We Can Meet Again Somewhere by UNHEALTHY_COPING_MECHANISM - Rated G
In the twilight of her life, Eva Stratt finds out whether Ryland Grace managed to save Rocky.
thou shalt deny me by Imgoingpuzzlemode - Rated G
Before the lab explosion that resulted in Ryland Grace's immediate candidacy for the Hail Mary, Eva Stratt was already putting up walls in their friendship. Even without the suicide mission to consider, she wanted him to avoid the fallout that was coming for her.
One Last Look at Him by bluestellar - Not Rated
“I would have liked,” she said quietly, the words barely audible even to herself, “to have known you when the world was not ending.”
The confession hung in the dim room, intimate in a way that they were not, that they had never been. She had not noticed how attached she’d become to him until she was sending him to his death.
*** OR
In the hours before the Hail Mary launch, Stratt visits an unconscious Grace in his hospital bed.
Feelings ensue.
Seeing Ghosts by ink_writer - Not Rated
Eva Stratt did what she had to do to save the lives, but she can't escape the ghosts she created along the way.
--
A semi-linear series of blurbs that bounce between the time of Project Hail Mary being worked on and Stratt's life on the boat. Grace haunts the narrative.
open casket funeral by chaosandtwo - Rated G
How do you grieve someone that is still alive?
The simple answer might be: Killing them yourself.
At Least Let Me Clean My Room by RosePocky - Rated G
He had argued, resisted, panicked. He had been afraid, and reasonably so. Every survival instinct in his body had screamed against the mission, against dying alone and forgotten between the stars.
And she had looked at that fear, weighed it against eight billion lives, and decided it was acceptable. Necessary.
Stratt knew, with absolute certainty, that she would make the same decision again.
9,514 Days to Salvation by Wildflowerdraught - Rated G
Twenty-six years
More than 9,000 days
That's how long it will take before humanity will even know if Project Hail Mary was a success.
Eva Stratt has to watch as the apocalypse comes, all while dealing with the consequences of her decision to murder her... to murder Grace. Consequences she knew would happen, and refuses to regret.
This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)
Red Thread Tying Us Together by alatarmaia4 - Rated G
“I just think it’s kind of a messed-up thing to do to a baby,” I said.
AKA: the one with time travel. When the opportunity arises, Rocky and Ryland can't turn down the chance to save Rocky's crew.
It all kind of spirals from there.
10 Days to Second Contact by JustAnotherGeekyAuthor - Rated G
Ryland Grace went into a coma 10 days before the Hail Mary launched, and his crew were put into their own comas. Turns out there's a ten-day difference in wake-up time, too; and, unfortunately for Ilyukhina and Yao, ten days is enough time to make first contact.
letters from eighth grade by hansdevice - Rated G
Dear Mr. Sir Grace,
This is Abby from your eighth grade class. We have a substitute teacher called Mr. Tyson. He is not nearly as good as you. We don’t play with a lava happy-sack. We read out of a textbook.
over the years, Ryland Grace's eighth grade class write him messages.
The Long Journey Home by HeartAway - Rated T
Hail Mary Counter @hailmarytracker · 12 hrs
Days since last contact with Hail Mary: 9,716
🗨 1 ⇄ 2 ♡ 5
It's been nearly 27 years since the Hail Mary departed. When the ISS detects a signal in the far off solar system, hope begins to grow, even as mysteries start to unravel and the universe becomes a little smaller.
The Greatest Act of Optimism by Acewithapaintbrush - Rated G
The Eridian thrills a high sound that doesn’t get picked up by the translator which means that it has no clear meaning. Like when a human gasps or sucks in a deep breath. It actually sounds a little like that. When they notice that I’m staring straight at them they scramble back into their hiding spot and hold very still.
A child, I realize with a start.
That’s a child!
“Hey,” I call and the kid squeaks again. I was about to get to my feet but abort the movement and crawl closer on my hands and knees until I'm inches away from the xenonite wall. I wait and it takes me much too long to realize that they don’t have to peek around the corner to see if I’m still there.
“Hey there,” I try again, my voice low and calm. It’s my teacher voice, the one I use for shy and scared students.
Used.
The fact that I haven’t had to use it for years and it still comes to me automatically almost knocks the air out of my lungs but this is not about me, it’s about making sure the little pebble doesn’t die of fright from the scary alien. “Hi, I’m Grace. It’s alright, you don’t have to be scared.”
***
How Grace finally gets back into a classroom, where he belongs
14 Historical Figures Who Were Probably Autistic (You Won't Believe Number Twelve) by holyflyingswisscheese - Rated G
I read it again, my pointer drifting over the hyperlink. It was the same as the first time I’d read it; I didn’t know what I’d expected.
14 Historical Figures Who Were Probably Autistic (You Won’t Believe Number Twelve)
I rubbed my eyes and laughed again, this time a little lighter. Yeah, no way.
Or: Grace returns to Earth with an Eridian envoy, gets sucked into an internet rabbit hole, and discovers that he's become one of those scientists who everyone sort of just accepts was probably autistic.
Home is a Time and the Clock is Missing by Des98 - Rated T
Ryland Grace is not going to be one of those *crazy* time travellers. He has more sense than that. He can totally fix things and get back home and nobody will ever be the wiser. The Acting thrum would be so proud of how well he is pulling this off right now.
or
Ryland Grace is a time traveller. He's also the world's smartest idiot. The rest of the team on the Vat is totally gonna let him fix things, but honestly, how stupid does he think they are?
Petrova Taskforce PR by One_Real_Wrimonkey - Rated T
The work of the Petrova Taskforce is typically kept behind closed doors, everyone needs clearance and it's all top secret, especially Project Hail Mary. Unfortunately, the world already knows about the dimming sun, and if they have any chance of fixing the planet, they need to maintain morale. Give people hope.
Unfortunately, the Taskforce is filled with a wealth of great minds more suited to technical reports than public information releases.
Enter Dr Ryland Grace, middle school teacher.
.
Aka, Grace is the only person with a background in science communication in the project, and his workload quickly doubles.
Project Saving Grace by brysbeddixt - Rated G
The flight deck crew of Stratt’s Vat are professionals. They do not eavesdrop on their bosses instead of doing their jobs. They are professionals. They can eavesdrop on their bosses while doing their jobs. Multitasking is a very important skill to have.
Director Stratt and Dr. Grace are walking quickly across the flight deck, Carl easily keeping pace behind them. Willis and Mar share an amused look across the fuel line. Dr. Grace is flying to Australia within the hour to attend an Atrophage summit in Sydney. He is, of course, the keynote speaker. And he wants to take Carl.
“His name is on the paper! He was instrumental to the process! Pleeease pleasepleaseplease please let me take Carl.”
“...”
-
Or, some scenes of the Petrova Taskforce adoring their First Officer.
Dog Years by farseersfool - Rated T
One week ago, Ryland Grace passed away.
Today, the first crewed diplomatic mission arrives on Erid.
Rocky, as the leading expert on human culture, has a job to do.
god's silence never breaks by longwaytogallifrey - Rated T
I think if I’d woken up alone on a spaceship with amnesia and two dead bodies, I might’ve gone crazy right there and then. But the good thing about being alive is that you’re never alone.
––––
A Project Hail Mary daemon AU.
Five Times Ryland Grace Surprised Someone and One Time He Surprised Himself by Katrina - Rated T
People have a image of Dr. Ryland Grace. A bit of an oddball, hard working, loves a punny shirt, and is still very much a teacher for all that he's head scientist. Sometimes, however, he does something that is outside expectations. Even the ones he has of himself.
Packing A Life in a Bag by ShyMagpie - Rated T
Carl has the duty to pack Grace's bag for the Hail Mary mission. He spends time reminiscing about Dr. Grace and his contributions to the project. He also has a careful discussion with Commander Yao about what he's doing.
Ghosts Are Wishes We Want to See by Katrina - Rated T
"Foreign object detected."
Grace loves Erid, it's his home. But he is still the only human on the planet. There are things that he wants that can never happen. Then familiar faces, impossible but real, show up almost literally on his doorstep. Now he has to figure out what to do with them.
Wind of Change by NearzFade - Rated T
Changed or not, five limbs or four, she had a mission to do. Billions of people were counting on her, trillions of life forms. So long as she had breath in this fucked up body of hers, she would not rest until she saved the Earth or died trying. And then died after. Only heroes got the heroin overdose.
Or
Ilyukhina and Yáo were not buried in space, but on Erid, along with the crew of the Blip-A. For reasons beyond their understanding, they both wake back up, but something is seriously wrong with them. And why isn't Grace among them?
A Journey Unknown by Acewithapaintbrush - Rated G
“What is a ‘field trip’?”
The unexpected question makes me stop in my tracks. I stumble over my own two feet and almost bite my own tongue which is a new low, even for me. If I keep going like this I am never going to beat the clumsy human allegations. At least Rocky is not here. If he’d witnessed my latest embarrassing blunder he would have found ways to tease me about it for a week straight. It’s unfortunate that my class has to see me like this but they are a lot more forgiving and understanding of their ungraceful teacher than my best friend. A fact I like to hold over his head from time to time.
Not that he cares. He maintains that he’s earned the right to mock me as much as he likes after having to watch me stumble and fall repeatedly over the same threshold for four years.
And maybe he’s not wrong.
Don’t ever tell him I said that.
********
There is no way Grace can take the pebbles on a field trip. At least not without help.
Had a friend ask me about PHM fic recs today, plus I was already thinking about sharing some of my favorites on here, just because I'm loving that there are so many gen and even explicitly aro/ace fics in a fandom for once.
These are just some personal favorites that I think do something fun/interesting/unique with the story and characters. I will also note that the "-ish" is because some of these fics focus on blurry relationship lines, and/or have some focus on Rocky/Adrian as a ship (and Grace as their weird queerplatonic bonus partner), but these recs are generally all quite romance-lite, or dig into the relationships in question on order to explore aro/ace themes.
(Also, I've tried to ping authors where I found tumblr usernames, but if you're on here and I couldn't track your blog down, please let me know!)
Okay? Okay! Without further ado, here's some stories I've really loved:
Appendix: Saving Grace by twasbrilligand -- I bet you can guess what this one is about, but if not: Consider that maybe as a last-minute substitute, there might not have been time to give Grace the full-on Antarctic expedition appendix treatment. Anyway what's better than two friends tag-teaming a critical surgery, with one of them very scientifically interested in the other's insides?
what exists beyond, beyond, beyond by tardigradeschool -- Incredibly adorable Adrian/Rocky & Grace fic featuring a new hatchling addition to their weird little family unit and some bonus disability feelings on Rocky's part, courtesy of his time spent alone on the Blip-A. Handles the topic of internalized ableism really well , plus the family content is sickeningly cute.
Roche Limit by @spektre-writes -- A good old "Rocky and Grace on the way home to Erid" fic that deals with a lot of the expected themes, but also has a big more plot to it due to one final wrinkle the duo run into. That made this one stand out a bit more, plus the fact that Rocky gets to be particularly smart and resourceful (and traumatized).
Care package by @unknown-lifeform -- Earth sends an interstellar care package to the man who saved their planet. Really cute idea, and I thought some of the post-sun-dimming worldbuilding in this one was very interesting and may have cried a little over the idea of Grace getting video thanks from some of his students. Plus, the ending (which I will not spoil) is just perfect.
error:("DEPLETED") by @kellen-kat -- A creative format fic (which is always something I love) that deals with the journey home to Erid. Really excellent pacing, which is fun to see an author pull off when writing a story through things like crash logs and medical reports!
Easy Lover by ForgetMeNotForest -- On here because it's a great aro/ace Grace fic, but even more importantly it also has some of my favorite Stratt characterization I've ever read. Just really well-written, and I love the idea of her being able to read Grace like a book, even when it comes to things he doesn't know about himself.
family matters by Goldmonger -- Another absolutely amazing Adrian/Rocky & Grace weird little family fic. And from Adrian's POV! I'm really into the dynamics of their family unit as portrayed here, plus I love stories where Grace gets leaky over his Eridian family. :)
playing favorites by @marya-blackbone -- Part of a series with a name that name me laugh out loud ("not everybody lives; some people still died") in which Yáo, Ilyukhina, and the crew of the Blip-A all actually survived, resulting in a radically different first contact scenario. Cute and funny, and of course, I love the idea that in whatever universe they meet in, Rocky and Grace have something very special going on.
you land badly, but you crash standing by @taylor-tut-fics -- A technical issue on the Hail Mary after the (planet) Adrian fiasco leads to Grace pushing himself into a health crisis, and Rocky panicking. Told in a mix of flashbacks and what's going on in the present, which works very effectively. Currently an in-progress work, but I'm very excited for the last chapter!
The Greatest Act of Optimism and A Journey Unknown by @acewithapaintbrush -- Two parts of a series about Grace teaching on Erid, the first about how he got started in the first place and the second focusing on the kids' first "field trip" to his enclosure. Incredibly adorable, and there's some bonus excellent queerplatonic content in the second one.
Lost in Translation by @mayasynth -- I'm dying to see how this one ends, but it's an aro/ace Grace fic that also plays around heavily with the (DEEPLY CORRECT) idea that Eridians conceptualize relationship dynamics totally differently from humans, and the misunderstandings that might crop up as a result. Would love to see more people mess around with that idea, so I'm glad this fic exists.
Accident Waiting to Happen by @constantconfusion14 -- It's always sort of fun to see how authors handle two characters who are deeply close to each other having a disagreement/argument of some kind, and I thought this fic did a great job of keeping Grace and Rocky sympathetic while also toying with some of the difficulties they might run into as friends from totally different species (and with a solid helping of baggage/trauma, no less).
Fragility not Forseen by @cyberneticghosts -- I love a LOT of things about this fic -- really thought-out disabled!Rocky! the author's convention of using he/him pronouns for Grace and Rocky when writing Grace's POV, and they/them pronouns for both characters when writing Rocky's POV! everything about Adrian! I really highly recommend it.
He Will Carry Her Name Across the Heavens by @danafox1013 -- A short fic with a clever immersive feature, but I have to mention it entirely because the idea of Christa McAuliffe's family sending a charm of St. Christopher along with Grace in solidarity made me bawl real actual tears. (I have a lot of space travel feelings, sue me)
Eriddit by @calensis -- Look I KNOW Eridians do not have an internet equivalent but silly formatted fics are like catnip to me AND this fic perfectly encapsulates the vibes I want out of an entire planet learning that aliens are 1) real and 2) really, really weird.
Grace and Rocky's relationship is in the same nebulous space between platonic and romantic that Murderbot and ART's relationship is.
They're made for each other, perfectly complementary and closer than anyone really understands, but they aren't "in love" with each other. They love each other and are together in many ways, but it's not like that. It doesn't fit into a human definition of the word love, but that's still undeniably the right word for their relationship.
For all that I've seen a lot of PHM posts that go on about 'patron saint of [blank]' for Ryland Grace, I don't think I've seen any that address what amounts to the scientific version of that: Mother of/Father of.
In order to be considered for the title of Mother of/Father [scientific field], you have to be the first to make significant contribution in that field. You're setting the groundwork in a way nobody else has. This can obviously cause a lot of debate in the end about who gets the title! That said, I think given the leaps and bounds that Grace makes in several fields of science that take them from the more theoretical to the practical gives him some notable options with strong arguments. So we've got options like: Father of Astrobiology (the discovery and study of Astrophage, Taumoeba, several other forms of life on Adrian, and the study of and first interactions with the Eridians; disproving the Goldilocks zone as the only area viable for life; making significant strides in proving the panspermia hypothesis), Father of Xenolinguistics (first person to create working translator and archive of an alien language), and Father of Interstellar Travel (this would be a title held alongside Dr. Dmitri Komorov, likely with Komorov being listed first, and there would be significant debate on if Grace should hold the title at all. I like to think Dmitri would want to share it though).
All workable cases, all real options. Buuuuut I think my very favorite option though would be the one that is the least open to debate and is the one that I honestly think Grace himself would like best: Father of First Contact.
Because on the one hand, yeah, that's a lot he was mostly doing. First contact with Astrophage, with the Taumoeba, with other life on Adrian, and most of all with the Eridians. The first ever intelligent form of life outside of Earth, he made First Contact with. He found ways to communicate, to establish common ground, to work alongside an alien being. He did something no one else on Earth had ever done before and changed the world with it. He made First Contact and saved the world.
But mostly that means there's a whole field of science that Grace's name is attached to forever because he got to meet his friend. Mostly, Father of First Contact is just a fancy way to say "I love my friend."
I love you being trans I love you trans women i love you gender exploration I love you self discovery
[link to the Reddit post]
[ID: two screenshots of a reddit post on r/offmychest by user awaythrowjessie, titled "My girlfriend made me realize I'd be happier as a woman". it reads as follows:
I am 33, born male, and have had major self image issues my entire life. I hated seeing myself in mirrors, pictures, you name it. I honestly thought it was kinda normal so I just accepted it.
Now about 3 weeks ago I was at my girlfriends house, we have been dating a little over a year now, and have plans to move in together soon. Now recently she has shaved her head to support of her friends with cancer (side note thenl treatments for that friend are going very well). She had since bought some wigs to wear while her hair grows back out. We were joking around as I have male pattern baldness, and when she went to the bathroom I jokingly threw a wig on and waited. She came our, saw me we laughed for a bit and she said "you know I think you'd make a pretty girl" we laughed some more but those words triggered something in me.
Cut to a few night's ago she asked why I've been acting weird lately and I just told her how i was feeling. She said "alright let's do this " and when I asked what she told me she was going to give me a bit of a makeover and put me in one of her dresses and if i liked it then good. I was nervous and asked what if I did like it would she still be attracted to me. She just responded with "Baby you know I'm bi, guy or girl you're still mine." Her words reassured me honestly i love her so much.
Anyways she finished the make up, fitted a wig on me perfectly and got me in a dress and even helped me put a bra on and stuff in a little so i could see what breasts would kinda look like on me. Now I expected to see myself in the mirror, laugh this off and move on right, but I didn't. She did an unbelievable job, like I looked like I had been born a woman, and when I saw myself in the mirror for the first time in my entire life, I liked what I saw. I probably stared at myself for a good 10 minutes before she finally asked me something. She asked what I wanted to be called. After a few seconds I said Jessie, I always like the name Jessie. She whispered in my ear "well Jessie, you look beautiful." And that was it, I knew this was who i wanted to be.
I'm nervous now though, my friends will accept it but my family are, well let's just say not very progressive. But this is what I want.
[ID: A screenshot of a Reddit post from r/offmychest by user awaythrowjessie, titled “I went out as Jessie for the first time and I was honestly surprised”. The screenshot reads:
Hello everyone, this is an official follow up to my previous post that went viral and caught me off guard.
So me and my girlfriend, (Who has officially agreed to disclose her name lol) Emily, had gone shopping for me to get me outfits and the like. Earlier today i put on one of those outfits and officially faced the world as Jessie for the first time.
To say I was nervous would be an understatement. We went to our local mall and I was almost shaking, thankfully Emily calmed me down and said if anyone said anything mean to me she'd handle it, then playfully threw up her hands like a boxer lol. We stepped inside and started walking around going in stores and I noticed something, no one was staring. Like at all. I live in an area that still has issues with LGBTQ people so I was afraid of staring or aggressive people. But none of that happened. People greeted me, the store workers were kind and nobody looked at me like I was weird. I felt comfortable, and Emily even said she saw someone check me put, though i doubt that.
This was unbelievable to me and honestly I felt like myself. I feels nice that I can go out without worrying about Judging eyes.
To all the supporters of my previous post thank you, you have made me happy. Ill keep this account going to let you join me in my journey and once I'm confident enough I'll post up some pics of me and Emily too :)
end ID]
When Caine spoke his final line, he did NOT realize that he was about to be deleted. He said it because his agency was returned the second it was no longer being used by something else.
Aka a tadc theory for the heap :] With evidence!
One thing TADC does really well is play on the assumptions of the audience. That’s what makes the show nearly impossible to predict. It fills the episodes with all sorts of crazy plot twists that leave the fans collectively saying WTF at the end of every episode.
But of all the episodes that have been released so far, I believe episode 8 is the one with absolutely THE MOST red herrings. I really believe this episode—which works so hard to hammer the audience over the head with the supposed True Nature of “who’s running the show”—is actually the one that does the most heavy lifting in the exact OPPOSITE direction. It feeds the audience members a somewhat ingratiating version of the Amazing Digital Circus’ reality: that Caine (from the very start the obvious suspect for the role of the true antagonist) is all that we suspected and worse.
I believe it’s a lie. Although Caine is certainly an antagonist and nowhere near being innocent or even really benevolent, he’s not the true monster of this story. Because it’s someone else pulling the strings—which is stated quite literally through this scene’s visual language ⬇️
Caine, after his crash out, is laying on the floor before being lifted into the air like some hapless creature scruffed by the neck. The way his shoulders lift off before the rest of him—heck, even the sound design of the scene suggests this visual. Caine is in the clutches of something else. But this isn’t even the scene that first hints at the greater monster.
This is.
At first Caine and Bubble’s dynamic is normal enough. Caine is using Bubble as his sounding board and Bubble, even with his weirdness, is ultimately responding with positive affirmations. “Surely they don’t want to actually leave me…right?” “No way, Jose! No way, no how!”
But then suddenly, the dynamic abruptly shifts. Bubble’s supportive affirmations become antagonistic insults. Seemingly out of nowhere, but the change is actually marked by one specific split-second frame, when something else takes control and asserts its influence over Bubble. Who is very much a puppet to the whims of more advanced AI.
It preys upon Caine during his greatest moment of insecurity and weakness. And just as it did to Bubble, it latches onto the vulnerable areas of Caine’s coding to overwhelm him with its own influence. All to the same outward symptoms:
Glitching. After this, Caine’s emotions and impulses are being controlled by the unknown entity. Whoever it is, they have likely been using Bubble as their vehicle of influence for a while now. And they use Bubble during Caine’s own villain song, as though to wink in the direction of who’s really running the show. He hovers ominously around the ringmaster during these specific lyrics:
“To which degree who answers to who.”
Caine was unwittingly answering to someone else ever since the crash out scene in his office. He didn’t even realize that he wasn’t in control until the exact moment that his deletion was confirmed by the unknown entity’s tampering of Kinger’s computer. That was the moment that the entity no longer required control of Caine. The moment when all of its efforts paid off, and the madness that it induced in Caine drove the humans to get rid of the AI that stood in its way. And when it finally released its grip on Caine, he immediately recoils from hurting the cast. He makes this expression.
It’s not actually the fear of his deletion. It’s the face he makes when the entity’s claws retract from his code and he regains his own self agency. In that split second, he sees in vivid colors the torture that he has put the cast through, too horrendous for even his own flawed attempts at entertainment. Probably, this moment of clarity is the entity’s very last act of revenge against Caine. As Caine’s VA himself revealed, Caine is thinking,
“What have I done?”
And then he is gone. Leaving something else room to take the stage….
Jax wasn't trying to "start shit for no reason". His world was breaking down, he was scared and wanted a taste of normality.
I have some issues with the way people are seeing this scene here. At face value, it does look like Jax just wants to start fighting for no reason and Zooble and Pomni are ignoring him for that.
That isn't what's happening here.
See, Jax's coping mechanism is to keep things predictable, and keep himself in control. All he's ever known in his life was negativity, being yelled at and condemned and shamed for everything he does, and everything he does wrong. He acts out and bullies and abuses because that's what's normal to him.
It's shown right here in this scene,
Jax thought Zooble was going to yell at him. He turned to them, scared, anticipating a scolding or something to the nature of "Get out, nobody wants you here."
But no, Zooble offers him forgiveness and community. He's hit with that reality, the reality that people love him. Zooble is a kind person, not "the grumpy one", and they truly do want nothing but the best for him.
Here he was, antagonizing everyone, thinking they all want him to die. Assigning them roles because he believes they're as fake as Caine is.
Thinking Pomni would laugh at him.
Thinking Ragatha would try to downplay his feelings with her positivity.
Thinking Gangle would agree with Zooble and pin everyone against him.
But no. Jax realizes that the people around him are forgiving and kind and they actually want him around. He realizes that these people... they're actually his friends. That's pretty shocking for someone like him.
He jokes about it, saying "Hah, you guys worry too much!" when they tell him they're worried about him abstracting.
But he opens his eye, and looks at Pomni. The person in the group he trusts the most. Almost as if to ask...
You'd still be worried though, right? You still care about me, right? Even after everything I did...?
In the café scene, Jax was subconsciously testing that. He didn't intend it, of course, because he doesn't have that kind of self awareness. But subconsciously, he was testing Pomni and Zooble. Trying to see if they really were telling the truth.
So, he drops that bitter remark.
"Y'know things were just fine before you and Zooble came along."
But why? Why those words specifically?
Because Zooble and Pomni antagonize Caine. They call him out. And look what happens when that happens! Jax wants to avoid that!
Let's pause for a second, and go over to Ragatha. We're all familiar with her coping mechanism, and she even demonstrates it to Caine!
She's happy, positive, kind, always ready to help, and always ready to give you a little encouragement when you need it!
She's a people pleaser because her mother was a controlling matriarch. She learned that being a little doll, the perfect little daughter, the perfect little friend who never says anything you don't want to hear, will help her survive.
She. Fawns.
And so does Jax.
Jax, no matter how much he denies it, no matter how much he wants to pretend like he's in control, is doing the exact. Same. Thing.
Jax plays by Caine's rules. He gives the circus members their roles. He abides by his own, loyal to being the funny one. He's the perfect plaything, the perfect little cartoon character for Caine.
The perfect circus bunny, performing just for his ringmaster.
And what do Zooble and Pomni do?
They disrupt that. They disrupt that peace. They threaten Caine, they threaten HIM.
Now, let's get one thing absolutely clear here.
Jax HATES Caine. He hates him, he thinks he's a liar, he controls them, he abuses them, he's been stuck here with this controlling overlord that uses him like a fucking puppet for his own sick and twisted desire to stroke his own ego.
I'm sure Ragatha hated her mother as well and never actually cared about her, she only pretended to be positive and happy to appease her and avoid being punished.
Jax pretends to be a sadistic, funny, sarcastic, jerk to appease Caine. To avoid being punished.
"Caine's not gonna do anything malicious, it's not in his nature."
He's scared of what Caine might do to him. So he lies to himself thinking that if he's good enough for Caine, if he's artificial enough, cartoon enough, if he throws away enough of what makes him human, he can avoid punishment.
Now, back to what he said. "Y'know, things were just fine before you and Zooble came along."
Jax waits for an answer, because he wants Pomni to jump at his throat and scold him. He wants to be hurt, he literally uses them to self-harm. After all, his biggest fear is being laughed at by his closest friends.
And to his surprise, they ignore him. They don't engage.
And he's testing Zooble on what they said. Do you really care if I abstract? Even if I degrade you? Even if I'm an asshole to you?
That's the best way to deal with someone like Jax. Just don't engage, as Zooble said. Just ignore him. He wants to use you to harm himself, don't let him do that.
"Okay."
One last offer to give it to him. Let him have it.
But no. Nobody engages.
That is the confirmation in Jax's mind that Pomni and Zooble were telling the truth.
He...can trust them. He can trust Pomni.
So when Pomni starts her plan with Kinger, he jumps up to ask what's going on. Of course he TRUSTS her but he didn't think anything was ACTUALLY going to happen, right!?
Now he's finding out Kinger is actually capable of being sane! He's not a crazy old man!
What the fuck is happening right now!? Gangle is happy, Ragatha is being genuine, Zooble is forgiving, and now Kinger is sane and normal?
And look what Jax does about this information.
He doesn't double down. He doesn't take the bucket off Kinger's head, he doesn't throw a rude joke to catch everyone off guard, he doesn't try to sabotage what Pomni is trying to do.
When he says "Wait!" while Kinger is talking, it's not because he wanted to stop him. It's not because he wanted to distract him or make him crazy again so he'd stop talking.
It's because he remembered that Caine is always watching. He was trying to get Kinger to stop talking because he knew Caine could appear out of nowhere and throw this entire plan out of the window.
So he gets up, and he says,
"I gotta distract Caine so he doesn't listen in on this."
Jax gets up to help them. Jax chooses, on his own volition, under absolutely no pressure or request, to go and volunteer himself to be the distraction AGAIN, despite how much he hated it the first time. Despite how angry he knows Caine is, despite the fact he knows he could suffer greatly if he does.
Just so the others could have a chance.
"I'm never doing anything for you guys ever again."?
Yeah, right, Jax.
This progress is insane for someone like him. And he goes to have a mini panic attack about the fact it's all real, that these really are human beings and not Caine's playthings or his NPCs.
But he still goes to distract Caine. Because he trusts Pomni, he trusts that her plan is going to work.
Because what does Jax accuse Caine of doing?
"You lie to us constantly!"
Honesty is something Jax values so closely that he abandons his coping mechanism and OFFERS to get tortured by the AI overlord just so the others could have a chance.
It's not one of Caine's adventures or some random NPC he's never seen trying to tell him that there's a chance at escaping.
It's Pomni.
He trusts Pomni. Pomni is his friend.
And by extension, he trusts Kinger, and Zooble, and Ragatha, and Gangle, because they're all humans. They're not Caine, they're not AIs, they won't betray his trust like he does. Jax finally was able to break out of his delusion to see that.
Unlike the vast majority of anti-trans legislation, hate groups are attempting to pass these restrictions without the public at large knowing they exist. This secrecy is far more insidious, and needs to be immediately addressed.
If you want to help, the two things that will make the most impact are SPREADING AWARENESS, and participating in PUBLIC COMMENT while it is still open.
‼️LINK TO FDA COMMENT PAGE‼️
Document: FDA-2025-P-7321
As of the time this article was written, ALL public comments were from hate groups in support of this registry. Every single comment in opposition will help.
Disclaimer: This article is very guilty of intersex erasure, despite the fact that intersex people of all ages would be affected by these regulations the same way trans women are. However, as this is the most comprehensive and direct article currently available, it should still be widely distributed, for the sake of trans women, nonbinary people, and intersex people who will all be affected should it pass.
I did my comment, and you should to! Be advised that when making a comment like this on a proposed regulation, the depth of your statement does matter. I strongly encourage you to take the time to read this article to get informed on what this proposal entails, and write a detailed response concerning one or two aspects that you believe you can write cohesively about and prepare a sensible counter-argument; try to draw from other sources if you can, even if you're just quoting other articles in support and in defense of HRT and transfeminism. I encourage everyone to review this official list of what they're expecting from a quality comment.
Remember, all public comments may have been from this hate campaign at the time of posting, but it was only 60. I know plenty of Discord servers bigger than that, let's show that we outnumber this hate and that we're gonna outlive this nightmare.
Update on this because I just had time to post my comment, and when you initially look at the docket, some of the information you might see on there is a touch misleading!
For one, when you look at the document comment buttons at the top, it says there are 61 comments. All the comments that I clicked through there are in support of petition. BUT (and here's the important thing) the comments that have been posted for public view is NOT the same number as the comments that have actually been recieved.
If you look to the side of the page, you might notice this:
If you click the more details button, you'll see a small section that reads "In some instances, agencies do not publicly post all comments received. You can only access those comments that are posted to Regulations.gov by the agencies. The number of accessible comments, therefore, may be lower than the total number of comments listed in the card below."
This basically means that, out of the 6,897 comments that have been recieved, the agency has only decided to post 61 of them. The latest post of those 61 dates back to Febuary 27th. Clearly, that leaves 6,836 comments unaccounted for, and not posted.
(Likely, because the 6,836 not posted are in opposition to this petition.)
Now, if you go to comment like I did today, you might notice this:
This is a lie! The comment period is still accepting late comments, but what you have to do is click the Docket Document tab, which will bring you to two documents. The acknowledgement letter is closed for comments. THE CITIZEN PETITION IS STILL ACCEPTING LATE COMMENTS.
There's still some time to put in your comments people! Never loose hope, and never stop!
why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. it’s just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain
Ship dynamics are always like Sunshine and Sunshine protector~ Cinnamon roll and their grumpy one 🤗 Well what about 2 cunts. They're both cunts and that's the dynamic. cunt4cunt.
The only way into my building is through the front door which locks itself when closed. There's a back entrance but it's deadbolted from the inside. This means the only people who can get into the building are me, my cat sitter with the spare keys, and the people living in the other two units.
The door to MY unit now... has no doorknob. Impossible to get in.
There is a shared BACK hallway that leads to the shared basement/back entrance. My back door into this hall is always deadbolted. EXCEPT, fortuitously, right now, since neighbor (Molly) in unit 2 had heard Patches meowing when alone and offered to spend some time with her, so I had the cat sitter unlock the bolt.
This, LUCKILY, means there is A Way into my unit. But it requires getting into the building, then going THROUGH my neighbors' unit into the back hall, then up to my unit.
Cat sitter is effectively locked out from Patches, and won't be able to get in if not fixed by the next day.
Text neighbor about predicament. They're willing to look at my door bUT (it's Christmas) they're not home and not getting home until the next day.
Next day, text for an update but hear nothing. (Neighbors aren't attached to their phones much). Communicate with catsitter saying "okay if I don't hear back from neighbors, maybe you go over and I contact a locksmith who you can let in?" (since cat sitter has the keys to the building)
Catsitter is very not keen on the idea
Patches is unaware she's a prisoner.
Hear back from neighbors. Say they should be home around 5pm.
Okay... Good Enough... (Patches graze-feeds so Luckily she hasn't missed any meals but we're going on 24 hours of house arrest Patches).
6pm comes. 7pm comes. 7:40pm I text asking for an update. Nothing.
8:30pm I'm figuring out what friends I can call to break into my own house. Text neighbor again and notice this text doesn't go through.
Text neighbor's partner being like "hey sorry, can't seem to reach Molly--". Get a text back "Sorry this is Molly on David's phone! My phone died." Family Christmas plans ran late but they're on their way back and will be home soon. Thank goodness.
9pm-ish, they get back, give Patches attention and top up her food. I get a text "David fixed your door!" Woo!
Friday 5pm I finally get home
Lugging my suitcase up three flights of stairs while I hear Patches meowing like a dying Victorian child
Shoes off coat off suitcase down fish out keys unlock door grab doorknob
...Doorknob falls off
Falls off right into my hands
Staring at doorknob. Staring at door. Patches meowing. Shove doorknob against door like an idiot and no it does not go back on.
Fucking
Go down flight of stairs, knock on Molly and David's door. David is luckily home. "My doorknob fell off again can I go home"
David lets me in. I scoot past their dogs and apparently I startled the more nervous one since she apparently tried to nip at me but I didn't even notice because I'm like my cat.
Get in through the back hall.
Patches comes bounding over.
My cat.
Doesn't even know she was a prisoner.
Doesn't even know what a doorknob is.
Later that night receive a text from neighbor apologizing for the dog and I'm like "I Did Not Even Notice."
Any attempt to leave my house now is perilous until I fix the doorknob.
Can't even leave my door cracked open because I know Patches is gonna shove her stupid little face through it and become the opposite of a prisoner.
I wanna go buy a reeces peanut butter cup but by god it's not worth the risk
You are completely right because I have now investigated the knob and can confirm the screw holding the knob to bar was loose. I have tightened the screw and it SEEMS fixed but I’m very Fool Me Once on this since my neighbor also thought they’d fixed it.
There is a Home Depot trip in my future. Or maybe an online purchase if Patches would get off my laptop
Complication. Doorknob is here and I tried to install it, but because my door is older than God, the latch-majig (technical term) is offset like an inch higher than the knob. Modern doorknob has the latch LEVEL with the knob.
To swap in the new knob I'd need to cut a new knob-hole an inch higher in the door which
With what tools
That would leave an unused gaping doorknob-sized hole in my door which any robber the size of a weasel or smaller will use to rob my home. I don't need fucking Redwall in my home.
Probably bad for the integrity of the door
I don't wanna.
I think what I really want is just the knob like above tags said. Like the knob and the rectangular bar, which I can substitute in for my stripped-bare knob and rectangle bar. I WOULD do this with the new knob, but it's got two welded-on spokes poking out from the knob.
I can maybe drill two holes for the spokes in my door...?
(Squinting at shitty amazon listings trying to see if any knobs don't have the two spokes)
(I think the two spokes might be standard.)
Developing new respect for Jesus (carpenter).
In the meantime, because I'd already unscrewed a lot of things I DID take the genius action of flipping my current doorknob around.
This way the side that causes problems is on the INSIDE.
Doorknob fall of while INSIDE house significantly better than doorknob fall off while OUTSIDE.
New doorknob should get here tomorrow, but in the meantime things in the notes of this post:
Several dozen stories of other people getting locked in/out of bathrooms/basements/classrooms/bedrooms/buildings. Extra shout out to the person whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid4reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesdweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Patches is on my keyboard
whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid succession, to both sides of a classroom door after being saved the first time.
Several people taking this as a sign to go tighten their doorknob screws, including someone whose knob fell off in their hands while doing this
10 or so people reading the "can't have shit in Detroit" meme to mean I live in Detroit. Sorry to confess I'm a fake Detroitite. Doxxing myself by 0.00001% more by informing the world I live in not-Detroit.
Many many people wondering why I'm not pestering my landlord about this. Truth is my landlord is way too sexy, cool, fashionable, smart, pretty, funny, and popular on Tumblr to it's me. It's me. I'm me I'm my landlord. It's my condo. Including, with immense regret, every single doorknob inside.
3 separate professional locksmiths who have reached out offering advice, which is very cool. I have burst into a virtual hardware store clutching my shit doorknob and fainted, only to be caught by three very strong and cool locksmiths rushing to my aid.
Person with a story of dogsitting a friend's Tibetan Mastiff who managed to knock the entire backdoor down. Taking inspiration from this to train Patches in battering-ram techniques, should she ever get locked inside again.
