This isnât really meant to be a comic trashing my dad.
I do truly appreciate his commitment to education. I do truly have a soft spot for his style of humor, which certainly influenced the development of my own. I appreciate how he had this VHS-C camera that he was always bringing out and would let me use, sparking my love for movies and starting me on a path that led to me going to film school.
All those good things about him were real.
But so was the colossal amount of damage he caused.
If you happen to be a parent and are reading this right now, Iâm going to ask that you consider this suggestion from a childless thirty-six year old:
You need to consider how you communicate with your child, and how communication doesnât just mean the words that you use.
Youâre telling your kids something with the foods you eat, the activities you engage in, etcâŠ
âŠyou communicate to your children with the media you consume.
The rhetoric against the trans community wasnât as much in the spotlight when I was growing up, but every time my dad turned on the radio, heâd have my sister and I listen to the likes of Rush Limbaugh, or Sean Hannity, Mark Levin, etcâŠÂ One of the topics thatâd come up frequently was queer people.Â
Issues about Donât Ask Donât Tell, gay marriage, gay boy scoutsâŠ
The âgaysâ were an issue. More than an issue really, they were a problem. If someone was queer, these radio hosts were quick to villainize; âthis teacher is going to turn their students gay,â âthis troop leader is going to abuse his scouts,â you donât want your kid to end up like that, do you?â
My dad would listen to these folks non-stop and nod along in agreement, all the while his extremely queer and aware of it child was sitting right behind him, listening to how she was some kind of monster.
There could be no sharing about aspects of myself. My parents would be listening to 770am or Fox News all the time. If I share that I was queer, Iâd be finished. How couldnât that be the case? Every day they chose to listen to people that hate me, so they hate people like me.Â
So I canât let them know me. I wonât let them know me.
Even though they never said that they hated queer people with their own words, they told me that they hated queer people every day with the media they chose, and in turn forced me to consume.
So again, if there are any parents reading this right now, consider my words. Hate is a choice you make, and hate can be communicated with more than just words.
If for no other reason, you never know if that kid in the back seat is listening, listening to how you hate them.
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