peer support resources

[wetheurban]

Don’t expect others to show up as the person you need to become for yourself. That part is yours.

[sapphling]

the more time you spend in active recovery from any given self destructive behavior or addiction the more you understand the common conception of the "relapse" as defined by a broken "streak" to be, like, so bad for one's own well-being that it would be funny if it weren't resulting in just a lot of misery and death

[the-peoples-puppy]

I told my girlfriend to think of quitting vaping as training her endurance by seeing how long she can run before she gets tired, then doing it again and hoping to go further next time. She said it really helped her.

[scarletsaphire]

This is the stages of change model, with each circle being a part of the process of growth. You'll notice how relapse is not a failing of the model, or a set back, but an active step in continuing to grow and change. Everytime you relapse, you learn something; maybe a certain time of year is difficult for you. Maybe certain people push you back into the habit. Maybe your other coping skills/replacement habits didn't work how you wanted and you need to strengthen them, or develop new ones. Maybe it's not quite as clear cut and you need to spend the time figuring out what exactly went wrong so you can catch it next time. It doesn't matter the exact lesson, but it's part of the process.

[unwelcome-ozian]

[traumasurvivorsactivities]

Self-Care Activity

This week, let’s find a way to practice self care in each of the following categories: emotional, physical, practical and social

The goal is to do at least two things from any two categories this week. I’ll list some examples, but there are more options for each thing so feel free to think of your own!

For this activity, pick something from two categories and plan (write down if you can) how you plan to do it. And then… do it or at least plan when to do it.

Bonus option: pick something from each category.

Emotional

Enjoy a hobby

Try a new hobby

Intentionally rest

Spend some time in nature

Try journaling or continue your journaling

Practice a new breathing technique or grounding technique

Try an adult colouring book (or not an adult one, whatever you want!)

Schedule time to “unplug” from your phone and internet.

Watch a comfort movie or show

Physical

Schedule the appointment you need

Drink enough water

Go for a short walk

Do an exercise

Practice good hygiene (have a shower, brush teeth, etc)

Try to get a full night’s sleep or take a nap

Take a bubble bath

Cook yourself a meal

Have a cup of tea

Do stretching

Use a face mask

Practical

Tidy up your room

Make a to-do list

Make a plan for your week

Do some homework and/or study

Deep clean something you normally don’t like your fridge or re-organize your closet

Wash your sheets

Donate or otherwise get rid of things you no longer need

Social

Reach out to a friend for support

Check in with someone you haven’t talked to in awhile

Do a fun activity with your partner or a friend or plan one for the future

Meet new people whether it’s in person or online

Find a new forum/group where you can talk to others with a similar interest

Set a boundary where it may be needed (or think about boundaries you might want to set in the future)

Make a point to spend more time with your pet, just enjoying them.

Feel free to share what you plan to do, and check in when you’ve done them!

Also please feel free to share other ideas.

[traumasurvivorsactivities]

Self-Care Checklist Activity

This activity involves making your own checklist! If you are feeling off, or struggling with taking care of yourself, it will serve as a handy list you can go through. You might include things like having a tea, going outside for 5 minutes, stretching. Keep in mind, self-care isn't always things we want to do but sometimes things we need to do. A mixture of nurturing activities like having a bubble bath and necessary activities like drinking water are good.

Once you're done, feel free to post your list in our community, and/or on this post! There's no pressure to do this of course, but the option is there if you want it!

There's no time limit on this, feel free to do this whenever you want.

If you complete this task, please hang on to your list! It might come in handy with a challenge I have coming later this week. (Also, the general point is to have it for times of need).

[traumasurvivorsactivities]

Let's do a grounding exercise together! - 54321 Method

I know a lot of people often think about grounding as something that's reserved for panic attacks or things like that, but grounding can be good for almost any overwhelming emotion. It can be good to just center yourself. Even if you aren't feeling stressed, if you're up to it, take a moment and do this. This is still good to do when you're perfectly calm because this allows you to practice so that it will be easier to remember when you're stressed. (I don't recommend waiting until you're stressed to try a grounding exercise for the first time.)

We're going to look at the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Feel free to do this in your head, write it down somewhere private or share your answers in the replies, tags or reblogs.

Step 1 - Start with breathing if you can. Breathe in to the count of five, hold it for five seconds, and breathe out to the count of five. (If five is too long, feel free to adjust this to four.)

Step 2 - What are 5 things you can see around you? Examples: the clock on the wall, a plant on the windowsil, etc.

Step 3 - What are 4 things around you that you can touch? If you're up to it, also touch them and think about what they feel like (soft, hard, rough, etc). Examples: Maybe it's the blanket on your bed, maybe you're sitting on a chair, etc.

Step 4 - What are 3 things around you that you can hear? Examples: Maybe it's your cat purring, the fridge running, maybe there are birds outside, etc.

Step 5 - What are 2 things around you that you can smell? If you are not in an environment where you can smell something, feel free to move somewhere that you can or even bring a scent to the space (like body spray, body lotion, etc).

Step 6 - What is 1 thing you can taste? I find that people sometimes get frustrated with this one because if you haven't recently brushed your teeth or eaten, taste isn't easily identifiable. As an alternative if you don't currently taste something, what is is something you like to taste?

Step 7 - Take one final deep breath, counting to five as you breathe in, holding for five seconds, and then counting to five as you breathe out.

Step 8 - Take a moment to be proud of yourself. You did it and made it through this! If you can, try and put this aside to try and do once a day so that it may come to you easier in a time you need it.

[traumasurvivorsactivities]

Happiness List Activity

The goal of this activity is to write a list of things that make you feel happy or content. This could include things like “petting my dog, watching my favourite show, etc”. While your feelings are always valid and you’re allowed to feel them, sometimes for those who struggle with emotional permanence, when we feel things are bad… That’s all we can feel. And it’s easy to forget that we can feel happy. This list can remind you of that, or even serve as a prompt to go partake in one of the things on it.

Once you’re done, feel free to post your list or send a picture of a physical one, or post in our community.

There’s no time limit on this, feel free to do this whenever you want.

[traumasurvivorsactivities]

Letters You Don't Have to Send Activity

When words build up inside you and there’s nowhere safe to put them, this activity can help you release some of the pressure.

Choose someone to write to:

Someone who hurt you

Someone who didn't believe you

Someone who never listened

Someone who invalidated you

Write the letter. You don't have to be kind, fair or any one specific thing. Just be honest.

Alternatively, you could write to versions of you.

Past you

Future you

The you that is still scared

The you that is still angry

If you write to yourself, I really encourage you to show yourself some compassion. While it's valid to be angry with yourself, and express that, I encourage you to write this one as something you'd say to someone you love.

Then you can choose what to do with the letter.

Tear it up

Burn it

Put in a journal

Save it to figure out what to do with it later

You get to choose how you hold your truth, and I hope that you can feel that with this letter.

[traumasurvivorsactivities]

Create an Anchoring Pouch

The goal of this one is to be something small that could ideally fit in your pocket, or a bag that you carry with you to have access at all times.

These items could include:

A crystal or pebble

A scrap of fabric with a texture you like

A note from a loved one

An affirmation you or someone else wrote

Something scented (there are scented stickers, or perhaps even a favourite tea bag or perfume sample)

Whatever the items you choose, they should go into a small bag, pouch or box. Carry these with you, and touch them/read them when needed. These are meant to be little anchors, and a reminder that you are here and you are not alone.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

What you call self-sabotage might just be your body saying: "Familiar pain feels safer than unfamiliar peace"

What you call procrastination might just be your body saying: "I'm overwhelmed and everything feels too much"

What you call anxiety might just be your body saying: "I've been in danger before, and I don't know if it's over yet"

What you call neediness might just be your body saying: "I didn't get what I needed, and I'm still longing"

What you call overreacting might just be your body saying: "This feels like danger to me because it once was"

What you call emotional instability might just be your body saying: "I was never taught that feeling emotions could be safe"

What you call resistance might just be your body saying: "I don't feel safe enough to do what you want me to"

What you call laziness might just be your body saying: "I'm frozen because I had to work hard for too long"*

What you call numbness might just be your body saying: "I had to shut down to keep you safe"

What you call avoidance might just be your body saying: "Im not ready to face this yet. I need slower exposure to it"

(the.trauma.educator on ig)

*gentle reminder that body gets tired also after doing mentally draining work/job (which includes feeling stressed too, not just studying or working 9-5 in front of a computer -which holds responsabilities, anyway)

[hugyourbrain]

[hugyourbrain]

[the-healing-mindset]

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A post shared by Hillary Nicole Segura Castro (@soulful_therapist)

[headspace-hotel]

I ask for help and the help tells me to do coping skills and take care of my body, which is fine but it's also part of the problem. You see, other college students are pulling all-nighters, having Red Bull for breakfast and Flamin' Hot Cheetos for lunch, and they feel better when they do box breathing. I am eating balanced meals, drinking nothing but water, sleeping 8 hours, showering and going on daily walks, and it's kept me alive enough to feel like I'm dying. If I skipped breakfast for one day I would disintegrate like the bottom right corner of the periodic table

[scenerwiththegreenery]

I'm an academic coach on my campus, and this is actually an issue that I struggle with: What do you suggest when a student is doing everything we'd like students to be doing, and still struggling?

Most of my students struggle to do at least one of the self-care things you listed. They don't sleep enough, so I work with them on their schedule, optimize their time so they get another hour or two of sleep a night. They run on fumes, so I help them find time to actually make it to the dining hall, connect them with campus resources to get free food if finances are tight, get them a reusable water bottle they can fill at the stations all over campus so they stay hydrated. They don't get outside enough, so we do our coaching session outside, walking around campus so they can get some air and time away from a screen. They're anxious and stressed, so I provide self-regulation resources, connect them with our counseling center or help them find time to go to a workshop, etc. They need someone to listen, so I do, and they feel better just for being heard.

But every once in a while, we get a student like you. We can refer out to disability services, but they're backed up for ages and there's only so much they can do. None of the usual suspects are things these students need help with. They eat and sleep better than I do, they are doing so much to care for themselves, and yet they need help, and I'm at a loss for what to offer them.

What do you need someone to be able to offer you? What would help when you're already doing everything you can and somehow it's not helping? How could someone help?

[headspace-hotel]

I don't know. I need rest. I get so overloaded from long class periods that have a lot of small groups discussion or watching videos. This on top of the sensory overload from dining hall, the leafblowers, the lawn mowers, the traffic, the construction of the new building, the fuckin crosswalks.

I need classes where I can just take notes on a lecture sometimes, not necessarily worry about interacting with my classmates. I need classes with few big assignments rather than a million tiny ones, so I can just. rest when I need to rest, and I can arrange to work on the homework when I'm actually feeling up to it.

I'm not going to be steadily productive every single day. Just, give me a 20 page paper or something and a month to write it, so I can work on it for 5 hours when I feel like it, and sleep all day when I feel like it.

It's all structural. It's embedded into the way the classes are set up.

If I can't have a class structure that works for me, I need it to be okay to be a little slower and a little tireder than everyone else. I need to miss class sometimes. Just let me rest.

Idk. Maybe college isn't right for me. But back when I was a freshman, I thrived so much, and then the burnout hit and...I haven't been the same, idk.

[madintheattic14]

I'm not a college counselor, but I used to do peer mentoring for first semester students and I am personally used to figuring out how to do weird things that work for me.

Seems like the noise walking around is an issue. Could you wear ear plugs or headphones or something when you are outside on campus during busy times? If that is at least one less thing to deal with it might make the unavoidable things a little less draining.

I'm going to assume changing your major isn't possible, but how much wiggle room do you have in which classes or professors you're taking to fill requirements? You might be able to find ones that put more emphasis on the style that works for you. You can usually find old syllabi either in a database your school has, from other students, or just by emailing the professor explaining you are thinking about taking the class and want to know more about the format of the class and/or what you are looking for.

You could maybe take fewer courses during a semester. Dropping below the hour count to be a full-time student usually has effects on scholarships or other student services, but if dropping a class is the difference between getting through the semester and not, then just take the W and come back to it next semester.

And don't forget about just talking to your professors. Nearly all the faculty I've ever met are willing to work with students to figure out ways to help them succeed in class. You might be able to arrange alternative assignments so you could do a big paper or presentation instead of 10 reading responses or whatever. You might be able to request an alternative to group work. The school disability offices will probably be able to help negotiate accomodations and support some of them (like record the lectures and show up to watch the recording at office hours or under other supervision instead of class once a week so you can have a quieter environment? Extra time on assignments?) but some professors might be willing to be flexible even without that. (Some of them will not be and there will always be limitations depending on the class, but you never know what's possible until you ask)

Next semester, You might be able to take a class independent study and arrange with the prof what the workload would be like. This might especially work if you have a good relationship with faculty in you major or there is a class that is required but the format absolutely won't work for you. You might be able to arrange your class schedule with longer breaks between classes or playing with the day of the week your classes are on so you have 1-2 days with a long gap for naps.

And for some last-ditch more complicated options, if you are at a really large school, you might do better transferring to a rural/smaller school where campus or your classes would be smaller and less overwhelming. Or it might be possible to take a leave of absence/medical leave for a semester or two depending on your situation. Then you could come back and finish up when things are going better.

[headspace-hotel]

Already use noise-dampening earmuffs basically whenever I'm outside my room, lowered course load isn't possible for stupid reasons specific to the institution.

I'm actually doing an independent major. I went to extraordinary lengths to be able to configure my classes and schedule the way I want, but due to, again, stupid reasons specific to the institution, it hasn't actually given me very much flexibility and I almost feel like I was tricked into it. I have designed an independent study as well, but I vastly overestimated the amount of work I would be able to do, because my passions are bigger than the body I was given to achieve them. Sadly.

I'm in regular communication with all my professors about my disability and limitations, unfortunately they are often at a loss as to what to do to help me and I am too. Professors have been way more helpful than disability services.

Unfortunately classes being overwhelmingly reliant on group work makes it near impossible to configure assignments according to individual needs. My previous college wasn't like this, I don't know why this one is.