Be kind to one another PSA
This past year helping the love of my life confront his depression has been one of the hardest tasks I’ve ever faced, one night of us drinking so much his lips got loose and I’ve never heard him so upset..... talking about how he wanted to die, he didn’t see a point in living anymore, and much more, hearing him talk like that really sobered me up at that moment. Even after that night, he wouldn’t really talk to me about his pain, as much as I would check in on him or thought we were in a good moment…. Only for it to fade away so fast, at times it seemed for no reason. He would hold onto things he wanted to address to me, they always came off so forced?.... rushed?.... I don’t know if I’m even describing it well enough for you all, at times he seems to pick fights for no reason. The last one we got into I had enough and told him I don’t want an apology, I want him to go get help and see someone for his depression. I have also done the same this past week, he saw his doctor 2 weeks before me and has been on some anti-depressed… I too am on some as of this past Friday, it had really helped him with opening up and talking about his feeling more, which is good I hated seeing him hold it all in and eat away at him. I never thought this man would ever look at himself and even think he is not worth anything, that he is a failure, for not being further in life….. I couldn’t understand how he could feel or see that in himself, he still has those moments where he scares me….. He tells me to trust he won’t do anything foolish and I trust him with my whole heart, everything that I am, I trust him with my being…. Please don’t break my heart……
Things are much better for him, his libido has gone up for him like crazy, takes his time to talk to me more about his feeling instead of getting upset…... 7 years now together I never would have thought he would have kept those dark feelings to himself when people say check in on your loves ones I feel hopeless…. I was checking in but he refused to share with me, what if he never shared…. I don’t like to think about all the times he went silent on me… how many times has he come close without me knowing? I’m scared to know or even ask at this point, I don’t want to trigger him…. I’m doing what I can to fill his life with joy and love hoping it will heal him along his journey. Supporting anything that brings him joy, and seeing him happy has always filled me with so much warmth and joy; it was hard to see it fade away. I feel partly to blame for that though he has told me not to blame myself…. It’s kind of hard not to, I know he has forgiven me but I don’t know if I have forgiven myself for even knocking him down far enough that he feels the way he does. And with what happened this past week with Jason David Frank A.K.A (Tommy Oliver the green ranger) moments leading up to his death (suicide) he had been arguing with his wife, they were going through a divorce and in the midst of their second argument, he locked himself in his hotel room where he then hung himself in the restroom. I have followed that man's career for years and was hoping to meet him someday, you just never know what people are going through alone. he was always smiling, teaching children karate, going to con's.... and so much more. it's why I keep pushing my husband to connect, to talk, and to keep trying to heal. I want to know that he not giving me a fake smile, that he will tell me and reach out when he is near the edge.
Be kind to one another, and love one another…. We only have one life to live, let’s make it a beautiful one and heal one another. Remember if you need someone to talk to don’t be afraid to reach out for help, you are NEVER alone, and the amount of pain you will leave behind will hurt the people you love, the people you thought would be bothered by you.... they WILL be devested at the loss of someone they LOVED, shit send me an inbox message, I know what it's like the be in that darkness and I don't ever want to go back to that. so I will fight for others to never feel like that, I love you.
dededos
kianamaiart
izzy806
blakekathryn
