sad!

ana/20/u.s.a. young adult skeleton w/ cigarette

[denisvileneuve]

the man, the myth, the legend: Captain Raymond Holt

[lucentgallivanter]

me: i love you but please, please do not step on my keyboard. go a foot out of your way and go around

my lovable yet ungrateful cat, a troublegirl and a fiend: you could sooner divert a river from its course than deny my nature 

[floralgoddex-deactivated2018061]

straight person: but how do you Know when someone around you is gay?

me: today in yoga class our instructor said “this exercise is about being straight” and i immediately said “i’ve never been good at that” and only one (1) woman laughed. she had four piercings in her ears. what else do you need me to tell you

[haveamagicalday]

Happy Pride Month!

[okaymad]

[riibrego]

how to draw a rat step 1: draw any shape step 2: congrats

[gahdamnpunk]

She didn’t have to flex this hard 😤😤

[silvermarmoset]

the new batch of love for john mulaney here on tumblr has got me thinking how critical costume design is once again. john mulaney is a good comedian, but so much of his power comes from how his humor plays off how he’s dressed. we don’t expect a man dressed like a 1960s news announcer, all clean scrubbed and tight-wound professional, to describe in minute detail the visit where a doctor shoved a hand up his ass. imagine any iconic john mulaney set but given in jeans and a t-shirt, and is it as funny? i don’t think so. his humor spreads like wildfire on this website because the image of a man in a buttoned-up shirt and a tie and slicked back hair with fairly narrow lapels on his three-piece suit is fucking hysterical when paired with “years later I’d be in college about to go down on some rockin’ twink and i’d be like what would leonard bernstein do”

[6qubed]

well I do recall a comedian telling about how he accidentally joined the russian mafia on a school trip in college, and this was made more believable by the fact that he was shirtless with a beer belly while telling this story

[6qubed]

since someone asked

[jemthecrystalgem]

Frick thank you so much

[commandtower-solring-go-deactiv]

THE MACHINE

[owlmylove]

sometimes u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order

[neechoudai]

Here’s to Danny Phantom, the first superhero whose main power is to Die On Command

[hatsuzuki-deactivated20211122]

This is probably still my favorite drug “advertisement”

[soulspideys]

every time john mulaney references his former drug habits i laugh because i just can’t picture him smoking anything other than a cuban cigar in 1940 on the deck of a beach house in massachusetts 

[fanonical]

self care is downing a whole bottle of felix felicis and fighting the dark lord behind a mcdonalds at 3am

[debbie-sketch]

La Panadería  ♡

[babyanimalgifs]

He can’t wait to go to doggy school…

[blindiezone]

At first I thought it was going to be, like, a car but when it was actually a bus it made this video even better!

[thesanityclause]

the most wholesome content

[ceriseal]

[tonightweredrinkingfromthebong]

theyre talking about a moose

[zookeeperproblems]

Zookeeper conversations out of context…

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Look if the 7 feet tall murder deer wants a little confidence you better give it to her before she caves in your chest.