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Kuroo: Akaashi, what happened to Bokuto? Akaashi: Bokuto was about to hit his head on a bar at the playground, so I told him to duck and he quacked at me. Akaashi: And then he hit his head.

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Tanaka: Omg Daichi, you will never guess what happened today! Daichi: Keep talking. Tanaka: Noya, Shouyou and I were in the morning on the way to the gym hall. I noticed a dead bird at the side of the way. So, I told them "Look there's a dead bird!" and both of them looked in the sky and asked "WHERE?"

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Karasuno doing crosswords

Daichi: Guys, tell me another word for "water". Sugawara: H2O. Hinata: Fishes house! Tanaka: Ocean sauce. Kageyama: Tasteless soup. Nishinoya: Boneless ice! Daichi: No,- but thanks suga, it's the correct answer.

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Tendou: What does baby corn say to mommy corn? Tendou: "Where's popcorn?" Ushijima: Stop it. Tendou: I assume the joke was to corny for you.

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Kageyama: 80% milk, 20% yoghurt and 100% setter. Tsukishima: That's 200% Kageyama: I'm twice the man you'll ever be. Tsukishima: Uh-huh? Did our dear king made another mistake? The correct sentence would be "I'm twice the idiot you'll ever be.", king of idiot milkland. Kuroo: So Tsukki, you do agree that you are a full 100% idiot? Tsukishima: . . .

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Atsumu: I hate your surname. Sakusa: uh.. sorry,--? -Atsumu getting down on one knee- Atsumu: Let's change it.

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Karasuno in the morning of the trainingscamp

Hinata: What if mayonnaise came in cans? Kageyama: That would suck because you can't microwave metal. -Tsukishima coming into the room- Tsukishima: Good morning to everyone except for this two people.

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Daichi: Suga, let's watch some porns in my room. Suga: But Daichi, you don't have your computer in your room. Daichi: I don't, but I have a big mirror in it. Suga: . . . Suga: Hell yeah!!

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Bokuto: Akaashi, wanna come over and eat what my parents made? Akaashi: What'd they make? Bokuto: Me.

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Kenma a. Kuroo calling

Kenma: Question is do I stay in bed or get out of it? Kuroo: Both. You get out of your bed and get in mine.

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-Yamaguchi glances at Tsukishima- -Tsukishima smiles at Yamaguchi- Yamaguchi: I feel like my virginity is in danger.

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Bokuto: When you're gay in your house with nobody else, you're homolone. Kuroo: When you're bi and no one is around, you're biyourself. Tsukishima: When two idiots won't be quiet, you're committing a murder.

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Tendou borrows Ushijima's laptop

-Tendou sees Ushijima's google search history- Tendou: Ushiwaka, what's this? Ushijima: Porn. Tendou: No, below that. Ushijima: Tutorial how to boil water. Tendou: . . .

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Atsumu: Hey Omi, are you a painting? Sakusa: ..no,-? Atsumu: Because I would like to nail you against the wall. Bokuto: . . . Bokuto: Oh, thank God! I thought you were going to say, that you want to hang hin.

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Ukai asking for advice

Ukai: Kids, how can I say nicely to someone, that he is fired? Kageyama: You’re fired. Daichi: You’re unable to work here again. Nishinoya: You’re jobn’t. Tsukishima: You’re promoted to a customer. Ukai: Why did I even ask?

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Bokuto: Sakusa and Atsumu saying they are straight is like me saying I'm vegetarian. Bokuto: THEY ARE BOTH LIES NOBODY WOULD BELIEVE!! Akaashi: It's 4am, did you call me just to rant?

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Bokuto: Why I would fuck a demon? Simple; the status. Imagine you and your friends arriving at the gates of hell, they are all crying, scared to death and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon. Legendary. Akaashi: Bokuto, it's 3am. What the fuck. Kuroo: No,- Continue, you have a point. Tsukishima: Can you all please go where you belong to? Bokuto: In a barbecue restaurant? Akaashi: In a coffin? Kuroo: In your bed? Tsukishima: No, back to Tokyo and out of my fucking room.