I dwell in darkness...

... and darkness is where I belong. 90% a Black Jack Randall shrine, plus Tobias Menzies, Outlander, The Terror, and more. They/them. 18+ A disorganized mess wherein triggers abound.

[i-dwell-in-darkness]

@ Outlander trolls:

Your goal was to break this fandom?

Congratulations. You fucking broke me. You win. You haven’t even contacted me personally, and you still got your fucking wish. You’ve destroyed all passion and hope I had. You’ve turned me against my friends. You’ve ruined this fandom for me. You’ve driven me out.

I’m weak and pathetic and cowardly and just don’t want to deal with it anymore. I’m running away instead of standing up for what’s right because I’m afraid and selfish.

So again I say congratulations. You’ve brought out the worst in me.

Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck us both. We’re both what’s wrong with this fandom. So fucking thank you, I guess, for at least reminding me who I really am. For breaking the illusion that I could ever care about other people. I’m incapable of doing that; it always comes back to me. My perspective. My fears.

This fandom will be a better place without me in it. I know that the truly good people will stand strong.

So guess what, you didn’t really win. Because it doesn’t take any fucking effort to break someone who’s already fucking broken. And I’ve been broken long before I ever tried to infiltrate this group and hide that fact.

[i-dwell-in-darkness]

.

[i-dwell-in-darkness]

I’m running out of places to turn when I disagree with my friends, so I’m just going to start (continue?) using this blog like a journal.

If something I say offends anyone, no matter how little or closely we know each other and interact, please do whatever you feel necessary to protect yourself and your mental health. But I just cannot keep this all in my head (or in txt file rotting on my hard drive, or a chat bot archive, or…). I need some sort of public release to unburden myself from these emotions.

I’m just so upset by how this keeps dragging on, and I think both sides are contributing to that. There, I said it. Both.

I already watched this exact same thing happen a couple months ago in a different fandom. And my stance now is the same as it was then. I think both sides are doing things to other people that I would classify as bullying/harassment.

In a context of “moral relativism” (I don’t think that’s the right term, but oh well)—that is, that some “bad/wrong/evil” things are inherently more “bad/wrong/evil” than others; a phenomenon which I am honestly not even sure is true or not—then I do believe that what the “trolls” are doing—the things they are saying, the ideas they are propagating—is worse.

However, that doesn’t mean that everything that the “defenders” are doing is right. At a certain point, it has crossed a line into revenge for me—an eye for an eye. That point isn’t always easy to identify, and it’s different for every situation. But I believe it has been crossed. There is a difference to me between confronting someone to shut them down and attacking them to stir them up. And yes, I know that some of these trolls are going to be stirred up no matter what you say to them. However, I still don’t think it’s right to waylay them.

Maybe I give people too much credit by assuming good, or at least ignorant intentions. Maybe I want to believe that all people have the potential to be good if they are guided there gently. Maybe I see myself in these trolls because just because, though I agree with nothing they are saying, I have seen the same kind of dog piling they are receiving on other subjects. Historically, both sides have attacked people like me for dark content. I understand it’s not a one-to-one comparison. What the trolls are doing/saying are things that I believe are genuinely evil: homophobia; antisemitism; suicide bating; etc. No amount of getting to know them or their perspectives is ever going to make those things right. However, I have seen the same kind of treatment that these trolls are receiving applied to fans who ship victim/rapist. Many people believe that’s also just as evil as the things I listed above. And I am witnessing the same kind of outrage that I’ve experienced for that. I’m not saying that the outrage is misdirected; I 100% believe that the current behavior deserves outrage. What I’m trying (and failing, because my brain just won’t cooperate) to say is that I’ve been hurt by the effects of fannish outrage. And no matter how insidious these trolls are, I simply can’t accept that they deserve to be hurt the same way.

[i-dwell-in-darkness]

(Still taking a break, but needed to dump my toxic Wheatley nonsense somewhere 🤪 Enjoy!)

[i-dwell-in-darkness]

Taking an indefinite break from fandom/socialization. Also disabling all social media notifications, so will not see any messages, tags, etc. Apologies for causing any inconvenience or worry; have to do what is best for me right now.

[i-dwell-in-darkness]

The one good thing about being in a virtually nonexistent sized fandom is that there are no fucking trolls and assholes to worry about. I think I’m just going to sit in my Organized Crime corner and take a breather from Outlander for awhile.

[i-dwell-in-darkness]

Good looooord, Richard Wheatley is a thirsty villain (and you know how I feel about thirsty villains).

First he calls Elliot the Energizer Bunny; “That man is unstoppable,” he says, voice lingering with reverence. Wouldn’t you like to know, Richard? Whether Elliot can keep going and going and going and…

Then I can’t even with “What do you have: blue balls?” Richard wants to get in Elliot’s pants sooo badly; he just can’t stop talking about it.

Looks like next week we’re getting some action of the physical violence flavor—the fight sex tension is palpable. Could these two just fuck it out, please?

Also, I am so here for Elliot and Angela flirting to make Richard jealous. Who are you really jealous of, Richard?

[rhavewellyarnbag]

Being the author’s compare-and-contrast of The Terror and The North Water.  In which the author pens the immortal phrase ‘no brickhouse shittier’.  Well, I think it’s immortal.  Ten percent meaningful commentary.  Ninety percent yelling about that time that I correctly interpreted subtext.

[i-dwell-in-darkness]

My followers right now, here for Black Jack Randall and god knows what else:

“Who the fuck are the Wheatleys?!” 😝🤣

[herefromeden]

One thing I know for a fact

The film Chinatown involves incest. The OC finale is titled “Forget it Jake, it’s Chinatown”. If it doesn’t come out that either Richard Wheatley and Dana Wheatley OR Angela Wheatley and Rafiq were in an incestuous relationship... what a waste of a good twist.

Read the tags.

[i-dwell-in-darkness]

This gave me weird ass ideas

A two-shot parallel fic of Angela/Richie and Dana/Richard

Oedipus / Electra

Angela will do everything to protect and take care of this son from his father. Comfort him. Reassure him that he’s more a man than his father ever will be, which Richie is so desperate to hear.

Meanwhile the other two. Dana is confident, but still insecure that she’s not living up to her father. She wants his recognition more than anything. Daddy’s going to sweet talk his little princess and promise that she’s the one he’s taking to the top.

Their whole family dynamic is giving me a little bit of Zucest vibes, which I love.

[i-dwell-in-darkness]

Miscellaneous Law & Order: Organized Crime PWP scenarios floating around in my brain…

Richard wearing his immaculate suit, on his knees in that grimy courthouse bathroom, blowing Elliot

Also, Elliot pissing on Richard’s face/in his mouth in said bathroom, because why not

Elliot stuffing Richard’s mouth with one of his sweaty gym socks, accompanied by the classic “Do you ever shut up?”, before shoving him against the wall and fucking him

The good ol’ cuckold; Richard restrained on the sidelines, watching Angela and Elliot get it on. Including but not limited to:

Angela blowing Elliot; Elliot makes a comment to Richard, “Bet you wish you were in my place right now?” And before Richard can answer, Angela says “No, he wishes he were in mine.”

Elliot eating out Angela so well that she comes multiple times. All the while she teases Richard about how she’s never been so satisfied

Angela and Elliot double-teaming to brat-tame Richard

Richard tied up, blindfolded, and gagged with his own collection of expensive designer ties

Angela taking turns back and forth between pegging both Richard and Elliot

In general, Richard being a bratty, dirty-talking cock slut

[bonafidehero]

Let’s start a picrew train friends <3

Tagging: @softasawhisper @pastafossa @acewardcullen @saltyseahags @andrasta14 @charliethomascoxuniverse @aunt-pipie @ceterisparibus116

I’ve tagged a few buddies but pls if you wanna join in and you aren’t tagged PLS DO because I have a shitty memory and forget things so I definitely want to see yours!! 🖤

[andrasta14]

Hi @etherealwiitch​ and thanks so much for the tag! 💗 I had a lot fun with it! 😎

🌸 My summer self 🌸

(If I wasn’t oddly blessed with a resistance to dark circles I’d totally have them, too. lol I have to go with next to no sleep for like a month before I’ll get real raccoon eyes. And I sleep a lot less in the summer than the winter though, so my summer self ought to have them even more. xd )

❄️ My current winter self ❄️

If they’d only had a scarf it would’ve been perfect. 😅 (Because yes, Canadian winters in January and February far too frequently have you wearing your outerwear indoors, too. xd)

Tagging: @didoscity​​ @lord-trevor​​ and anyone else who wants to play. 💕

[lord-trevor]

Vampire teeth because why not 🦷

I’m tagging @narastories and @britishguyslover ❤️

[narastories]

Love me a good picrew! And I love the style of this. Might make one for some fictional characters later… Tagging @i-dwell-in-darkness​ and @jurian-is-cinnamon-roll​ and everyone who wants/is comfortable with it <3

[i-dwell-in-darkness]

Thanks for the tag @narastories ! Yours is super cute!

Per usual, me and Jonathan, who both came out looking as emo as possible 🤷🤪😈

If you come across this and want to join in, consider yourself tagged 😘

[untilshecalls-deactivated202309]

[crazyhandfulofnothing]

Oz (1997-2003) 2.06 | “Strange Bedfellows”

[sunsetpan0rama]

is you use spotify, reblog and tell how many songs have you liked. its for science

[langblrwhy]

Me during the whole day: I want to do a total of 0 (zero) things

Me at night: I need to get my life together, I want to be fluent in 3 languages, practice different art styles, learn about the modern civilization and economy and politics and watch a bunch of movies and write and read a couple of books and do e v e r y t h i n g.

[undomestication]

since an anon requested nbc hannibal for free on google drive:

season one / season two / season three