We the people are going to be the reason humanity dies out. It won't be a virus. It'll be war against our own kind.
cherry valley forever
todays bird
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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Claire Keane

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Not today Justin
d e v o n

JVL
Today's Document
tumblr dot com

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@howtobehuman0
We the people are going to be the reason humanity dies out. It won't be a virus. It'll be war against our own kind.
My room is genuinely so bad currently. It's embarrassing and shameful that I live like this. No one has seen my room in years. It gets better for a small time, then gets worse again.
Trash, food, bugs, fruit flies, mold, dust, bags, clothing, plates, bowls, silverware. A pathway that's clear, but everywhere else isn't.
I haven't washed my bedding in months, maybe a year. I have the time to clean. I just don't. It always seems too much or too hard. Or just no motivation to do it.
Then I'll clean a part of the room, feel good. Then it'll slowly get bad again. I never fully clean it. I never let my friends in it. I don't tell people about it.
It's just too embarrassing. I'm supposed to be better than this.
It's getting bad again. I wanna disappear. Let me disappear. I can't tell anyone.
Not a good day today. It was mostly neutral, but the thoughts keep coming back. Makes me so tired trying to keep them away. Sometimes they stay away or stay quiet. But then they get real loud, so loud I can't ignore them.
Then I get stuck in a thought loop.
I swear I'm slowly losing it. I've got no motivation. No hope for the future. I'm tired and done. Yet, I'm too much of a coward to do anything about it. What's the point of this bullshit. No one's going to miss me. Everyone else has their person. I'm the extra. I'm second place.
Time to ramble since I got no one else to ramble to (I'm convinced I'll bother them.)
My dudes, don't try overdosing. Unless it's some hard-core drugs, it ain't gonna really work. Personal experience, my dudes. Threw up a whole bunch, tummy hurt a lot, eyes didn't wanna focus properly, nausea. It just sucked.
TW: Mentions of Suicide
Sometimes, I wonder if you care how much you have hurt me. If you realize how much you damaged me.
As parent and child, I was supposed to trust you the most. I was supposed to be able to go to you for help and advice.
It didn't work out the way. You became the first tormentor in my life, one I couldn't get away from.
Your memory fails you when it comes to accountability, but it works just fine to point out my flaws and shortcomings.
You get upset when I need help with something. You get upset when my emotions are shown.
But then you get upset when I don't talk to you. You get upset when I don't talk on a deeper level with you. You love to remind me that I'm your child.
There is no right way with you. I can't win with you.