A Place To Share

Kelsey • 23 • A blog to vent to keep it seperate • Generalized Anxiety Disorder | Asthma | Allergies | Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS) | Crohn’s | Shizoaffective Disorder | etc.

[actuallyschizophrenic]

[double-blind-broken-mind]

Funny Sides of Disorganized Thinking/Behavior

- putting random objects in completely wrong places (like utensils in the fridge instead of the sink.)

-walking around with a random object in your hand for a reaaaaaallly long time.

-wondering where you put something for 30mins for someone to point out that you’re still holding it.

-if you hear someone in the background talking when you are speaking you add a random word they spoke to your speech.

-dressing the wrong way for hot or cold weather, looking crazy to the people that notice

-dropping your food on the floor because you forgot it was there then crying intensely about it.

-Starting on a thing, then another thing, then another thing, and eventually realizing nothing was finished.

-reading out loud and losing track of where you where so you re-read the same thing several times before noticing.

-introducing yourself more than twice to someone like it’s the first time you met them.

-”What was I doing or was I doing anything at all?”

-I HAVE TO PEE!! LIKE RIGHT NOW!

-Standing up to do something then forgetting what it was and sitting back down *repeat as necessary*

-Inappropriate laughter, because it’s funny to you but you don’t know why.

-having 100 tabs open on your browser.

-insanely random search history, one minute baking video’s, next minute discovering government conspiracies.

-yelling, crying,laughing for no reason

-sudden child like silliness

-

feel free to add on and re-blog

[myschizoass]

brain: you know what sounds fun and relaxing?

me: what

brain: thinking about everyone's ulterior motives against you

me: that doesn't sound very fun or relaxing

brain: TRY IT

me: ....ok

[lost-mind-of-a-schizophrenic]

Little psychosis things #21

When you feel like you’re faking everything because you had a good day or good moment.

[simonreese]

that schizophrenic feel when you just chillin but the silence is so blaringly loud and paranoia inducing so you put on a podcast you’re not invested in just so you can browse the internet

[schizophrenic-muggle]

The impact on my family...

See, with a normal post this is where I would give a sad story about how being schizo has impacted my entire family in some horrible way but not on this blog. You see it’s actually had a few fun little things. 

Example? Sure! 

So I’m just chilling at home when some weird noise comes from somewhere (random drunk screaming, foxes fighting or something falling over outside) and then I will hear from another room from my mother or brother “I HEARD IT TOO!!” which I find hilarious. I have no idea how this started but my family just like me to know that sometimes when I’m hearing weird shit they hear it too and it’s with such pure intent I just can’t not smirk every time it happens. It’s small supports like this from family or friends that make this journey a little easier to be on 

[myschizoass]

me: *reaches for closet door handle*

brain: stop!!!!

me: why? I need my hoodie

brain: who knows what's behind that door tho

me: damn... who needs warmth anyway

[schizophrenic-muggle]

So am I the only one who sees a fly when at a restaurant but doesn’t want to swat it in case it isn’t really there?

[this-is-psychosis]

I often talk about reality checking and going along with it when helping someone deal with delusions, but I felt as if I didn’t really make it clear to what I meant when I said it.

Recently I saw a post similar to “how to sneakily give your delusional friend a reality check when they told you not to” and honestly, that’ll just make us lose trust for you. Because we can tell when you do that.

[sweetschizo-deactivated20190808]

No but we need to talk about the deadly intersection between racism and ableism. Us white mentally ill people get far more leeway and room to act weird and mentally ill before we’re seen as a threat than black mentally ill people + other mentally ill people of color. We all fear violence and other shitty reactions from our surroundings, but facts are that people are far more likely to react more intensely and negatively to what they consider a “suspicious” black person than they would if it was a “suspicious” white person. White mentally ill people are more likely to be read by their surroundings as “weird” where visibly mentally ill people of color are more likely to be read as threatening, suspicious and dangerous due to the intersection of ableism and racism doubling their marginalization. And we as a community need to a acknowledge and talk about that.

[manicbones]

Some Asshole: You can’t be! Truly yourself! If you’re on medication! It’s changing the Real You™!

Me: if the real me is going to lie on the floor for 3 weeks and try to drown herself in the river I don’t want to know her, Barbara

[budgetrealgood-deactivated20210]

“Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing.

It is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution.

It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time and then needing to take deliberate, mandated breaks from living to do basic things like drop some oil into a bath and read Marie Claire and turn your phone off for the day.

A world in which self-care has to be such a trendy topic is a world that is sick. Self-care should not be something we resort to because we are so absolutely exhausted that we need some reprieve from our own relentless internal pressure.

True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.

And that often takes doing the thing you least want to do.

It often means looking your failures and disappointments square in the eye and re-strategizing. It is not satiating your immediate desires. It is letting go. It is choosing new. It is disappointing some people. It is making sacrifices for others. It is living a way that other people won’t, so maybe you can live in a way that other people can’t.

It is letting yourself be normal. Regular. Unexceptional. It is sometimes having a dirty kitchen and deciding your ultimate goal in life isn’t going to be having abs and keeping up with your fake friends. It is deciding how much of your anxiety comes from not actualizing your latent potential, and how much comes from the way you were being trained to think before you even knew what was happening.

If you find yourself having to regularly indulge in consumer self-care, it’s because you are disconnected from actual self-care, which has very little to do with “treating yourself” and a whole lot do with parenting yourself and making choices for your long-term wellness.

It is no longer using your hectic and unreasonable life as justification for self-sabotage in the form of liquor and procrastination. It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself” and start trying to take care of yourself… and maybe finding that taking care lovingly attends to a lot of the problems you were trying to fix in the first place.

It means being the hero of your life, not the victim. It means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from. It is no longer choosing a life that looks good over a life that feels good. It is giving the hell up on some goals so you can care about others. It is being honest even if that means you aren’t universally liked. It is meeting your own needs so you aren’t anxious and dependent on other people.

It is becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it.”

-Brianna Wiest, in Thought Catalog

[cwote]

it’s hard to not be happy knowing that youve survived everything youve been through :)

[positive-affirmation]

A guide to booking doctor’s appointments over the phone

Phone calls can be nerve-wracking enough and scheduling doctor’s appointments can make them seem even worse. But we’ve all got to do it at some point so here’s a brief guide on how to get through it.

Check you have the correct phone number. Either ask a relative who is registered at the same practice or have a look online. Now we don’t need to worry about having the wrong number.

Take a deep breath before calling. It’s just the reception team who are going to answer the phone. Often they are friendly and they are there to assist you. They deal with lots of different requests each day and a simple appointment schedule will be no problem.

Keep breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth when the phone is ringing. I find the ringing tone is one of the worst parts but you’ll get through soon so don’t panic and don’t put the phone down. Sometimes it can take a while to get through to reception because it can be busy. If you’re waiting for 10 or more minutes, put the phone down and promise to try again in 30 minutes time.

When the person answers the phone, all you need to say first is “Could I book a doctor’s appointment please?”. Read that sentence to them if you like. All you need to do is let the person on the other end of the line know what you need.

The person on the phone will now ask you some questions such as “what day/date would you like?”, “what time?”, “What’s your date of birth?”, “What’s your name?” and “Which doctor would you like to see?” These questions are to make sure they’re scheduling in the right person. If it helps you, right down the answers on a sheet of paper first so you don’t forget or get your words tangled.

If you need to see a specific doctor or nurse, all you need to say is “Could I book an appointment with Doctor/Nurse [enter name here]”. There person on the phone should then be able to provide you with some date and time options and you can pick the one that’s best for you.

If the person on the end of the phone asks you what the appointment is for, then you can make it as vague or as specific as you like. Some examples could be: “I need to get my prescription” or “I need a check-up” or “I need to re-evaluate my current medication with the doctor”. The people on reception hear a lot in a day. They are not judging you, they just want to make sure you’re going to the right person for the right thing.

Once you have your appointment agreed, write it down somewhere straight away. Preferably write it down on a piece of paper in front of you then when you come off the phone put a reminder in your phone calendar.

Thank the person on the other end of the line. It’s always nice to feel appreciated!

Put the phone down and give yourself a pat on the back. You did it! You made your appointment all by yourself! Well done, now go and make yourself a hot drink to calm your nerves.

[howilearnedtocope]

I generally say either “I’m trying to schedule a new patient appointment with Dr X” or “I’m a patient of Dr X and would like to schedule an appointment,” depending on whether I’m new to the office or not. That way the person on the other end knows whether your info will be in the system and what kind of appointment slot to give you! But if you don’t say this it’s ok, you’ll probably just get asked another question at some point :) 

Also, this is important: the person on the other end doesn’t care if you say no to a bunch of appointment times, or if you ask for an appointment weeks from now. Do not take an appointment time that doesn’t work for you just because you feel awkward! It’s ok! They won’t feel offended or judge you if you can’t make the first times they suggest. Unless it’s really urgent, I find it’s way better to go out a couple weeks if need be, rather than taking a time that will be stressful/bad for me.

[missmentelle]

How to Tell Your Friend That You Need a Break From Supporting Them

When I worked at a mental health crisis centre, I couldn’t believe how many people came to us, not because of their own problems, but because they were so lost in a friend’s pain that they couldn’t take it anymore. I saw a lot of people who were so worn down from helping someone else that they couldn’t sleep, eat, socialize or focus at work or school. They were consumed with guilt every time they put down their phones, went to sleep, or dared to enjoy themselves and have a good time. All because they had no idea how to set boundaries.  Helping your friends through a tough situation is a wonderful and noble thing to do, but it only works if you’re mentally in a place to do so. If you’re dealing with issues or mental illness of your own, you’re not always capable of being someone else’s shoulder to cry on 24/7. And that’s okay. Sometimes, you have to put yourself first. You can’t help someone else if you’re a mess yourself. You can’t save a drowning person with a sinking ship.  Telling a friend that you’re overwhelmed and you need a break is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. Honesty is the best policy - don’t go radio silent on them, or avoid answering their messages. Be honest about how you’re feeling, and what you need from them. If you’re stuck on what to say and how to start the conversation, here are a few suggestions. Feel free to copy them exactly: It’s really hard for me to admit this, but I’ve been feeling like I’m on the verge of a breakdown lately. I love you and I care about you, but I need to take some time to take care of myself for a while.  I’m really concerned about you, but I honestly don’t know how to deal with this and I’m worried I’ll say the wrong thing. I really think that you should talk to a professional about this.  This is hard for me to admit, but I have a lot going on in my life right now, and it’s getting to be too much for me. Would it be okay if we talked about lighter stuff for the next little while?

You deserve more support than I can give you. I think you need to tell a close family member or professional about what’s going on. 

It seems like every time we talk about this, things are worse for you. I’m worried that my advice isn’t helping you at all, and I think you should talk to someone more qualified than me. 

I’m really worried for your safety, and it breaks my heart, but I can’t keep you safe all by myself. Would it be okay if we told someone else what was going on? 

I’m sorry, but I can’t answer my text messages 24 hours per day. I really want to make sure that you always have someone to turn to if I’m not available. Are there some other people you would trust with this? I can help you tell them, if you’re not comfortable doing it by yourself.  I hope these suggestions are helpful - best of luck to all of you, and make sure to put your own mental health first when you have to. 

[acakewalkofcrocodiles]

Found it! 

[schizosupport]

As a support blog, we want to be able to help you to support others in your life dealing with difficult situations as well - but please be careful and make your health a priority as well! And if someone in your life is sacrificing their own health, please be gentle and forgiving with them as well ♡ have lovely days everyone!

[schizo-saurus]

Me: This seems an awful lot like it might be a delusion.

Me:

Me: But no yeah let’s stay terrified and tell no one

[schizomemes]