Face Reading for Kids Lesson 5: Sadness
(Remember: HIGHLY SIMPLIFIED for a specific 5th Grader who is interested in acting and cartooning! If you want something more comprehensive, you’ll need to go to the library or get training.You should be able to long tap or right-click the worksheets.)
a.  Outer side of eyes angle down.
b.   Skin of the eyebrows in the shape of a triangle. (Pyramid eyebrows)
c.    Corners of lips down, lips may even shake.
d.   Sadness may or may not result in tears.
“Pyramid eyebrows” might only apply to microexpressions right at the point someone thinks of something sad.
If they have a neutral expression, but are crying, this doesn’t mean false sadness. It’s far more likely a masking expression if they need to be strong for others, shock, or weariness. A “thousand yard stare” is likely real sadness.
Part of the face is far more likely to be exaggerated in false sadness. Here is Lucy pretending to be sad.
This child is pretending to be sad. Her eyebrows are in a neutral position and her bottom lip is exaggerated. She’s trying very hard to get someone to do something she wants by threatening to cry. Cover her mouth and see for yourself.
Extreme sadness makes some people want to hide. This is universal and has been going on thousands of years.
A lot of mammals have the same basic sadness facial cues.
But, Puss in Boots is trying way too hard. His facial expression is correct but exaggerated. He’s using the Big Eyes Thing to get someone to do what he wants (and to be funny.)
Don’t mix up sad and depressed.
People sometimes say they are “depressed” when they feel sad. Depression is an emotional sickness that doesn’t show up on the face, and though it can manifest as sadness, it feels more blank, hopeless, or endless than typical sadness. “Depressed” is not one of the universal emotions because it looks different on everyone.
Depressed people may cry, or they may not react at all to things they normally like, or they may mask as if everything is fine.
This is Robin Williams, a comedian who almost always had a Duchenne Smile. Or he seemed to. He had depression when this picture was taken. Is there anything in this picture that might make you think this is a fake smile?
Don’t mix up sadness and shame.
There is no universal expression for a complicated feeling called “shame”.Â
Shame is a feeling of unworthiness because of how others may judge a person or their actions, in our culture it’s often a mixture of sadness and fear, sometimes disgust. Lies and deception are used by people who feel shame in order to protect themselves, and then they feel shame for being dishonest. They would rather not talk at all (remember, we call this “tight-lipped”).
Toxic Shame vs. Personal Shame
Like lies and deception, there are selfish and personal versions of shame. Toxic shame is shame over hurting others. Personal shame is, well, personal. People may be ashamed of how others view them, or of how something about them may affect their friends, family, or job.
The main thing to remember about personal shame is you cannot always judge others by your standards where shame is involved. Shame depends heavily on a person’s confidence and available support network. Something one person may be ashamed of may be something someone else is proud of.
For instance, it may seem silly to you for someone to deny eating a donut, but for people who have health issues, they may feel ashamed they weren’t eating healthy, then they will feel ashamed if they get caught fibbing about it. Try to help this person’s confidence in other ways without drawing attention to this. Never say their feelings are silly just because you don’t feel that way.
If you suspect someone’s shame arises from hurting others, you need to document and report this to an authority figure. This is toxic and there is good reason for them to be ashamed. Don’t try to fix it yourself.
You may want to fake sadness while acting as or writing a character, or because you sense you’re supposed to be sad in a social situation but aren’t feeling it, or, as always, if you need to improvise deception to help an innocent person.
So, how can someone fake real sadness? Do this mostly the same way as happiness:
1.   Cover the bottom half of your face and practice in a mirror, making sure to move your eyebrows in and up. Be careful not to lift your eyebrows all the way up. This makes you look surprised.
2.   The mouth is hard to fake. You need to turn the corners of your mouth down without sticking out your bottom lip or holding your lips together too tightly. This is where most people make mistakes. In our culture, tight lips sometimes signify someone is ashamed and doesn’t want to talk. Practice is key.
3.   Use Sense Memory. Make a list of things that always make you sad and pull one out of your memory when you need real sadness. Try to keep yourself from thinking about things that make you sad until you need them for a scene. You may dull their effect by becoming used to sadness, and negative emotions are the one thing you don’t want your brain becoming good at.
4.   Find something to be sad about in the moment. When you can relate to a character or a song, you may start feeling their sadness.
5.   If you need to cry, but you can’t, strong smells and smoke can make your eyes water. The easiest way to make yourself cry is with a freshly cut onion. Onions release a sulfur-based compound that causes reflex tears. All you need then is a facial expression to match.
Don’t act sad to manipulate people for selfish reasons. This is something toxic people do. Don’t be toxic.