If Dr. Seuss Books Were Titled According to Their Subtexts

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@hyperactivedreamer
If Dr. Seuss Books Were Titled According to Their Subtexts
can you believe there are people who have grown up on the internet without ever having read this
I need to know the end of this. What is this now-15 year old doing with his life right now and how much does he fucking hate furries
it has been like at least eight years and sometimes I still think to myself, when I am tired, ābut I am le tired⦠well then take a nap! AND THEN FIRE ZE MISSILESā even though in retrospect that is like one of the most embarrassingly unfunny videos to ever come out of the internetĀ
tbh i still start sentences withĀ āhokay, soā at least 3 times a dayĀ
same, aggressively so. I also still useĀ āwtf, mate.ā
#i have no idea what this is referring to#but iām relieved to know iām not the only one out there randomly quoting old internet videos#some shit is always hilarious to meĀ (x)
OH MAN
LET ME LEARN YOU A THING
who doesnāt think this is STILL AS HILARIOUS as it was when we all watched it over and over and over again 15 years ago?
My husband and I still quote this to this day.
I give the fullĀ āhokey, so⦠hereās the earthā whenever Iām stumbling over my words or trying to figure out what to say.
AND WHO SAYS THIS VIDEO ISNāT FUNNY!?!?!?!? Ā I WILL FIGHT YOU!
What the fuck kind of a heretic doesnāt think this is funny?
HOLY SHIT I REMEMBER THIS
Scooby Doo idea: Daphne Blake as the weird rich kid whose parents signed her up for a shit-ton of rich-kid extracurriculars like polo, fencing, and all of this other shit so they wouldnāt have to deal with her/bolster her college resume. She puts a lot of effort into actually being good at all these extra-curriculars bc sheās competing with all of her ~super successful and talented~ sisters for attentionĀ and ends up athletic as hell and socially stunted and likeā¦really aggressive and competitive and never quite satisfied with anything sheās doing. The only otherĀ āHigh Societyā kid who can put up with her is NorvilleĀ āShaggyā Rogers āan anxious stoner with freaky strict parents whose only friend prior to Daphne was his equally anxious rescue dogāDaphneās been beating up Shaggyās bullies for years.Ā Then thereās student council dweeb Fred Jones whoās always been groomed to be thisĀ āleaderā by his parents and is always pressured to go to these youth leadership things and stuff and yeah heās pretty good at directing group projects, but really Fredās kind of shy and more interested in engineering, forensics and maybe criminal justice and heās been friends with this chick Velma Dinkley in engineering club whoās brilliant but sheās also tactless, awkward and very bitterly sarcastic to cover up for the fact that her book smarts far outweigh her social skills.
Ā So then thereās this mystery downtown and all five of them show up andĀ thereās a mutual,Ā āOh hey itās you: The weird kid from my school. What are you doing here?ā and everyone goes around. Fredās like,Ā āOh I knew the owners of this place and they said they might have to close down because of this ghost and I told Velma about it and Velma thinks we can get to the bottom of this.ā And Shaggyās like,Ā āScoob and I didnāt want to be home right now and we honestly didnāt know about the ghost but hey Daphneās here so we feel safe enough to hang out and maybe Scoob can sniff out some clues or something.ā And then everyone turns and looks at Daphne and Daphneās just like,Ā āI want to fight a fucking ghost.āĀ
I appreciate all of this.
90% of my humor is zooming in really close on ppls faces
#lol but like#what if we did the reverse#iām just picturing a bunch of scientists#no longer experts in mitochondria#now theyāre mitochondria fan girls#i love itĀ (via @brainsandbooshay)
āThis is professor Aldridge, he is a fan girl in vacuum energy and cosmic superstrings, and highly acclaimed physics trash in the quantum phys fandomā
things u youngins will never understand
peter pan at disney land discourse
mishapocalypseĀ
āreblog if you support gay marriage xDDDDā followed by 500 glee, spn, doctor who gifs and comments likeĀ āthen john and sherlock could get marriedā andĀ āif you donāt reblog this iām unfollowing youā
yāall know about superwholock but you donāt know about superwholock there were petitions to each studio to get them to do a mashup urls likeĀ ājohnlock-in-the-tardis-with-castiel-221bā shittyĀ āeditsā which were just stolen gifs mashed together with different dialogue over them
that one time someone reblogged a gif of the london eye from the sherlock opening and saidĀ āi donāt know why but this feels like homeā and ended up deleting their blog bc there were so many comments the blockquotes ran off the screen of people calling them stupid and a shitton of spn gifs as always
gif memes akaĀ āthe x gif in your folder is your reaction when dean and cas kissā
that fucking theme garden theme with the scrolls and banners. you know the one.
once-ler and subsequently shipping him with himself
rise of the guardians
āew all these hannibal fans trying to get in on superwholock get awayāĀ
the supreme hatred of all female characters
everyone shipping lestrade and mycroft bc idk theyāre white men i guess
merlin
tom hiddleston and benedict cumberbatch were the sexiest men alive
āreblog ALL the memesā type posts you know the ones
gif wars
mutant and proud
the social network
inception
ask blogs
always reblog david karpĀ
gpoy
5ever
what is air?!
when you had to go to another page to reblog things
scrolling all the way back to the top to reblog a post
missing e.
ācan you make that last ask rebloggable?ā
2012 doomsday
+bonus of the above: posts likeĀ āitāll be okay dean and sam are out there saving the world right now xDā
Star Trek TNG Uniform Messenger Bags
I want all of them.Ā
SHUT UP OMG
@how-do-i-even-life
I know that videogames will sometimes question your morality but not when it comes to looting the dead.Ā
#listen i killed this fucker fair and square iām taking his gun and ammo and u canāt stop me
(source)
Whoa, I didnāt realize that it was so deliberate, I honestly thought it was unconscious
Scary, scary.
Kinkshame the kinkless
@how-do-i-even-life
Tumblr Code.
If I ever see any of you in public, the code is āI like your shoelacesā
that way we know weāre from tumblr without revealing anything
Iām just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person
must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!
Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.
always reblog tumblr identification
This is an absolute tumblr relic. I feel like an archaeologist right now. This is incredible that this is on my dash.
Male and female brains arenāt wired differently
New research, published in October in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, concluded that despite size discrepancy, thereās no functional difference between menās and womenās brains. āMaleā brains and āfemaleā brains simply donāt exist. In fact, thereās significant overlap.
and the myth of binary biological sex and gender essentialism continues to come crumbling down
only americans will understand::
shirley temple DVD set infomercialĀ
the moral of hamlet is donāt ever try to go home and resolve conflicts with yr family just stay at college and do gay shit w ur friends
As an English teacher I am qualified to tell you this analysis is insightful and may be supported fully with textual evidence.