Thoughts Rambled Into The Abyss

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'X-Men: Season One' Review aka "the nerdy uncle dilemma"

'X-Men: Season One' is a good "year one" kind of story starring the O5 - Angel, Beast, Cyclops, Iceman and the spotlight/centerpiece of our story Marvel Girl/Jean Grey. It's less a retcon and more an updating… bywhichimean Jean is a real character instead of "the girl". But I think the bullet points are the same as those early years of X-Men comics - Scott/Jean/Warren love triangle, a fight with the Brotherhood Of Evil Mutants and Unus The Untouchable, Professor X is kind of a jerk... you know, the classics, lol.

Dennis Hopeless/Hallum wrote this (before he did 'All-New X-Men' which again featured the O5) and it's great! I'd totally get it for my niece and nephews… except it also contains an issue of Utopia-era X-Men and page 1 has a big pic of Emma Frost and her tig ol' bitties. I dont mean to big crude about it but Emma rocks an outfit that is gonna be a nonstarter for the children's eyes. Which is a shame because this story really works on all other cylinders! Hopeless/Hallum's writing is easy to follow and understand. Jamie McKelvie is on art and it looks so clean. Though there is this thing with Professor X's eyebrows that McKelvie seems *deeply* committed to, which is kinda funny but also super random.

This was a deal that was 90% sealed and then really dropped the ball for me. Or rather for the kids. Anyway, if you're over 13, yeah, it's great! If you're under 13, stop when it says "The Beginning!" (instead of "the end").

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Something Is Killing The Children (the horror book)

Just finished it and yeah, it's pretty good! "It" is the indie comic that everyone loves - 'Something Is Killing The Children'. The whole thing, like A Tribe Called Quest! If you're a horror fan, I very much recommend it. Even if comics arent necessarily your thing, I'd recommend trying this one. James Tynion IV is the writer and has a great little story here. No doubt! But also the art style - Werther Dell’Edera on pencils & inks, with Miquel Muerto on colors -  really boosts it up a notch. That's why: if you like horror, there's a handful of horror comics I know where they excel at being comic books. It's a brilliant union of writing and drawing to create a wonderful piece of art. This nails that. Yeah, the monsters look cool, but when you see the carnage? Shyeah buddy! Here we go! Also, I like that Erica is drawn in a way that she looks so wildly different from anyone else. She's got only one eye visible most of the time and the bottom half of her face is almost always covered. Which is something from The Before Times that has aged pretty well. Anyway, yeah. This is a semi-easy read. Uh, there's gonna be some death here so that might not be "easy" necessarily... but Tynion's dialogue is pretty breezy and will keep things moving. Absolutely recommended! I have to imagine the library has this in print, but I read it on Hoopla. Good stuff!

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The Darkhold (event)

So, I read 'The Darkhold' event on Hoopla. It's... mid, to be honest. It's one of those undercard events Marvel does every now n then that will ultimately not matter but could be a fun time. This does have some good parts - the Alpha & Omega issues werent really for me and I skipped the Blade issue a few panels deep. Here's the deal: someone digs up The Darkhold, a book of evil magic that also keeps an evil magician at bay. SPOILER: it's Dr. Doom. The Scarlet Witch often has to deal with The Darkhold and said evil magician (Cthon), so she gets wrangled into this mess. Wanda figures out that she needs five warriors to defeat Chthon and she assembles her crew of five. She tells them to read a little bit of a story in The Darkhold, and things predictably go off the rails. Also, this plan is bad. Whatever though, the event is off and running. So that was all in the beginner Alpha issue. Things close out in the Omega issue. In between, each of the five get their own issue of "things have gone to SHIIIIIIIIT!" They are surprisingly solid on their own (though I skipped the Blade one). They don't quite come together though. The Iron Man one does setup Darkhold Tony and it is BALLS CRAZY. The others dont really do tie back in though? Wasp's maybe does, as her changes are largely just "different outfit". Spider-Man seems to change a lot and his issue doesnt address *any* of it (even though it's good). The Black Bolt issue is really good and if you dig like ‘The Twilight Zone’, you’ll probably really enjoy it. But then we close out with the Omega issue for the boss fight. It's fine, if a bit generic in the Alpha and Omega issues. The one-shots in the middle will largely determine if you'd rank this positively or negatively, but the event does lack cohesion as a whole. It can be found now on Hoopla.

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Harrow County

'Harrow County' is one that's been on the radar for a bit but always got put on the backburner. It's super good though! Cullen Bunn & Tyler Crook deliver a spooky tale about... a witch? If you liked the Sabrina show on Netflix, it's kinda like that. There's other scary things, but at the center of it, it's a witch. Uh, it's a lil bit country / farmland, but nothing too crazy. Truth be told, it's ambiguous when or where this all happens. I kinda like that though, honestly. Cullen Bunn's writing is pretty good, the best I've seen from him. I think he's from or living in St. Chuckles but he's a Missouri dude for sure. Tyler Crook... WOW. I love this art because it's really nonthreatening... and yet, it can also amp up the horror when it needs to. Operating on both levels is a real visual treat! This is an easy read and might be okay for a tweenager. Nothing super scary or violent... but there is one recurring- well, technically two I guess... thing in here that might fall into the PG13 realm. Story is generally lighter than it could be, so this feels like a gateway horror book. WHICH I LOVE. Available now on Hoopla and highly recommended!

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Phantom of The Opera (Live At Royal Albert Hall)

I'm not really a theater kid (actually got kicked out of and banned from the theater group in HS). That said, if you're a theater/play nerd, you have GOT to check out 'Phantom Of The Opera' Live At Royal Albert Hall. POTO is like a legendary play, and this particular performance of it is fire. It's the 25th Anniversary of it, and there is a fantastic "post-credits" thing. Just let it play baybay. But yeah, this rendition is A-PLUS. Ramin Karimloo is a phenomenal Phantom, both sympathetic and menacing. Bro can *sing*. Hadley Fraser also does really well as Raoul! But the gem here is Sierra Boggess. I dont know if she's a thing in the stageplay world, but MAI GAHD SHE HAS SOME *PIPES* ON HER. Also, like it's a good play and all... but there are several times where people are belting out their songs over one another - all of them have power in their lungs, so it gets a little murky what they're saying. The gift of subtitles baybay! If you've never seen 'Phantom Of The Opera', this one is really good. If you have, I still very much recommend it for the 25th anniversary stuff at the very end. This is a really good time, and *highly* recommended!

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RAMBLIN REVIEW: Brian M. Bendis’ SUPERMAN Run

Porting a bunch of Ramblin Reviews over from Facebook. I posted two reviews of Brian Michael Bendis’ SUPERMAN run (spanning both ‘Action Comics’ and ‘Superman’). Gonna play it loose with spoilers in here.

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I posted before about Brian Michael Bendis' Superman starter, "Man Of Steel". I circled back for the whole thing though, and continued on with the 'Superman' title, so "The Unity Saga" storyline. It's... not good. Bendis largely seems to be making it up as he goes, across the two volumes. While this isnt inherently bad, not everyone can make it work. And Bendis does *not* make it work here. Going in, it's a big ol' thing of "how is Clark gonna get back to Lois & Jon?" Spoiler: Jon just *shows up* again. With some differences though, and what all happened does get recapped. Spoiler: Lois just shows up, but like she never left. Like Superman takes Jon to Lois and is like, "Look who I found, ah!?" No, Clark was moping through all of MOS because his wife & child lef... WHA- and even that plotline feels entirely freestyled! Look, all of this features *beautiful* art. Just stellar stuff from Ivan Reis, Joe Prado, and the various other artists. Comic books are at their best when both the writing and art are on the same level. The art is a majestic bald eagle flying through clear skies. The writing is a hopeful teen doing parkour for the first time. BMB being BMB, he was writing both 'Superman' and 'Action Comics'. Maybe some of this will be sorted in AC, but you can skip "The Unity Saga".

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So, that was my reading of “Superman’. I then tried out the ‘Action Comics’ part. It didn’t get better.

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Five volumes deep into Bendis' Superman run and it's a mess. "Man Of Steel" was a good-but-not-great kickoff and showed a good grasp of how to write Superman. Like, character-wise. There's this thing throughout MOS, the first two 'Superman' collections, the first two 'Action Comics' collections, and this "Event Leviathan" event where things happen out of order. For seemingly no reason. Is it page-spacing? Because we can drop a little bit of fluff in order to TELL A STORY IN A COHERENT WAY. Even the dialogue, long considered THE strength of BMB, feels disjointed at times. It's really weird. This... feels like someone trying to be Bendis. Except it *is* Bendis and he's just *that* off his game. The art is largely good throughout these books but the story being harder and harder to follow makes it harder and harder to appreciate the art. That first Action collection is good and really sets things up with positive momentum. Then this Leviathan bullshit comes up and squanders *every* ounce of good will I had coming in. This is wildly disappointing. Like... I get why no one was talking about Bendis' Superman run as it was coming out. This is so far removed from any expectations.

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RAMBLIN REVIEW: Boone The Bounty Hunter

'BOONE The Bounty Hunter' is this hidden gem of an action flick. If you grew up loving one-man army action flicks from like Van Damme, Schwarzenegger, Seagal, Chuck Norris... stop reading, get Tubi on your streaming device, and fire this up. It is John Hennigan's *baby* - wrote, directed, produced, starred. Wrestling fans may recognize "Johnny Lastname" from runs in WWE (John Morrison) or Impact Wrestling (Johnny Impact). It is a movie that isnt perfect, but *wildly* above *all* expectations for it. Spencer Grammer, the bad guy from 'Kindergarten Cop', Corbin Bernsen, the kid from 'Jerry Maguire', Kevin Sorbo, "Rampage" Jackson... It is a cast with familiar faces but all attainable for something like this. And honestly, everyone does great. Some do better than others, sure, but no one is lacking. It's fun. Like that had to be *the* goal for Johnny Parkour here - just make a fun action flick that FX will air on weekends. And HOLY HELL, 'BOONE' hits that mark and goes beyond it. Like... just give it a shot. If you grew up in STL, this would *live* on Channel 11 between commercials for Becky The Carpet & Tile Queen and the Parkmour. It takes itself just seriously enough to be a really good time, but always has a smile about it. Just... wow. This shouldnt be as good as it is, but god damn I loved it. Available to stream now on Tubi!

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V/H/S

'V/H/S' is a movie that usually gets recommended at Halloween time. It's definitely not one I would recommend. Plot-wise, some degents from upcountry break into a house to steal a VHS tape. But there's a bunch of them. So they have to watch them to figure out which one is *the* one. That's the framing device of this anthology flick. And the stories told arent bad... kinda. This is made by someone that worshipped at the altar of horror VHS tapes. Think Adam from 'The Goldbergs', but instead of general nerdy shit, it's like all horror. Now, you might think, "Jack, that sounds like you'd love it." It's in the "found footage" genre and this thing is ABYSMALLY shot. The camerawork in the framing device is shoddy and it makes the first story nearly incomprehensible. I get that "it's in the moment" and "you cant get a good shot when you're panicking". Eh. I see your point, but even grading this on the found footage curve, it still gets an F from me. Using tracking issues to jump ahead in the plot is a good trick. Using tracking issues to add suspense to stories that are already a bit dodgy? That's a shortcoming. The most egregious one is probably the forest one, where it's really hard to tell what the actual f*** is happening. It's essentially like a 'Friday The 13th, Part 13th'. The killer cannot be caught on video which is fine and visually cool. Like you can tell where the dude is but it's scrambled. If you remember that Christmas nightmare episode of 'Black Mirror' with John Hamm, it's kinda like that. However, ol' boy just randomly appears like a video game glitch. Like it's not really explained how or why he is able to do this, and that's what makes these wild swings miss more often than not. Seeing them is absolute hell, but there are some sweet special effects in here. The "haunted house" thing that closes us out has some frankly incredible visual frights. It's a bumpy f***ing road to get there though. If you dont do well with shaky cam or motion sickness, do not even attempt to watch this. It's certainly unique and obviously there's a market for it. There's like three or four of these, with one having just come out (pretty sure it's the fourth). So if you dig it, there's more out there for you. And I wont fault someone for taking a big swing like this. But uh... it just did not work for me. Also, we're definitely on shaky ground with trigger warnings for sexual assault (it doesnt happen but it's kind of threatened/setup) and self-harm (which you *do* see, explicitly). I dunno. Not for me. Cant really recommend it either. I caught it on Pluto TV, if you want to check it out. At least do it for free.

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Wishmaster

'Wishmaster' is *significantly* wilder than I thought it would be. The acting is mediocre. The special effects are great, though over-the-top. That's less about the SFX themselves (which are pretty good for the time) and more about what the story/script called for. I have to imagine the SFX team were having the *time of their lives* on this thing. Like there's gore, but also monsters and... uh, maybe some CGI type stuff. The story here is that our main gal is being haunted by a djinn. This is a horror version of a genie. I think the djinn came first but the genie is more popular (RIP Robin Williams, and shout out to Barbara Eden from 'I Dream Of Jeanie'). So, a djinn is from like another world/dimension beyond ours and the wall between their realm and ours is thin. By granting (read: twisting) wishes, the djinn can bring their realm into ours. Uh, somewhere between Freddy Krueger from the first one and the Cenobites in 'Hellraiser' is where you'll find our Wishmaster. He absolutely twists wishes and perverts them into not what the wisher wanted- ohmygod, those Wish items make perfect sense now. Huh. That just clicked for me, lol. ANYWAY, so the WM twists wishes in variant ways. Some are too literal, some are turns of a phrase. The monster/freaky thing work here is top notch. There's several explosions that feel like they're overdoing it a bit. There's one wish/kill that kinda feels like it came last. Either they blew through the budget or didnt have the technology to make it work. *But* that's part of what makes this a fun experience. This movie just fuckin GOES FOR IT. Had they reigned it in, it might be a better movie but not nearly as fun. Also, we get a couple cameos from familiar horror vets. It's a movie that horror fans will cherish. That said, it's not exclusive to horror fans. This movie swings wildly and if that's your bag, good god you need to see this. The main gal, Alex, is lacking a little bit in the charisma department but overall fine. There *is* this parallelism between Wishmaster (who has to grant wishes to get what he wants) and Alex being a woman that is desired/pursued by her best friend. A remake would do well to explore that facet, but this one seems more concerned with SFXmania. And honestly, I do still dig it. Very recommended, though I wouldnt have it on while trick-r-treaters are coming to the door. Available now on Pluto TV!

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You’re Next

'You're Next' is one horror fans have probably seen but non-fans may have skipped or not known. This is a movie for yall that think "get out of the house" or "dont be dumb". To quicksplain it, this is 'The Strangers' versus Kevin from 'Home Alone'. There's a lot to like in here, between the story's plot twists and freshening-up of tropes. It's not quite as meta as 'Cabin In The Woods' or 'Scream',  but it clearly knows how you think things are gonna go. Everyone does pretty well here acting-wise and the bloodwork is solid. It's well paced of being bloody but not excessively. One kill is rather cathartic, honestly. But yeah, it's a solid one to have in the mix during spooky season. If you havent seen it, I do recommend it. I'd seen it before but it does hold up upon second viewings. You can judge it more on its own merits once you know what they are, y'know? Available now on Hulu!

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Mortal Kombat (2.0/ Cole Young/ 2021 version)

So, that new 'Mortal Kombat' movie... Overall, I'd give it like a B-. It's pretty good, certainly not *bad*. Like 20-30min in, I got the vibe. This is "cool". The folks who made this think MK is so cool. That's not wrong but it's also a little silly. That's something that the original 90s movies understood (and kinda leaned into). It's easier to play it silly and have cool moments, ala the 90s flicks. This version plays it cool with some silly moments, but that makes those moments feel *so* out of place. A character *literally* says "flawless victory" after a pretty over-the-top death. This stands out, but in the bad way. Y'know what stands out in a good way? FUCKING KANO. The guy playing him is such a wonderful piece of shit and god damn he steals the whole movie. Hands down, the best part about it. Everyone else is pretty good - particularly Mehcad Brooks as Jax - but Kano was on another level. Special effects are pretty good too. Um... Goro is kinda "meh" though. It's the Hulk from the Marvel movies. Sure, he's got long hair and four arms. But it's pretty much the exact same model/CGI'd-up thing and, again, it's noticeable. I did like that they played around with allegiances/alignments. Scorpion isnt the antichrist in this one... Sub-Zero is. Let it play out though. Scorpion on the side of good works, but Sub-Zero as the antichrist works REALLY WELL. There's this impact to his moves that feels really "mean" and visceral. The gunplay in 'John Wick' had this too where yeah it's an action movie that has these expected things, but it lands harder than it usually does. It helps (unlike that run-on sentence, but yall know I'm largely rambling in these anyway). Overall, it's good bit not great. If they do another one, I could take or leave Cole. They've earned some goodwill though and I would probably see it at least once. I dunno. I dont regret watching this one, but I also kinda feel like if you wanted to see it then you probably already have. If you do want to but havent, it's solid. Streaming on HBO Max, but the county library has it on DVD too (for free!).

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‘Shadow Of The Batgirl’ review

'Shadow Of The Batgirl' is a DC Comics YA graphic novel. It takes Cassandra Cain - a fan favorite character - and reimagines her origin for a new audience. Cass is intact here, and we get the bullet points of what makes her so special. The Asian daughter of an assassin, Cain was trained to be an assassin and not trained to communicate. So Cass can understand body language but can't read. She can kinda talk but has trouble speaking herself. Um, it borders on "cutesy" or "corny", but it ultimately does come from a place of love. That's probably the big thing - sure, you get the vibe of where it's going but it's an enjoyable ride there. Writer Sarah Kuhn does really well with the cast, which is good since she made up two of them (Jackie & Erik are entirely new for this story). We jettison time-specific events (like "No Man's Land" and "The Killing Joke") in favor of making it new reader friendly. Kuhn absolutely understands the characters though and you still get Babs and Cass as they are. Well, Barbara is maybe a little warmer here but Batman never appears either. So not having Bruce ignore her advice and constantly ask her for s*** probably helps boost morale, haha. The illustrator Nicole Goux does really well too. Goux does really well when Cass is in action, and the art has a wonderful kinetic aesthetic to it. Also, captures emotion pretty well, even if it's more of a cartoony way. It's fine though. This is an easy breezy read, in both writing and art. I dont know if they collaborate regularly but I hope so. It's not quite on par with the Beast Boy & Raven YA OGNs (which I *adored*), but it's still really good. I'd put those at like a 9, while this is like an 8, 8.5. If you're new to comics, have heard good things about Cassandra Cain, or even just, "hey, if I like female superheroes and Batman", I absolutely recommend this. With various breaks coming up, it'd be a good pick to have in the clutch. Probably on Hoopla but I got it from the county library. Absolutely recommended!

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AOC reconnecting with her 2nd grade teacher on Twitter today

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Rachel!

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I forget the full title of it, but the Rocko’s Modern Life one-off on Netflix was really great and if you haven’t watched it, you really should. Starts off a little rocky, but becomes something special pretty quickly. A low-key gem!

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via AEW on TNT’s IG Story on 7.29.20

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MOTHER-EFFING WARHORSE DEBUTED ON AEW DYNAMITE TONIGHT AND THEY GAVE HIM PYRO

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‘A Simple’ Case Of Trying Too Hard

Y'know, I'm usually out of the loop on actually listening to albums or watching movies. So I'll see a movie like 'A Simple Favor' available to stream, and I'll remember, "Oh yeah, that was Paul Feig's movie after the Chickbusters debacle. Huh. No one ever talks about it. I'll give it a go..." BOI HOWDY, WAS THAT A MISTAKE. That damn thing sure did take its sweet ass time with EVERYTHING. There's "decent amount of twists" and then there's "I'm gonna need a chart to keep track of this all". It's less 'Gone Girl' (which made sense but still WAS A LOT), and more like a flow chart of 'Star Wars' movies. "This one is given to us here, but it chronologically goes *there*". Which is fine, it's a thriller/mystery so like it's a staple of the genre. I have no idea what the endgame was though. It's clear who is responsible, but the "how/why" of it all... Well, someone needed to prove they had a big brain and were super clever. Blake Lively is great here (she's not always a great actress, so when she's really good it shines brighters). Anna Kendrick is also fantastic. ... Blanking on the dude's name, but he holds his own as well. Hoping he gets more work. This one though? This aint it. 6/10, available to stream on Amazon Prime, if you want a mystery that has a recurring thing involving incest.

I didnt, but I got it anyway and didnt like it.

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If You Like Medical Shows/Gore, ‘The Toe Bro’ Gotcha

'The Toe Bro' is a graphic A&E show about foot doctor stuff (podiatrist?). People come in to see this dude with their f***ed up feet- AND OH THESE ARE FIVE-TOED NIGHTMARES- and this dude helps these people feel better. It involves a lot of procedures and does NOT hold back. It's one of the more graphic doctor shows we've watched... but if medical procedures are your jam, bro you GOTTA check this one out. If you cant handle like a nail coming off, DO NOT EVER WATCH THIS. You may now choose your own adventure.