any advice for a friendship breakup? (not fading apart, or distance, but a literal, I don't want to be friends with you - we've been friends for over half our lives)
Omg okay I GOT YOU. Friends break up for all sorts of reasons, so I’m probably missing some key context here, but I can at least tell you the basics (and ik you said it’s not due to distance but I’ll include that too just in case)!!!
Please give yourself pause. For me. Do not go into a panic & text them an essay’s worth of defense as to why they’re being unfair & shouldn’t cut you off. I’ve done this before, and I’ve even changed people’s minds about keeping me in their lives with it, but it’s not even worth it bc someone who decides to cut you off without communication over an issue they won’t even bother discussing isn’t someone worth keeping. Not to mention the post panic clarity where you absolutely wish you just composed yourself before saying anything
Also don’t text/call them your in the midst of your anger either bc you will regret it
If it’s a matter of natural distance - it hurts but it happens. You can verbalize your hurt over it, but ultimately you have to respect their decision. Distance could happen for so many reasons. People changing, circumstances, or you just reminding them of a time they’d rather forget. It sucks but it happens
If they’re just high off cutoff culture & are being a total asshole who thinks they “don’t owe anyone anything” - they’re totally pathetic & you dodged a bullet by having them walk out of your life tbh. Tangent but totally sick of people who peddle this mentality on the basis that they’re “protecting their peace,” when that’s just code for not taking people’s feelings into account & having 0 conflict resolution skills. You do… in fact… owe people common decency. And you owe a friend (even a former one) an explanation
If you fucked up in a major way that warranted this, I know it hurts SO SO bad (and it’s easier said than done even for me) but I think you should just acknowledge it, apologize, and respect their decision. There’s nothing else you can do. They don’t owe you staying in your life
Long term friendship ending hurts like crazy BUT if it’s meant to be you guys will find each other; and if it’s not you’ll still have the memories.
You can hold on to the memories even if you guys fell out. It’s ok
But you can also totally do everything you have to do to move on faster. Delete convos, go no contact w whomever you need to, etc. If someone’s strong enough to move on while having it in their face, then good for them but it’s certainly not a reasonable expectation. Going no contact is totally okay
I know your mind is playing a highlight reel right now. Let yourself feel it but then ask yourself if you want to stay friends with someone who would sooner cut you off than make it work
It will be ok. It hurts like hell but there will still be a lot of life to live beyond this. I love you
origamiaround
tangentwithtanner
janainaart
theartofmadeline
2087
baratheonpilled
blakekathryn
