Sharp Implements

49y/o Straight/Hetero Male. Loves life, half dead, thinks boobs are the meaning of life.

[blignick]

[scrumptiousdreamerruins]

[dailycatsblog]

[kittydealer]

u/Fine-Dog-9874

[blignick]

[animentality]

[naamahdarling]

It's called bodily autonomy, you douchebags, fucking let old people do what they want. I hope she died with her back blown out and absolutely blasted on her substance of choice.

[thestuffedalligator]

I’m going to level with you. I have listened to The Devil Went Down to Georgia for most of my life. We were a country music household, this was a staple of my childhood along with Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks, and that one Chipmunks country album.

I have no idea what “Fire on the mountain run boys run/The Devil's in the house of the rising sun/Chicken in the bread pan picking out dough/Granny does your dog bite no child no” means and at this point I’m too scared to ask.

[dementian]

For once I can be of assistance.

Each of the lyrics comes from an old-time hickory song for fiddles, and is a lyric from that corresponding song.

"Fire on the Mountain" --> "Fire on the Mountain, run boys run"

Fire On The Mountain - Fiddle Player POV

"The House of the Rising Sun" --> "The Devil's in the house of the rising sun"

House of the Rising Sun

"Ida Red" --> "Chicken in the bread pan peckin' out dough"

Ida Red - Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys

"Granny Will Your Dog Bite" --> "Granny does your dog bite? 'No child, no'."

FTC #149 Granny Will Your Dog Bite

And for your furthered education, The Mountain Whipporwill.

Mountain Whippoorwill (aka How Hillbilly Jim Won the Great Fiddler's Prize)

[impossiblepackage]

this is the key part of the song, that a lot of people miss. people have this misconception that the contest between Johnny and The Devil is about who is the better fiddle player. but it isn't. its about who is the better fiddler.

in a time before things like radios and record players, every time you heard music was because there was somebody in the room with you playing an instrument. and many, many, many social events involved dancing, which requires music. so, if you're planning any kind of gathering in the american south or appalachia, you need to find a fiddler. and the fiddler's job is to play music that everybody knows and likes and can dance to.

the mistake The Devil makes in his bet with Johnny is that he misinterprets the contest as being about technical ability, so he has this big flashy song. he plays fast and impressively with a band of demons playing unfamiliar instruments in unfamiliar rhythms. he's definitely more skilled at playing than Johnny, and thinks he has it in the bag.

but Johnny wins because the contest is about being the best fiddler. the song uses these lines mentioned above as a shorthand for saying that Johnny is playing these songs. Johnny launches into a set of the most popular songs, played well, and that's what gives him his big win. A good fiddler knows all the hits, and can read the room to know what to play next. The Devil loses because he completely fails to read the room, and doesn't know the right songs.

[victusinveritas]

[a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark]

Doesn't help the Devils case that he played with a full band accompanying him.

Whereas Johnny played solo, so you could actually HEAR Johnny's fiddling.

[the-haiku-bot]

Whereas Johnny played

solo, so you could actually

HEAR Johnny’s fiddling.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[hmantegazzi]

I'm headcanoning that the Devil invokes something like Dream Theater from the future, and they are there, all technical and wanky, while the audience is absolutely confused about their weird sounds and comically long solos.

[ralfmaximus]

Time to haul out my all time favorite version. Again. <3

[thememedaddy]

[thememedaddy]

[thememedaddy]

[powerfulwizard]

[artcollectorninja]

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

[blignick]

[butmyloveyouhavewings]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the older i get, the more i appreciate the competency and cooperativeness of those politicians who got together to kill caesar 

[rat-bastard-king]

60 agreed to kill him and only 23 followed through with the plan, if I remember correctly.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i’m american do you know how siked i would be to get 23 senators to agree on direct action 

[cynassa]

According to Christopher Andrew apparently only one stroke was actually fatal

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

that is exactly as effective as I expect most political action to be tbh

[annebonny42]

I think it’s my duty to tell the world that not only a single stab was fatal, but also a bunch of those senators accidentally stabbed each other (and some of them died because of the wounds) cause they were panicking so much while attacking Caesar

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this is it. this is the taxpayers money in action. incredible.

[makingdonalddrumpfagain]