FORKLIFT CERTIFIED @hyperionheresy - Tumblr Blog

As more and more people are being forced to switch to Windows 11, Microsoft's most AI-malware-ridden OS yet, I've been putting together articles and links for how to undo the damage and save your battery, your RAM, your disk space, your privacy, and your sanity from this bullshit.

FIRST:

The easiest way to get rid of the majority of the bullshit that Windows is forcing on us, as of October 2025, is this one-stop-one-click debloat solution from a modern day hero:

A simple, lightweight PowerShell script to remove pre-installed apps, disable telemetry, as well as perform various other changes to customi

It's very easy, even if you're not tech savvy or get scared of pop up windows saying "ARE YOU SURE?" Yes, you are sure, I promise. This program takes maybe two minutes and will save you SO MUCH pain, time, and money (and exploitation).

Now that you've done that, here's the cleanup, to catch the little shit that the debloat might have missed (most of this will already be done by debloat, but hey, it's good to double check).

Microsoft wants to put AI everywhere on your PC, but you can take back control.

Even just reading about some of these features makes me angry. Fucking Copilot and "Discover" AI scrapers are in Notepad. NOTEPAD. And then there's this uncanny valley garbage:

No uncanny valley video calls for me, thanks! (Also, what else is it doing while it scans your face and listens to your calls? What else, microsoft? Because there was a lot of memory being assigned to this program for a simple "smooths your skin" add on).

Tired of Microsoft pushing ads throughout Windows 11? Here are the settings you can tweak to turn them off and reclaim some privacy.

The truly insane number of places they have stuck ads on your own home computer is sickening. Become Unmarketable.

Bonus:

Some background programs you probably don't need that are taking up space and how to remove them (Microsoft forums, 2024)

Your Samsung Galaxy Phone comes with 22 apps you don't need (Android Police, 2025)

How to disable the AI in firefox (still the only browser that lets you do this permanently) (Windows Report, 2025)

nonbinary-wrath-month

Non-binary people get louder NOW. Non-binary people get angrier NOW. Be a killjoy. Get obnoxious about your pronouns. Put gendered words together in ways that people don't like and spit on the ones they think are mandatory. Refuse to laugh at their stupid exorsexist "jokes". Dress in ways they don't understand. Refuse to answer their prying questions. Tell exorsexists to kiss your ass. Keep your chin up. Raise your voice. Get loud and a little cocky. I want to see your nonbinarity from outer space. Don't get it twisted; do it TODAY. Do you understand me?

angelbabymikaa

🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

🕯️ you will see trump dead or behind bars 🕯️

🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️in your lifetime 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

my-dailydreams

somethingusefulfromflorida

bellamynochillblake

we’re going to have to call smut ‘lemons’ again, aren’t we?

im-reddie

LEMONS!? WHEN THE FUCK WAS THIS?!

bellamynochillblake

oh you sweet summer child

fool-errant

I actually made this a button last convention

smooththegoofyshark

Gaud I remember when it was lemons, I feel old now

butteryswimmingthing

explain pls

smooththegoofyshark

smol-bean-meme-machine

What are lemons??

phylix

I don’t own the copyright to this, others own the show. All I have is this saaaad little computer and a sketch pad. ^-^ Please don’t sue! I don’t need anymore stress!

Please R&R!!!!!!!

No flames. >///<

lotrlocked

lol this story contains slash! Don’t like don’t read. Rated M. AragornxLegolas. lemon. Lololol ^-^ NO FLAMES OR I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY STABBITY SPORK OF Death! -__-

dayoldhakarl-deactivated2021011

#this post made me age ten thousand years.

tangolove

CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ONLY PLZ THNX

geekandmisandry

Are literally any of you speaking English???

hayloumac-deactivated20220427

Limes too tho

somath-cegem

O.o no, I can’t relive this! NO!

rhube

I’m old enough to have not been sure what ‘lemon’ meant the first time around.

You guys, I know you’re just torturing the n00bs, but I thought I was gonna finally find out!

moniquill

10k citrus pure fluff, Gundam, 1x2, 1xR, 3x4, 5x13 Rated E unless you think all slash should be M because you’re a butt. Plans for M rating and lemons in future chaps. Don’t Like Don’t Read Concrit only Flames will be deleted.

perictione

I still immediately understood this

larissafae

i reblogged this without getting to the end but then i did and the gundam wing reference hit me like a fucking mac truck I REMEMBER EVERYTHING

lilyblisslys

the main trick to dancing at a goth club is:

1. Imagine you’re a powerful wizard

2. Imagine you’re channeling mana for one of your strongest spells

ofdirtandbones

oooooo what a cool post my mutual just reblogged ! I think I will reblog it as well !!! oooooh who did they reblog it from ? That username seems familiar,,, hohoho it's me ! from an hour ago !

thememedaddy

ohxxlapetitemort

I like seeing some of you ""regulars"" in my notes it's like oh hey that's my Coworker from Tumblr

bugdotpng

absolutely boggles my mind how so many social media sites do NOT want you scrolling without an account. can't even click on an instagram profile while not being logged in without it blocking you. even if you put it in the url, it only lets you scroll like twice before it prompts you to log in. fucking youtube won't let me watch videos on my phone anymore because i use firefox focus and don't want to log in every time i wanna watch a video so it's instead flagged me as a bot. i also think social media sites are drastically overestimating how badly i "need" to use their sites. if you won't let me browse someone's profile or watch a damn video on the Browsing Profiles and Watching Videos social media sites then i will simply leave. the power of chucking your phone into the metaphorical ocean. i hope i hurt their metrics every time i close out of a tab <3

herssian

online numbers can really fuck you up when it comes to your creative work because you're sharing something you worked on with all your heart but it's very important to remember there's actual people behind those numbers. even if it's 1. that's one whole actual person. that's a human being who said "haha nice". that's a connection with a REAL person with a REAL life and REAL thoughts and feelings and experiences. like. damn. that should mean something

todaysbird

i think this is…actually the most extreme stupid dove nest I’ve seen.

video

kaiapraxidike

tartrazeen

Imagine you're coming home after a long day of hunting, and the first thing you hear is your seven shitty kids screeching at you for no reason, how pissed off would you be, I'd immediately fly away too

Imagine you're the oldest of seven and a fucking HOA member broke into your HOUSE and SHIT AN EGG and is BITING at your siblings, but your dad shows so you try to tell him the problem but you're very little and you don't speak English and he doesn't speak English either so you can't communicate that a fucking GOBLIN is in your HOUSE and the only reason he doesn't know is cause his ASS was on that bitch's HEAD and he must've assumed it was one of your brothers and sisters but it was actually that FREAK WOMAN who got in, and now your dad is flying away 'cause he has no idea what's going on

Imagine you're a parent and you've calmed down and gone to get McDonald's for your seven kids, and you come home expecting to get cheers because you know the D's are always a winner, but when you fly back in through the door the kids are all still screaming, and it's not even excited screams but you don't know what's wrong so you just look into the camera like you're Jim from the Office

Imagine you're one of the small middle children and probably the one that this HOA WITCH was BITING after she broke into YOUR HOUSE and SHIT an EGG and you tried to be a good host by cuddling with her to congratulate her on her egg but then she started BITING and taking over your ROOM and threw out all your GOOSEBUMPS books and your eldest sibling couldn't call dad so you all just had to wait, and then dad comes home but your STUPID FAMILY won't stop SCREECHING to explain what's going on so your dad leaves but then comes back and he's brought McDonald's which is like yay but there is an INTRUDER, and finally your dad looks around the house and notices BITCH BIRD KAREN IN YOUR BEAN BAG CHAIR, and you're like ok dad can handle this but then you learn he's more scared than you?????

Imagine you're a dad and you just got home with McDonald's and WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN MY HOUSE but luckily you have seven children and the mean one is willing to fight this bitch and you're just gonna chill in this corner until this problem is resolved even if your other kids are straight-up judging you

Imagine you're Kevin McCallister and you're doing Home Alone except you're not home alone 'cause your dad is home too but he's not helping, he's just holding a bag of McDonald's, so you have to be the head of this house at eight years old 'cause you're home alone emotionally but this FREAK ON AN EGG isn't leaving so you decide to screech at your dad and he's more scared of you than she is

Imagine you're a dad and your child has publicly shamed you in front of your other kids and this ASSHOLE KAREN and you decide you're not gonna take this shit anymore so you tell your kids that you paid for this McDonald's with your hard-earned bird money and they're gonna damn well eat this, so everybody stop looking at that side of the house and just eat your fucking french fries but then that fucking MONSTER starts BITING your only child willing to go into battle so you recognize this is a lost cause and throw the burgers on the counter and you remember you're an ADULT so you grab your car keys and fly the fuck away

Imagine you're all seven children and dad left you with the pigeon again

foone

The three types of kink are

* you have power

* you're safe

* feet

foone

this is a shitpost but I think it's not THAT wrong. Most kink is either one of (or a combination of):

You get to play at having power over someone else. This is your dominance sorts of things, your sadisms, etc.

You get to play safely. You can play with scary things while knowing there's safewords and a dom/top who loves you.

Feet. By which I mean, there's some normal part of the human experience that your brain has for some reason fixated on. Maybe you're into red hair, or glasses, or fluffy tails.

foone

"safety" can also present as "useful". You have some intrinsic value that cannot be taken from you (because of some sex/kink thing). The safety is from abandonment, because you're useful, despite everything. And "useful" is a bunch of kinks (none of which I'm comfortable mentioning here).

sleepydogdisease

oh no, animal ears are feet

foone

yeah. cat ears are feet!

mere-technicality

can someone turn this into the calvin's dad dialogue

foone

oh god, this is so obviously calvin's dad dialogue that now I'm worried that I plagiarized it without realizing it

madigail

the two types of tumblr post are calvin's dad and rule 34. all posts fall into one of these two categories. despite being kink-related, this post is actually calvin's dad.