Your Favorite Trash Can

I will post about anything and everything and I try way too hard to be funny so please follow me I am funny I promise

[i-am-always-nervous]

my biggest problem in life is that if im holding my phone in my right hand I can’t reach the tumblr home button with my thumb

[chromaticabrasions]

have we tried substance abuse my liege

[i-am-always-nervous]

please, call me cinnamon. cinnaminimum was my father

[pavitraprabhakars]

just did a hit of pillow and blanky

[barstoolblues]

simon and garfunkel, often referred to as the dan and phil of folk rock,

[thunderpibb]

i love when they draw a carrot on top of the carrot cake just to remind you this aint no ordinary fuckin cake youre dealing with

[danwithouttheplan]

I like big butts and yet I possess the capability to lie

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

my parents always told me that i was a happy accident cause i came out of the cd drive when they tried to burn some ABBA songs

[sonic06apologist]

Just realized my married friends can never commit the sin of premarital sex again how fucked up is that

[trucksquared]

call me Ken the way I don't. have a job

[valtsv]

my girl so morally ambiguous idk if i should call her good girl or bad girl in bed

[liquidstar]

I just saw someone say the words "jokingly gaslight" this might be a good time to reintroduce the internet to the terms "lying" or perhaps "pranking" or even just "joking" on it's own

[capesandshapes]

The saddest thing is going through life knowing you're going to find out when world war three begins through the gay supernatural meme

[greelin]

i am literally not even human like i have to be a creature of some sort. like a horse. or a dvd player

[sporesgalaxy]

access to flash games should be the next basic human right after food and water and housing and voting

[bisaster-energy]

misha is in squirrel hell and we are all in dog heaven my friends

[grinnersmiler]

"Bedroom eyes" yeah man, hes a sleepy guy, the sleepiest guy in the world, takes a nap anywhere no problem, he also has neurodiverse in the head. You wish you were him.